I too am an idealist! ( thank you. you know who you are.)

[xmyhearthopeto_]

Idealist n.- me.

Did I honestly believe things were getting better for me?
I would have thought so, but have come to realize...
I also am living in a false reality.

All I can do is try to live from day to day.
I lost what I have come to love...
everything I want to say, but can't
others so deeply immersed to share.

I habitually lose every now and again
This will be the time I will also.

Thank you, for letting me know that you dreamt
of me planning my suicide. I hope that never comes true...
If it were no one will know.

I plan to exile myself, and possibly every extention to me.
Maybe also this journal. Myspace, my phone, everything!
I don't want to be a realization...
It is as if I were a figmentation.
This is not a poem.
I really mean what I say.

Hopefully I achieve to be happy myself.
Certian things have come to take what I care for.
Maybe, the decisions I have made and continually make.
I though I was there or at least on the right path...
I honeslty did.

I diserve this. Whenever I move I don't intend on telling a soul.
I just don't want people to even know I exist...

I plan to make this happen...