(no subject)
so, my sister and i go through phases, i guess you could say. where we are really close and can talk about anything, then we don't talk for a long time and get annoyed with each other very easily, and back and forth. right now we're at the really close stage. but even at the annoyed easily stage, we both know we can talk to each other if we want to. well, she and i were talking today, and she asked if i was okay after the whole relationship ending thing. and i told her that i was fine. then i texted her a while later after i'd been thinking about it and said "actually, he and i were an item for over six months.. i'm really not that okay..." and then we started talking. and i told her how my mom thinks i'm a whore because i've kissed three guys, and done anything more than that with two, and she doesn't believe me when i tell her i'm still a virgin. then my sister got all pissed off at our mom and told me not to listen to her because she's jealous that i can get some and she can't. she's really more of a mom to me than my real mom. when i got in her car she asked if i needed new shoes because mine are all holes. there's more missing material than actual shoe, pretty much. i told her i'd be fine and she said i was going to freeze my toes off if i hadn't already and she wanted to buy me shoes. but i felt bad so i told her i where those to work, and i have my uggs for school.. too bad she knows the condition of my uggs. hahaha. so i guess i might get a pair of new shoes. :] maybe she'll get me converse! finally! that'd be sick. it's really nice having her, but i feel really bad because she buys me a lot of things and spends a lot of money on me. like, on my sixteenth birthday, she was the only one to buy me something. she bought me my almost one hundred dollar semi formal dress, and a DVD, and took me out to dinner... my mom bought me a ten dollar pair of shoes. my mom really fucking pisses me off. she's driving me fucking crazy. she keeps bitching at me, i'm not going to survive these next two and a half weeks. i'm going to fucking shoot her down. she makes me so fucking angry. i can't wait to be un-grounded so i can get out of this fucking house again. i'm like on the verge of tears she pisses me off so much. she fills me with this like... unhealthy rage. and she's holdjing winter carnival over my head. i'm grounded through the ball, and i cry everytime i think about it because it's my favorite dance, i've had the dress and shoes forever, but she's not letting be go, because ohh, i will still have four more days of groundation left. i can't take much more of this. i'm so pissed off. this house makes me so angry. i can't stand her anymore. just 399 more days until i'm eightteen and can get the fuck out of here. seriously.