the one that got away
have you ever wondered if there was something special between you and another person, yet neither one of you took it that next step and then you lost them forever? well thats kinda how im feeling right now.
see, a few years back i worked overnights at walmart doing stocking. there was a new member added to our crew one night and for the first few days everyone seemed to be anti-social to him cuz god forbid anyone allows someone new to their crew right? lol. anyways, one day we were taking our "lunch" break and he asked to borrow a buck for a soda and from then on we started talking..alot. he was cute, and had the most beautiful eyes id ever seen. i was "involved" and the time so i didnt let myself act too friendly, plus he was married..even tho she lived in california and he was only maybe 21 or so. well, over the next few weeks we spent alot of time "flirting" during work. whenever one of us would be within site of the other he would whistle to get my attention just to wave to me and smile. it made me giggle. i even remember one time we were sitting in the break room (he sat across the table from me) and we both had our hands on the table and i poked his hand and it turned into some finger/hand holding thing and i felt that little feeling inside that made me realize i was probably blushing a little. eventually the random waves hello turned into hugs whenever we got the chance. one day when i needed a ride to the train station after work he drove me there and say with me for about half an hour or so. we talked about music and stuff to hide the awkwardness. we exchanged neck rubs and i think we held hands while sitting in the car too but its hard to remember the details. i think i saw him maybe one or two times after that day. he had multiple jobs and just couldnt handle having the night shift on top of all that and didnt show up for work one day..after that, he was fired.
to this day i still think about him and wonder what if.. and it kills me. im trying to figure out a way to get ahold of his address or number but i dont wanna come off as a weird stalker type. i know there was something special there and i just wanna see if..i dunno. i guess i just wanna get back in touch with him and see what happens from there. *sigh* lets hope someone on myspace can help me track him down..or someone can hack walmarts files hahaha. god, i hate when i get all depressed and shit cuz i start thinking about the randomest shit.
thanks for listening, it means alot <3