extreme depression
I haven't updated in so long.
Things are really hard right now, unbearably so. I don't even know why. I hate myself. Part of me just wants to end it all, but I won't. I am a complete fuck up. I keep crying lately. My mind is not working properly. Pills don't even seem to help. I wish I knew what would help. I wish I was a better person. I wish I was smarter. My life is going downhill and I can't seem to do anything but watch. Watch as my life falls apart. Depression is going to be the death of me. I'm 18. I shouldn't be like this. I feel so helpless. I just want an escape. I don't understand myself. My OCD is terrible along with my depression. I need help. I shouldn't need help. I should be able to fix my life up for myself. But I just fuck things up. I don't know how I can make things better. I wish I had the answers.
-Marishka-
Things are really hard right now, unbearably so. I don't even know why. I hate myself. Part of me just wants to end it all, but I won't. I am a complete fuck up. I keep crying lately. My mind is not working properly. Pills don't even seem to help. I wish I knew what would help. I wish I was a better person. I wish I was smarter. My life is going downhill and I can't seem to do anything but watch. Watch as my life falls apart. Depression is going to be the death of me. I'm 18. I shouldn't be like this. I feel so helpless. I just want an escape. I don't understand myself. My OCD is terrible along with my depression. I need help. I shouldn't need help. I should be able to fix my life up for myself. But I just fuck things up. I don't know how I can make things better. I wish I had the answers.
-Marishka-