Getting old
WARNING! This is me ranting. Feel free to not read. I just wanna write something somewhere.
I'm turning 25 in just a couple of days.
Twenty five.
A QUARTER OF A CENTURY!
I've realized I'm getting old. In five days I will be closer to thirty rather than twenty.
I'm still in school.
My classmates are mostly 18 going on 19 with only three other people being over twenty. Two guys, 22 and 25, and a girl at 21.
I still feel so much older than them all. Cause I'm no longer 24. 25 seems so much older. And even with the guy the same age as me, he's a guy so he's naturally younger than me even if we're the same age.
It makes me a little insecure. I don't know how to act with japanese teenagers nor how to talk to them.
I'm no longer interested in using slang when I speak, I find it more fun to use large and difficult words and correct grammar.
And then there's all the other stuff.
Is it still ok for me to wear the same clothes teenagers wear? Sure I live in Tokyo and cute is always ok, but still. I am not japanese.
And I still have posters on my walls. I'm in fandoms and freaking out over stupid things and squealing and basically behaving like a thirteen year old.
I think it's okay.
But there's always that doubt in the back of my mind. All my friends back home are in steady relationships, or have kids, or are married etc. They've done all their dating and stuff already. They've settled down and they have decently or even good paying jobs.
I'M STILL IN SCHOOL!
I've never had a steady job, only part time. I can't say that I've ever been on a real date.
On one hand I don't mind getting older really, but at the same time it's a little scary stepping over the edge.
I feel like I want to do something special since I'm becoming a quarter of a century old and all, but how? and what? and with whom?
I'm not much of a party person and the only one who managed to drag me out of my room is no longer living here. I've got my best friend here yes and we're going to my favorite resturant to eat. But still, I have school in the day and then we go eat. That's it. We do that once or twice every week so its not all that special. With the exception that we're traveling a little longer just to eat but yeah.
Out of all my closest friends only one lives in the same city as me.
Seeing as there's a lack of people giving me gifts I've gotten some for myself. Will get the first one come tuesday. Then possibly the second one on my birthday, but that could also turn into ash since it's a lottery thing.
I could also potentially have my dreams crushed this week (or next week, depending on how fast they are) if my country decides to not grant me a studentloan.
In other words, I've got a rather exciting week ahead of me. Either it'll be amazing, or it'll be good but a little sad (if the lottery is not a hit), or it'll be a complete disaster.
I'm turning 25 in just a couple of days.
Twenty five.
A QUARTER OF A CENTURY!
I've realized I'm getting old. In five days I will be closer to thirty rather than twenty.
I'm still in school.
My classmates are mostly 18 going on 19 with only three other people being over twenty. Two guys, 22 and 25, and a girl at 21.
I still feel so much older than them all. Cause I'm no longer 24. 25 seems so much older. And even with the guy the same age as me, he's a guy so he's naturally younger than me even if we're the same age.
It makes me a little insecure. I don't know how to act with japanese teenagers nor how to talk to them.
I'm no longer interested in using slang when I speak, I find it more fun to use large and difficult words and correct grammar.
And then there's all the other stuff.
Is it still ok for me to wear the same clothes teenagers wear? Sure I live in Tokyo and cute is always ok, but still. I am not japanese.
And I still have posters on my walls. I'm in fandoms and freaking out over stupid things and squealing and basically behaving like a thirteen year old.
I think it's okay.
But there's always that doubt in the back of my mind. All my friends back home are in steady relationships, or have kids, or are married etc. They've done all their dating and stuff already. They've settled down and they have decently or even good paying jobs.
I'M STILL IN SCHOOL!
I've never had a steady job, only part time. I can't say that I've ever been on a real date.
On one hand I don't mind getting older really, but at the same time it's a little scary stepping over the edge.
I feel like I want to do something special since I'm becoming a quarter of a century old and all, but how? and what? and with whom?
I'm not much of a party person and the only one who managed to drag me out of my room is no longer living here. I've got my best friend here yes and we're going to my favorite resturant to eat. But still, I have school in the day and then we go eat. That's it. We do that once or twice every week so its not all that special. With the exception that we're traveling a little longer just to eat but yeah.
Out of all my closest friends only one lives in the same city as me.
Seeing as there's a lack of people giving me gifts I've gotten some for myself. Will get the first one come tuesday. Then possibly the second one on my birthday, but that could also turn into ash since it's a lottery thing.
I could also potentially have my dreams crushed this week (or next week, depending on how fast they are) if my country decides to not grant me a studentloan.
In other words, I've got a rather exciting week ahead of me. Either it'll be amazing, or it'll be good but a little sad (if the lottery is not a hit), or it'll be a complete disaster.