Hiatus Amaze Us.
So yes here I go at it again updating the live journal the way I should. Playing it low key can be quite a journey, and being in seclusion can be yet a stressful feat. I still remain after the dust clears and sometimes I wonder myself where I stand in the pile of whatever happens or will happen.
Then I learn how to open my eyes a little longer. I don't know what it is that I feel I must do or the next path that I will take in life. I'm not regretful or upset. I thought I found love and now I don't know what I want anymore. I've become so much of a workaholic that I don't even succomb to being normal. I don't even believe I have anything that makes me to exited anymore. Some days I work twelve hours or more and I'm constantly going. I want to be at the top of my game, and I do hope that I find myself passionate about something soon.
I finally have my vision straight and what a relief that is! I love my DKNY glasses. They should be called plastics becuase nothing is made of glass and 95% of the glasses are made of plastic. So seeing clearly is something that sparks my human side. I guess the military life does make you robotic. Another thing is that I guess I need to stop partying so hard. I guess sometimes I'm out it seems every night and that isn't to conduscive to my health and habits. I'm slipping slowly, but surely. I've lost so much weight I'm backdown to normal size and I'm happy I guess. Bewteen Starbucks and Coca Cola I guess I'm fully leeched.
However, I said hasta la vista to the Sidekick. I picked up a Motorola RAZR. Here are digits. 937 3 933 8692. I doubt anyone will call, but I'm throwing it out there. I'm done with them at least for the moment. Staying low to the Earth is what I'm trying to do right now. I'm maintaining so that is a keeper. I miss my friends, and sometimes I have the nightmares about them and me being lost to them.
I remember almost getting T.boned while driving by this Arabic lady while being here. It was such a close call and I'd prob. be in the paramedics car or dead. Usually, in those situations dead. Life here isn't nearly valued the same way as in the States. Certainly, I hope am changing for the better I'm not sure yet, but I've really learned how to burn bridges really fast. Sometimes I spit with a mouthful of venom and I aim to hurt. I've been sorta pushing my boundaries becoming a little more caloused.
I'm not angry I just don't love anything right now... That's what I fear the most. I'm becoming a zombie not apathetically. It's tearing away my aesthetics. The things people have come to either love me or hate me for. I've had many of chances to screw up or becoming debuacherous, but I know it's not me. I know I can turn my life whatever way I want at the moment. It's all in how I turn out from all of this. I might come home I might never come back home. I know there are a few reasons why I would, but sometimes I have to forget about my selfesh or naive reasons of wanting to come home. Florida is always in my heart and I love it more than anything that I has given me great memories. There is just that one person that pluages my mind and I can't push out of my head no matter where I go... I wish I could stop the nightmares and the dreams that are only nightmares.
There's so much ground I want to cover, will it ever happen? I guess sooner or later I'll find out.
I'm exited about going to see Paul Van Dyk since I missed that awesome guy when he came through Jax. It's really going to be something I'm going to get something really nice to wear that night.
P.S. I miss you all. I just wisht you knew. Some more than others. Being stranded on a rock is really something.
Then I learn how to open my eyes a little longer. I don't know what it is that I feel I must do or the next path that I will take in life. I'm not regretful or upset. I thought I found love and now I don't know what I want anymore. I've become so much of a workaholic that I don't even succomb to being normal. I don't even believe I have anything that makes me to exited anymore. Some days I work twelve hours or more and I'm constantly going. I want to be at the top of my game, and I do hope that I find myself passionate about something soon.
I finally have my vision straight and what a relief that is! I love my DKNY glasses. They should be called plastics becuase nothing is made of glass and 95% of the glasses are made of plastic. So seeing clearly is something that sparks my human side. I guess the military life does make you robotic. Another thing is that I guess I need to stop partying so hard. I guess sometimes I'm out it seems every night and that isn't to conduscive to my health and habits. I'm slipping slowly, but surely. I've lost so much weight I'm backdown to normal size and I'm happy I guess. Bewteen Starbucks and Coca Cola I guess I'm fully leeched.
However, I said hasta la vista to the Sidekick. I picked up a Motorola RAZR. Here are digits. 937 3 933 8692. I doubt anyone will call, but I'm throwing it out there. I'm done with them at least for the moment. Staying low to the Earth is what I'm trying to do right now. I'm maintaining so that is a keeper. I miss my friends, and sometimes I have the nightmares about them and me being lost to them.
I remember almost getting T.boned while driving by this Arabic lady while being here. It was such a close call and I'd prob. be in the paramedics car or dead. Usually, in those situations dead. Life here isn't nearly valued the same way as in the States. Certainly, I hope am changing for the better I'm not sure yet, but I've really learned how to burn bridges really fast. Sometimes I spit with a mouthful of venom and I aim to hurt. I've been sorta pushing my boundaries becoming a little more caloused.
I'm not angry I just don't love anything right now... That's what I fear the most. I'm becoming a zombie not apathetically. It's tearing away my aesthetics. The things people have come to either love me or hate me for. I've had many of chances to screw up or becoming debuacherous, but I know it's not me. I know I can turn my life whatever way I want at the moment. It's all in how I turn out from all of this. I might come home I might never come back home. I know there are a few reasons why I would, but sometimes I have to forget about my selfesh or naive reasons of wanting to come home. Florida is always in my heart and I love it more than anything that I has given me great memories. There is just that one person that pluages my mind and I can't push out of my head no matter where I go... I wish I could stop the nightmares and the dreams that are only nightmares.
There's so much ground I want to cover, will it ever happen? I guess sooner or later I'll find out.
I'm exited about going to see Paul Van Dyk since I missed that awesome guy when he came through Jax. It's really going to be something I'm going to get something really nice to wear that night.
P.S. I miss you all. I just wisht you knew. Some more than others. Being stranded on a rock is really something.