hate the name of this journal but
I want a blogger. Maybe. Or just a new name, since this one was created in my 8th grade angst days.
Notice: This wasn't written for anyone to read, but its okay if you do.
& I'm amazed I remembered my password to this thing on my first try.
And now that I'm writing I don't have anything to say. I went to the movies with my sister tonight, and we saw Invictus. It was interesting, not amazing but not a waste either. It was also the first time I paid for my own movie ticket and popcorn at the Randolph movies in years. And that is no exaggeration. 99% of that is because of Kyle, and holy crap have we been dating for a long time. I love him and I'm happy but I never expected this to happen to me, I had such horrible horrible luck with guys in the past, with nothing I could remotely call a real relationship and then boom 3 yrs and what? 2 months. Its just surreal, still. But getting back on track, "Invictus" was names so after a poem by William Ernest Henley (curtosy of wikipedia), and I feel like I've heard the poem before,but whatever, if I had or not it was a good poem & once again curtosy of wikipedia here it is:
Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
how charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul
I like it alot. Especially the last two lines, they are very inspirational. In the movie, Nelson Mandela gave this poem to the captain Rugby player, which in real life he actually gave him a Roosevelt speech or something else of that sort. But I guess he really did keep this poem with him when he sat in jail for 27 years (also from wikipedia, i could never have known these facts on my own).
And even though I'm rotting from being home since Tuesday night with very minimal excursions, and no work (yet, athough i would prefer it), It makes me feel a little better. All I have pretty much done is watch a sinful amount of Secret Life of the American Teenager. I love that show, because its so blatantly bad its good, and because although its a horrible extremely exaggerated show it is kind of realistic. I mean I did not have many (or any) 15 year old pregnant friends (well... thats debatable If i remember correctly, but it wasn't a full pregnancy nonetheless), and kids don't show up at each others houses before school (that would be 6 am??) or when people give birth they actually sweat and probably alot, but little things about it are realistic. In high school, and college for that matter, you have that one friend that is more...uhhh... "experienced" than the others, and the way kids dress is much more realistic, and that just makes it all the more relatable. And kids do go through those kinds of experiences, deaths of parents, early pregnancies, abuse, and issues with sex, just not all at once (usually) and with such high frequencies!
I remember being younger and watching the movie Thirteen and how realistic that was. Obviously not for me, but it seemed so much like the lives of certain middle school friends I had. And to me it was a warning: dont do drugs and have random sexcapades. But those girls who it reminded me so much of...seemed to idolize it and their behaviors just got worse and worse. It scares me how already old friends I haven't talked to in years have changed. Everyday i find out someone I knew from back in the day is pregnant, or this or that. Its crazy how people you could be close with become strangers, and It scares me that this will just keep happening.
Notice: This wasn't written for anyone to read, but its okay if you do.
& I'm amazed I remembered my password to this thing on my first try.
And now that I'm writing I don't have anything to say. I went to the movies with my sister tonight, and we saw Invictus. It was interesting, not amazing but not a waste either. It was also the first time I paid for my own movie ticket and popcorn at the Randolph movies in years. And that is no exaggeration. 99% of that is because of Kyle, and holy crap have we been dating for a long time. I love him and I'm happy but I never expected this to happen to me, I had such horrible horrible luck with guys in the past, with nothing I could remotely call a real relationship and then boom 3 yrs and what? 2 months. Its just surreal, still. But getting back on track, "Invictus" was names so after a poem by William Ernest Henley (curtosy of wikipedia), and I feel like I've heard the poem before,but whatever, if I had or not it was a good poem & once again curtosy of wikipedia here it is:
Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
how charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul
I like it alot. Especially the last two lines, they are very inspirational. In the movie, Nelson Mandela gave this poem to the captain Rugby player, which in real life he actually gave him a Roosevelt speech or something else of that sort. But I guess he really did keep this poem with him when he sat in jail for 27 years (also from wikipedia, i could never have known these facts on my own).
And even though I'm rotting from being home since Tuesday night with very minimal excursions, and no work (yet, athough i would prefer it), It makes me feel a little better. All I have pretty much done is watch a sinful amount of Secret Life of the American Teenager. I love that show, because its so blatantly bad its good, and because although its a horrible extremely exaggerated show it is kind of realistic. I mean I did not have many (or any) 15 year old pregnant friends (well... thats debatable If i remember correctly, but it wasn't a full pregnancy nonetheless), and kids don't show up at each others houses before school (that would be 6 am??) or when people give birth they actually sweat and probably alot, but little things about it are realistic. In high school, and college for that matter, you have that one friend that is more...uhhh... "experienced" than the others, and the way kids dress is much more realistic, and that just makes it all the more relatable. And kids do go through those kinds of experiences, deaths of parents, early pregnancies, abuse, and issues with sex, just not all at once (usually) and with such high frequencies!
I remember being younger and watching the movie Thirteen and how realistic that was. Obviously not for me, but it seemed so much like the lives of certain middle school friends I had. And to me it was a warning: dont do drugs and have random sexcapades. But those girls who it reminded me so much of...seemed to idolize it and their behaviors just got worse and worse. It scares me how already old friends I haven't talked to in years have changed. Everyday i find out someone I knew from back in the day is pregnant, or this or that. Its crazy how people you could be close with become strangers, and It scares me that this will just keep happening.