shut up when I'm talking to you
Dear you,
You know what? I stayed on the phone with mike bourne for a VERY long time today... and we talked and I LOVED every minute of it. We do that a lot. Almost every day. And I talk to mike gongol online every single day and if I needed something I can ALWAYS call him. He makes me happy and I look forward to talking to him every day. And I talk to matt bentel in science all the time, and online. and I really like having him around. I've found that we like a lot of the same things, and he's always listening. He's never too tired to talk to me... he enjoys every word that comes out of my mouth because he's a real friend. And Mike Mashashasha talks to me all the time and I think he's one of the cockiest guys I know and I LOVE it so much I want to hug him all the time. And when mike and larry and lauren and casey came over today I didn't think ONCE about whether or not you'd want me to hang out with them, and when i made plans for mike bourne to come to my house with no one else so we could hang out in my room ALONE I didn't think about you at all. and when i told mike gongol I couldn't wait until we got out of school for jr. exchange so I could hang out with him all day. And I WILL. And if I need a hug and I see Tony in the hallway, I'll hug him because I don't care and if I want to go to a fucking concert and have fun I WILL. Contrary to what YOU think... Going to a concert is NOT cheating. Like the time I went to battle of the bands... and you got mad because I was STANDING by guys. That's not cheating, thats called having a LIFE, and NORMAL would be if I talked to them... but I didn't because I felt bad. I dont understand how by "just being there" I was "cheating." Even if it means my ex boyfriend has to carry me out again. Because HE won't get mad at me for passing out, you will. And if I want to go over to someones house and you don't know them then GET OVER IT because this is MY life and I'm FILLING MY LIFE with people who RESPECT ME. I have enough common sense not to be around people who would hurt me. How stupid do you think I am? You might say I don't have pride well FUCK YOU. You're too much of a little boy to understand what pride is. You want to hang up on me because I think PRIDE is something different from what YOU think it is then go ahead and DO IT. I've got news for you buddy, pride is intangible... therefore... the way it feels for everyone is DIFFERENT. Oh, good one. Here, let me give you the definition GORGEOUS
a : inordinate self-esteem : CONCEIT b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect c : delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship
Go ahead and tell me again that people in napervile don't understand what PRIDE is. dear god, most of the kids have TOO much pride. Didn't I say it was confidence and self-esteem? but thats okay! be a little bitch. run away from your mistakes. the biggest mistake you EVER made was saying those disgusting things you did today, and yesterday and every other day for the past couple of months. And how DARE you have the audacity to ask me how long it would take me to get over my Grandfathers death? You must be the most sick and twisted individual I have EVER met. You want to say that all the kids I'm friends with have no pride? You want to tell me they don't know what pride is? ah, allow me to assure you they are more deserving of PRIDE and RESPECT than you'll EVER be. I want to meet people... and I want someone who can respect my desire to build relationships with those people. Not someone who will discourage me for making an attempt to meet someone they don't know yet. If you were HALF the man I wanted you'd be able to SUCK IT UP and deal with the fact that I have a life and just because I enjoy it doesn't mean I'm not trustworthy. I'm the most trustworthy person you'll ever meet, and I owe it all to people like you who show me how BAD it sucks to have a selfish jerk who is too insecure to respect you in your life. I told mike bourne what you said... I told him what you said and how you held that against me. He said you're wrong, he said that its not true, and HE LISTENED while I cried. WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU? When I told Tony about what happened he told me to NEVER go back. I believe his exact words were "the second I met him I saw a long long rode of bad times... dont EVER go back." And I defended you. Can ANYONE believe that?! I DEFENDED the jerk. Well my days of defending your pathetic excuse for words worth listening to are OVER. And at snowball, when I put my pillow on brians lap and i cried... and he let me. I DIDN'T FEEL BAD. Because to you, it was the ultimate sin, to ME and EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM it was nothing, I hardly even noticed brian there. Maybe if you didn't spend so much time SUFFOCATING me I wouldn't have the desire to get away from you. Maybe you should realize that I called it off a long time ago, and until you can grow up and get out of your narrow minded naive "I'm the almight knowing everything tough man/God" stage, STAY AWAY FROM ME. Because I've got better people in my life, and people who I want to get to know. You're SO incredibly lucky I haven't told people some of the other things you've said. because they would hate you forever. And I wouldn't blame them. but I'm too EMBARRASSED to tell them. How could you be selfish enough to expect me to make a normal conversation with you more important than the death of my Poppy just so you could YELL at me with out me being OVER TIRED or UPSET? You do realize thats EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID... don't you? How long will it be before I can "get over" being upset about my Grandpa and "stop crying" or "using it as an excuse to cry" when it was 2 DAYS after he passed? Well, I can tell you this much... its going to take me a hell of a lot longer (we're talking years longer) to cope with losing him than it will for me to get over YOU. But maybe thats because it took me about 20 seconds to realize I was done with you. Good bye.
You know what? I stayed on the phone with mike bourne for a VERY long time today... and we talked and I LOVED every minute of it. We do that a lot. Almost every day. And I talk to mike gongol online every single day and if I needed something I can ALWAYS call him. He makes me happy and I look forward to talking to him every day. And I talk to matt bentel in science all the time, and online. and I really like having him around. I've found that we like a lot of the same things, and he's always listening. He's never too tired to talk to me... he enjoys every word that comes out of my mouth because he's a real friend. And Mike Mashashasha talks to me all the time and I think he's one of the cockiest guys I know and I LOVE it so much I want to hug him all the time. And when mike and larry and lauren and casey came over today I didn't think ONCE about whether or not you'd want me to hang out with them, and when i made plans for mike bourne to come to my house with no one else so we could hang out in my room ALONE I didn't think about you at all. and when i told mike gongol I couldn't wait until we got out of school for jr. exchange so I could hang out with him all day. And I WILL. And if I need a hug and I see Tony in the hallway, I'll hug him because I don't care and if I want to go to a fucking concert and have fun I WILL. Contrary to what YOU think... Going to a concert is NOT cheating. Like the time I went to battle of the bands... and you got mad because I was STANDING by guys. That's not cheating, thats called having a LIFE, and NORMAL would be if I talked to them... but I didn't because I felt bad. I dont understand how by "just being there" I was "cheating." Even if it means my ex boyfriend has to carry me out again. Because HE won't get mad at me for passing out, you will. And if I want to go over to someones house and you don't know them then GET OVER IT because this is MY life and I'm FILLING MY LIFE with people who RESPECT ME. I have enough common sense not to be around people who would hurt me. How stupid do you think I am? You might say I don't have pride well FUCK YOU. You're too much of a little boy to understand what pride is. You want to hang up on me because I think PRIDE is something different from what YOU think it is then go ahead and DO IT. I've got news for you buddy, pride is intangible... therefore... the way it feels for everyone is DIFFERENT. Oh, good one. Here, let me give you the definition GORGEOUS
a : inordinate self-esteem : CONCEIT b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect c : delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship
Go ahead and tell me again that people in napervile don't understand what PRIDE is. dear god, most of the kids have TOO much pride. Didn't I say it was confidence and self-esteem? but thats okay! be a little bitch. run away from your mistakes. the biggest mistake you EVER made was saying those disgusting things you did today, and yesterday and every other day for the past couple of months. And how DARE you have the audacity to ask me how long it would take me to get over my Grandfathers death? You must be the most sick and twisted individual I have EVER met. You want to say that all the kids I'm friends with have no pride? You want to tell me they don't know what pride is? ah, allow me to assure you they are more deserving of PRIDE and RESPECT than you'll EVER be. I want to meet people... and I want someone who can respect my desire to build relationships with those people. Not someone who will discourage me for making an attempt to meet someone they don't know yet. If you were HALF the man I wanted you'd be able to SUCK IT UP and deal with the fact that I have a life and just because I enjoy it doesn't mean I'm not trustworthy. I'm the most trustworthy person you'll ever meet, and I owe it all to people like you who show me how BAD it sucks to have a selfish jerk who is too insecure to respect you in your life. I told mike bourne what you said... I told him what you said and how you held that against me. He said you're wrong, he said that its not true, and HE LISTENED while I cried. WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU? When I told Tony about what happened he told me to NEVER go back. I believe his exact words were "the second I met him I saw a long long rode of bad times... dont EVER go back." And I defended you. Can ANYONE believe that?! I DEFENDED the jerk. Well my days of defending your pathetic excuse for words worth listening to are OVER. And at snowball, when I put my pillow on brians lap and i cried... and he let me. I DIDN'T FEEL BAD. Because to you, it was the ultimate sin, to ME and EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM it was nothing, I hardly even noticed brian there. Maybe if you didn't spend so much time SUFFOCATING me I wouldn't have the desire to get away from you. Maybe you should realize that I called it off a long time ago, and until you can grow up and get out of your narrow minded naive "I'm the almight knowing everything tough man/God" stage, STAY AWAY FROM ME. Because I've got better people in my life, and people who I want to get to know. You're SO incredibly lucky I haven't told people some of the other things you've said. because they would hate you forever. And I wouldn't blame them. but I'm too EMBARRASSED to tell them. How could you be selfish enough to expect me to make a normal conversation with you more important than the death of my Poppy just so you could YELL at me with out me being OVER TIRED or UPSET? You do realize thats EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID... don't you? How long will it be before I can "get over" being upset about my Grandpa and "stop crying" or "using it as an excuse to cry" when it was 2 DAYS after he passed? Well, I can tell you this much... its going to take me a hell of a lot longer (we're talking years longer) to cope with losing him than it will for me to get over YOU. But maybe thats because it took me about 20 seconds to realize I was done with you. Good bye.