I guess its a cycle.

[xmishyx]

So leading up to going away things were good back home, I was in a good frame of mind, and was sad to go, pretty satisfied with things that were happening. While being away you slowly realize why you're glad you're not at home. Yet you still miss things, little things that you take for granted I realize, certain people.

Which i guess it makes you appreciate it so much more when you get back to it and have it in your life again. Then once you're home for long enough, and you think that things may have changed while you were gone, because you were gone, or because others have grown up, and you learn to care less.

After the honeymoon period is over, you realize that nothing has changed, no one has changed, you just weren't there to have to deal with it. You even realize that even though you think you've changed in the past few months, in actual fact you haven't. And you still have the same habits, and the same insecurities involving the same people and you fall into the same habits. ANd it makes you realise why you wanted to escape in the first place. So here begins the cycle again.

I want to escape again, I need to escape again. In a hope that eventually I will change or everything around me will.