open.season
So I got lost. I've been away from here for awhile... and I don't know where to begin.
I ran from everything I knew, from home, from family, from friends... 2 and a half years, and what do I have to show for myself? At times it feels as if I lost more of me than I have gained. I made stupid decisions in the past, and regret at times why I joined the military. I didn't want to become that dead.end kid that everyone sees in the back of their mind. Just pissing my life away, and maybe I may be advancing well in the military, but at the cost of reaping my soul seems pretty exspensive... I've been through more places in the world that I want to remember and a girl who pretty much changed the way I view my life for forever... It changed my life for more than 2 years to get back on even pace, and being controlled by another human being is somewhat putrid and revolting in my mind, but now as I look at the situation I see that there is a light and I'm trying to find the best avenues to take so I wind up where I need to be. Moving to San Diego has been a really good experience so far for me. So I guess that's all I can ask from my current situation. No love drama or concerning myself with making sure I need to get in a relationship. As I see things it's really not worth all of the trouble that I'm getting into to... It'll come to me, and if it doesn't... well I'm currently fine with that also. I'm done with getting myself in bad sitautions. I lost a lot in my last one and I'm currently married to the military and that's definitely not comforting to know that I have responbilities that over my head... It's going to be me and me only which seems like a sitaution that I could drown in... but everyday is another chance to sieze the day! San Diego is pairing up to help me. I'm already in 2 bands and things could definitely go in a great direction. I hope this next deployment doesn't lead me to losing more friends... but we'll just wait and see... for now it's Carpe Diem!
I ran from everything I knew, from home, from family, from friends... 2 and a half years, and what do I have to show for myself? At times it feels as if I lost more of me than I have gained. I made stupid decisions in the past, and regret at times why I joined the military. I didn't want to become that dead.end kid that everyone sees in the back of their mind. Just pissing my life away, and maybe I may be advancing well in the military, but at the cost of reaping my soul seems pretty exspensive... I've been through more places in the world that I want to remember and a girl who pretty much changed the way I view my life for forever... It changed my life for more than 2 years to get back on even pace, and being controlled by another human being is somewhat putrid and revolting in my mind, but now as I look at the situation I see that there is a light and I'm trying to find the best avenues to take so I wind up where I need to be. Moving to San Diego has been a really good experience so far for me. So I guess that's all I can ask from my current situation. No love drama or concerning myself with making sure I need to get in a relationship. As I see things it's really not worth all of the trouble that I'm getting into to... It'll come to me, and if it doesn't... well I'm currently fine with that also. I'm done with getting myself in bad sitautions. I lost a lot in my last one and I'm currently married to the military and that's definitely not comforting to know that I have responbilities that over my head... It's going to be me and me only which seems like a sitaution that I could drown in... but everyday is another chance to sieze the day! San Diego is pairing up to help me. I'm already in 2 bands and things could definitely go in a great direction. I hope this next deployment doesn't lead me to losing more friends... but we'll just wait and see... for now it's Carpe Diem!