///
So lets face it, this was never what you wanted
But I know that its fun to pretend
Our blank stares and empty threats
Are all I have…
They're all I have…
So drown me.. if you can
Or we could just have conversation
and I fall, I fall, I faulter.
I found you before I drift away
Now you still speak of day old hate
Though your whole world has gone up into flames
And isn't it great to find that you're really worth nothing
And how safe it is to feel safe
So drown me and if you can
Or we could just have conversation
And I fall, I fall, I faulter.
But I found you before I drift away
The things we do just to stay alive.
The things we do just to keep ourselves alive.
_____________________
Apparently the way I live screams for help.
I'm so tired of the repression and guilt I feel for NOTHING.
I live with a spotlight on only the parts of me I wish never happened, but only because they seem to be pointed out over and over and over again.
I need to find a place where these people don't surround me. I can't turn time back and I won't change, but I can certainly do some crowd control.
jklsfjfjkfdsjklsdajklfsd.
The things I DO just to stay alive.
they shouldn't shame me.
=[
Living around my family makes me feel trapped. I feel as if I am being held, not being welcome. I have been committed into an institution of their crooked ways and disguised lies. Perfect for them, and nothing wrong when applied to their lives. But for me, if i endure this much longer I feel as if I will turn on myself.
I feel like exploding.
I feel like crying.
I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.
My problem is I live internally, everything I keep close to me is buried underneath my chest. I do not wear my heart on my sleeve.
And to others, I come across very cold and complacent.
These secrets are going to explode through my chest, and anger is going to pass my lips. Because I do not know how else to ariculate the hurt I feel.
I just wish someone would consider how I actually feel sometimes, not the feelings that I convey.
But i guess that is asking for the impossible.
Men do not seek the deepness of a soul, they only touch what they can feel. They only feel what they can see, not what is beyond them.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO FROM HERE.
i have never felt so alone inside myself.
But I know that its fun to pretend
Our blank stares and empty threats
Are all I have…
They're all I have…
So drown me.. if you can
Or we could just have conversation
and I fall, I fall, I faulter.
I found you before I drift away
Now you still speak of day old hate
Though your whole world has gone up into flames
And isn't it great to find that you're really worth nothing
And how safe it is to feel safe
So drown me and if you can
Or we could just have conversation
And I fall, I fall, I faulter.
But I found you before I drift away
The things we do just to stay alive.
The things we do just to keep ourselves alive.
_____________________
Apparently the way I live screams for help.
I'm so tired of the repression and guilt I feel for NOTHING.
I live with a spotlight on only the parts of me I wish never happened, but only because they seem to be pointed out over and over and over again.
I need to find a place where these people don't surround me. I can't turn time back and I won't change, but I can certainly do some crowd control.
jklsfjfjkfdsjklsdajklfsd.
The things I DO just to stay alive.
they shouldn't shame me.
=[
Living around my family makes me feel trapped. I feel as if I am being held, not being welcome. I have been committed into an institution of their crooked ways and disguised lies. Perfect for them, and nothing wrong when applied to their lives. But for me, if i endure this much longer I feel as if I will turn on myself.
I feel like exploding.
I feel like crying.
I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.
My problem is I live internally, everything I keep close to me is buried underneath my chest. I do not wear my heart on my sleeve.
And to others, I come across very cold and complacent.
These secrets are going to explode through my chest, and anger is going to pass my lips. Because I do not know how else to ariculate the hurt I feel.
I just wish someone would consider how I actually feel sometimes, not the feelings that I convey.
But i guess that is asking for the impossible.
Men do not seek the deepness of a soul, they only touch what they can feel. They only feel what they can see, not what is beyond them.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO FROM HERE.
i have never felt so alone inside myself.