Comments | xmouth_on_legsx: Tread But Lightly (In These Cruel Shoes)

lilacfree in xmouth_on_legsx

Tread But Lightly (In These Cruel Shoes)

Oct 26, 2006 00:51

A story set during Castrovalva looking at the start of Tegan and Nyssa's friendship.
Rated G and totally unbeta'd so constructive criticism is extremely welcome.

( Read Here )

Comments 4

amber2 October 26 2006, 20:41:07 UTC

Love the line;

"Halfway up a cliff was an odd place for an Australian stewardess and a Traken princess to become friends, but it worked for them."

... I'm thinking in the fictional world of DW ...it may just have happened like that.

azarsuerte October 27 2006, 01:46:11 UTC

Oh, that is lovely. Achingly so.

caroly_214 October 27 2006, 04:04:26 UTC

I really loved this. I've seen very few 5th Doctor episodes, but in the ones I have seen, there have been very few scenes showing Nyssa and Tegan as friends. So I really liked this, because they are so different and somewhat unlikely friends. I thought your characterization was perfect.

Event One: dealt with. Flying the TARDIS? A piece of cake. Toting a Time Lord in a box? No problem.

The cliff didn’t stand a chance.

I loved that line. It really seemed to fit Tegan. And knowing her, the cliff really didn't stand a chance. :-)

And as for constructive criticism, I'm a grammar freak, and I didn't notice any problems there. I thought your pacing was good and you balanced both characters well. The only thing I could think of to change would perhaps be more reactions to each other's stories, but I like it the way it is, keeping it simple and the focus more on the stories. (Sorry if that's more than you wanted, but I'm a compulsive editor and can't really help it. :-) I hope it helps).

lilacfree October 28 2006, 22:10:50 UTC

Thanks, I'm glad you and others like it. I might try to tie the bits in together a bit more, because one of my favorite ideas was Nyssa = Little Mermaid, because it does seem like her, that she has to live with that pain forever--of being the last of her kind.