It's been a while...
Sigh. So, I must admit, it has been quite sometime. I've finally graduated high school and I'm moving onto bigger (but not necessarily better) things.
This past year I had been saying "I can't wait to get out of this place and go to college!" but you know, going to college won't solve anything. If anything, it has made a lot of things harder for me. It's finally hitting me that I'm leaving a place that has been so natural and so common and just everything to me for something I know absolutely nothing about. I hate this feeling of uncertainty. And I hate going into something that in all honesty, I don't want to go into.
I'm really not ready for all or any of this. I wouldn't mind the new people if it wasn't for the fact that some of the people I've become so close with are now gone (or will be).
I truly feel like I've been dumped by a long time love and now I have to start all over again. It's like you fall into this life and then it's pulled from underneath you and you start all over again. Kind of like being born again. I mean, I could be anyone or anything I want to be now because I'm starting over, it's like having a second chance at life. But the thing is, I'm damn well happy with who I am and I guess I'm just afraid other people won't be. Yes, I know, who cares about what others thing, right? The thing is, it would be a nice thing to make a few friends here and there over the next four or so years.
Sigh...I'm just rambling...I'm just not ready to leave certain things behind, and drop the things I love. I mean, it's marching band season...and there isn't one in sight except the one I used to belong to.
This past year I had been saying "I can't wait to get out of this place and go to college!" but you know, going to college won't solve anything. If anything, it has made a lot of things harder for me. It's finally hitting me that I'm leaving a place that has been so natural and so common and just everything to me for something I know absolutely nothing about. I hate this feeling of uncertainty. And I hate going into something that in all honesty, I don't want to go into.
I'm really not ready for all or any of this. I wouldn't mind the new people if it wasn't for the fact that some of the people I've become so close with are now gone (or will be).
I truly feel like I've been dumped by a long time love and now I have to start all over again. It's like you fall into this life and then it's pulled from underneath you and you start all over again. Kind of like being born again. I mean, I could be anyone or anything I want to be now because I'm starting over, it's like having a second chance at life. But the thing is, I'm damn well happy with who I am and I guess I'm just afraid other people won't be. Yes, I know, who cares about what others thing, right? The thing is, it would be a nice thing to make a few friends here and there over the next four or so years.
Sigh...I'm just rambling...I'm just not ready to leave certain things behind, and drop the things I love. I mean, it's marching band season...and there isn't one in sight except the one I used to belong to.