when you said you were falling apart, i thought you meant that you were falling apart
oh god where do i begin. so much has changed yet so much is exactly the same. i dont know. it seems like im failing at life but im so happy. or maybe its just that time is passing and i see it go by, and i am sad to see it go.
28th - after a night of crazy emotions, i was unprepared to end vacation. oh well. after a long and angry rehearsal, me and elise rushed back here to drop stuff off and then get picked up by her dad. back to her house to change and have dinner [delicious! by the way] with her family. including nate which was awkward x a million, especially when i saw him in class the next day.
anyways, we then proceeded to drive to lowell to the taste of chaos tour. the band were amazing. but it seems they were a bit hardcore. we got there - saw liz and danielle for a bit - then got into the crowd for killswitch engage. wicked fun but really tiring trying not to get seperated. then for my chemical romance, the crowds poured in on the edges, pushing us in, which we thought not much of at the time. but as soon as the music began, we knew we were in trouble.
we then proceeded to get out of the pit, only to find that it was harder than it seems. thank you x a million to random kid in the blue shirt who saved me from being crushed. got seperated from elise. tried to push my way out. got punched in the face by some asshole who i now hate. got out. waited and waited for what seemed like hours for elise. she finally got out. with no purse. then began the rest of the night in which we didnt really pay attention to the bands, but spent the rest of the night looking for her purse. containing her really expensive digital camera. after much talking and yelling and angry dad-niss, by the end of the night we had retreived all that was really important - except the camera. im so sorry, dear. i really wish i could help somehow. home in the snow. driving down 495 with massive trucks. got back really late, but somehow with the adrenaline i couldnt sleep. read a magazine. sleep around 2.
1st - loong day. mcdonalds with alex for lunch. coffee then rehearsal - meh. then to quizno's with alex, elise, and caitlin for dinner break. discovered the most delicious soup EVER - broccoli and cheese!!! dropped off caitlin while listening to that "jack and diane" song and i thought alex was going to kill someone. hahaha. then back for more rehearsal even though very few people were there. then im sure i dropped people off at home but i dont remember that far back.
2nd - EARLY RELEASE. went to CVS to drop off pictures then to friendlys with bri for lunch. surrounded by couples. saw an old man with a nametag saying "kooch". oh god. i love that girl to death <33. then back home for an hour or so. before going for coffee then to angry rehearsal. dropped off elise and caitlin. then me and janine decided to go crazy in milford. went to CVS. got candy and my pictures. "that man took his... i mean mine... i mean his coupons!". sat in the parking lot and laughed and were happy. "sarah looks pretty, but wtf is up with alex's face?!?!" gangster picture needs to be copied ASAP.
then we ventured to dollar party, and let me just tell you, that is in fact a party for your dollar. "bingo mama", "brr is cucking fold outside!", dino piggie banks, "you know your day is bad, when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better". hahahaha. then we went to the himilayan store. silent walking around looking at all the gorgeous things. then back out "you know how there are some stores that you have to talk quiet in, but who fucking cares about dollar party?!?". back to have another party, but this time for janine's dollar. then to mcdonalds to sit in the corner and laugh our asses off at the bilingual coloring books. the distrustful kangaroo, jumping on the bed... with no bed, nut lover, the WORST CRAYONS EVER, "just feel the fucking page, mandy". then back home. i love that girl like mad crazy. this is the day we discovered that we were going to get married in vermont. :)
3rd - school. lunch with alex finn? probably. then coffee and rehearsal per usual. went to wendys with elise and caitlin. "if you had babies with a robot... they'd be half metal". wow. i really need to work on that filtering your thoughts thing. then lots of venting and emo-niss but still massive amounts of love. <333. then i felt bad for rushing but i needed to get home. cause hey, i then had to do a massive english paper that was actually due that day but i told her id email it to her. then exhausted sleeping.
4th - WICKED long day that is going to take forever to recount. so get ready. school. coffee. rehearsal. then dropped off christian, who was about to have a fit because he needed to get to band practice. went to get free coffee and visit lauren at work with janine. went to her house, got money and "THE ACADEMY IS..." cd which i have now burned and im fucking in love with. but its always on in my car and christian hates it hahaha. anyways, we go down 135 to some random gas station in ashland. accidentally go to the full service place and make some kid walk all the way out in the cold, just so i can tell him "im really sorry i meant to go to self-service". eventually we get to salvation army. no luck there. then we almost DIE trying to get to st. vincents. "WHY are you walking across the street right now! dont you understand! get away from me!" st. vincent's rules the world. got the ugliest, most perfect mrs. krebs dress i could find. got a awesome shirt and red sweatshirt. and wonderful janine found me the most perfect mandy shoes ever! cause they're plaid and platform and really really happy. "V can stand for VIXEN".
eventually/finally, get bri. then go to BATTLE OF THE BANDS. so amazing i can even describe. words escape me. so many people were there who i love. and big hearts for everyone who performed. <333 A CALL TO ARMS, KNOXATION, and WALLACE <333 were by far my favorites, for very different reasons. I <333333 x a million to kayla and janine for being groupies and doing the groupie dance!! and sorry christian for attacking you twice and hurting your ulcer. :(. so congrats to everyone there - most especially those i know - christian, knoxy, bill... yeah i think thats it. and im not even going to go into the whole cold shower issue... hahaha. dropped off caitlin. then me bri and janine literally just drove around milford listing every store that was open. wow we are such tools. but i love those girls <333.
5th - again with the long day and good luck reading it. work in the morning with my darling miss bri. aleks, singer alex, alex finn, miles, and random eric came and visited. but he's cool so its all good. made plans. got coffee for me and the lovely miss janine. went to tech. painting things. listening to massive amounts of "the academy is...". pissed off alex and christian. more janine time cause i fucking love her. ATTACK OF THE DEADLY LYRICS!!!! took a break to drive around with alex finn. <33 brothers drive me crazy. came back then me janine and christian sat in the drug store parking lot waiting for eric. "so, do you think he's a upper or lower parking lot kinda guy". stopped off at janine's. tried to get directions. fighting for the computer and drinking juice boxes. <3. then picked up bri. and thus with a full car, we went full speed to norwood. [ps - NOT norwell - yes, aleks i am an idiot <3] christian was my navigator/co-pilot even though he sucked on the way home.
got there just in time to fucking rock out to THEREFORE I AM. you are amazing. then just hung out with everyone while listening to the other bands <33. [including caitlin, who had come with the band :)] <33. got to sit at the band table with aleks during a loss for words. felt wicked cool. then we all shoved ourselves back in the car and did a million point turn to get out of our parking space. thank you to caitlin for directing us. after a long drive back, went to mcdonalds. i felt wicked bad cause everyone [including eric] stayed outside with me. can you say guilt trip? then went in and everyone was quiet except me and janine who were crazy. and kept laughing at inside jokes over and over. sorry guys :). "thank you slave girl" hahah im so sorry christian. <3. went to get back in the car, and the reoccuring conflict between janine and christian over shotgun finally reached full went janine slipped on the ice and hurt herself. hahahaha. i love you anyways, dear. <33 dropped christian and eric off and had random girl talks for the second night in a row. <3
6th - visited lauren at work. got coffee for me and janine. LONG REHEARSAL. dinner break - quizno's with janine christian sarah and alex. <333 massive love for all of them. got my delicious soup once again. "dont throw it away!" "dammit i was trying to be rebellious and it didnt work!" "wait... is it 'please dont throw away the trays' or 'please dont throw the trays away'?" hahaha. christian made me ask for more crackers for my soup. *shakes fist*. then back to the school. and rehearsal went much better. yay for that i guess. then drove christian and janine home. and he "forgot" to take back his sweatshirt. :) <33.
7th - today. block study. marathon with bri lauren and austin. then driving around. then back for psych. after school dropped off jeff then me and janine went to dunkin donuts. <333. then rehearsal. it was fine except for massive pain back issues that i hope will get fixed. i really do. the only thing keeping me up is motrin. dammit. dropped off janine. then massive talks in the car with christian. love you <333 and yes, i know its implied. but maybe we should learn to speak full sentences. even though its clearly not necessary. came home and went to clogging. with painful back spasms. back here to talk to janine who i love so much and i think if you get nothing out of this entry it should be that im so lucky to have her in my life. <333. and i havent even scraped the surface of all our inside jokes, i just cant remember them all. :).
so im very sorry for this fucking novel i just wrote. but i chronicle my life in this fucking journal, so i can look back on it one day and say "wow, so thats what life was like for me back then". i dont know, im a wicked tool. but i love it. :)
<3333333333....
~mandy~
ps. come see the play! i will love you forever. its going to be great.
ps again. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KNOX <3333333333
28th - after a night of crazy emotions, i was unprepared to end vacation. oh well. after a long and angry rehearsal, me and elise rushed back here to drop stuff off and then get picked up by her dad. back to her house to change and have dinner [delicious! by the way] with her family. including nate which was awkward x a million, especially when i saw him in class the next day.
anyways, we then proceeded to drive to lowell to the taste of chaos tour. the band were amazing. but it seems they were a bit hardcore. we got there - saw liz and danielle for a bit - then got into the crowd for killswitch engage. wicked fun but really tiring trying not to get seperated. then for my chemical romance, the crowds poured in on the edges, pushing us in, which we thought not much of at the time. but as soon as the music began, we knew we were in trouble.
we then proceeded to get out of the pit, only to find that it was harder than it seems. thank you x a million to random kid in the blue shirt who saved me from being crushed. got seperated from elise. tried to push my way out. got punched in the face by some asshole who i now hate. got out. waited and waited for what seemed like hours for elise. she finally got out. with no purse. then began the rest of the night in which we didnt really pay attention to the bands, but spent the rest of the night looking for her purse. containing her really expensive digital camera. after much talking and yelling and angry dad-niss, by the end of the night we had retreived all that was really important - except the camera. im so sorry, dear. i really wish i could help somehow. home in the snow. driving down 495 with massive trucks. got back really late, but somehow with the adrenaline i couldnt sleep. read a magazine. sleep around 2.
1st - loong day. mcdonalds with alex for lunch. coffee then rehearsal - meh. then to quizno's with alex, elise, and caitlin for dinner break. discovered the most delicious soup EVER - broccoli and cheese!!! dropped off caitlin while listening to that "jack and diane" song and i thought alex was going to kill someone. hahaha. then back for more rehearsal even though very few people were there. then im sure i dropped people off at home but i dont remember that far back.
2nd - EARLY RELEASE. went to CVS to drop off pictures then to friendlys with bri for lunch. surrounded by couples. saw an old man with a nametag saying "kooch". oh god. i love that girl to death <33. then back home for an hour or so. before going for coffee then to angry rehearsal. dropped off elise and caitlin. then me and janine decided to go crazy in milford. went to CVS. got candy and my pictures. "that man took his... i mean mine... i mean his coupons!". sat in the parking lot and laughed and were happy. "sarah looks pretty, but wtf is up with alex's face?!?!" gangster picture needs to be copied ASAP.
then we ventured to dollar party, and let me just tell you, that is in fact a party for your dollar. "bingo mama", "brr is cucking fold outside!", dino piggie banks, "you know your day is bad, when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better". hahahaha. then we went to the himilayan store. silent walking around looking at all the gorgeous things. then back out "you know how there are some stores that you have to talk quiet in, but who fucking cares about dollar party?!?". back to have another party, but this time for janine's dollar. then to mcdonalds to sit in the corner and laugh our asses off at the bilingual coloring books. the distrustful kangaroo, jumping on the bed... with no bed, nut lover, the WORST CRAYONS EVER, "just feel the fucking page, mandy". then back home. i love that girl like mad crazy. this is the day we discovered that we were going to get married in vermont. :)
3rd - school. lunch with alex finn? probably. then coffee and rehearsal per usual. went to wendys with elise and caitlin. "if you had babies with a robot... they'd be half metal". wow. i really need to work on that filtering your thoughts thing. then lots of venting and emo-niss but still massive amounts of love. <333. then i felt bad for rushing but i needed to get home. cause hey, i then had to do a massive english paper that was actually due that day but i told her id email it to her. then exhausted sleeping.
4th - WICKED long day that is going to take forever to recount. so get ready. school. coffee. rehearsal. then dropped off christian, who was about to have a fit because he needed to get to band practice. went to get free coffee and visit lauren at work with janine. went to her house, got money and "THE ACADEMY IS..." cd which i have now burned and im fucking in love with. but its always on in my car and christian hates it hahaha. anyways, we go down 135 to some random gas station in ashland. accidentally go to the full service place and make some kid walk all the way out in the cold, just so i can tell him "im really sorry i meant to go to self-service". eventually we get to salvation army. no luck there. then we almost DIE trying to get to st. vincents. "WHY are you walking across the street right now! dont you understand! get away from me!" st. vincent's rules the world. got the ugliest, most perfect mrs. krebs dress i could find. got a awesome shirt and red sweatshirt. and wonderful janine found me the most perfect mandy shoes ever! cause they're plaid and platform and really really happy. "V can stand for VIXEN".
eventually/finally, get bri. then go to BATTLE OF THE BANDS. so amazing i can even describe. words escape me. so many people were there who i love. and big hearts for everyone who performed. <333 A CALL TO ARMS, KNOXATION, and WALLACE <333 were by far my favorites, for very different reasons. I <333333 x a million to kayla and janine for being groupies and doing the groupie dance!! and sorry christian for attacking you twice and hurting your ulcer. :(. so congrats to everyone there - most especially those i know - christian, knoxy, bill... yeah i think thats it. and im not even going to go into the whole cold shower issue... hahaha. dropped off caitlin. then me bri and janine literally just drove around milford listing every store that was open. wow we are such tools. but i love those girls <333.
5th - again with the long day and good luck reading it. work in the morning with my darling miss bri. aleks, singer alex, alex finn, miles, and random eric came and visited. but he's cool so its all good. made plans. got coffee for me and the lovely miss janine. went to tech. painting things. listening to massive amounts of "the academy is...". pissed off alex and christian. more janine time cause i fucking love her. ATTACK OF THE DEADLY LYRICS!!!! took a break to drive around with alex finn. <33 brothers drive me crazy. came back then me janine and christian sat in the drug store parking lot waiting for eric. "so, do you think he's a upper or lower parking lot kinda guy". stopped off at janine's. tried to get directions. fighting for the computer and drinking juice boxes. <3. then picked up bri. and thus with a full car, we went full speed to norwood. [ps - NOT norwell - yes, aleks i am an idiot <3] christian was my navigator/co-pilot even though he sucked on the way home.
got there just in time to fucking rock out to THEREFORE I AM. you are amazing. then just hung out with everyone while listening to the other bands <33. [including caitlin, who had come with the band :)] <33. got to sit at the band table with aleks during a loss for words. felt wicked cool. then we all shoved ourselves back in the car and did a million point turn to get out of our parking space. thank you to caitlin for directing us. after a long drive back, went to mcdonalds. i felt wicked bad cause everyone [including eric] stayed outside with me. can you say guilt trip? then went in and everyone was quiet except me and janine who were crazy. and kept laughing at inside jokes over and over. sorry guys :). "thank you slave girl" hahah im so sorry christian. <3. went to get back in the car, and the reoccuring conflict between janine and christian over shotgun finally reached full went janine slipped on the ice and hurt herself. hahahaha. i love you anyways, dear. <33 dropped christian and eric off and had random girl talks for the second night in a row. <3
6th - visited lauren at work. got coffee for me and janine. LONG REHEARSAL. dinner break - quizno's with janine christian sarah and alex. <333 massive love for all of them. got my delicious soup once again. "dont throw it away!" "dammit i was trying to be rebellious and it didnt work!" "wait... is it 'please dont throw away the trays' or 'please dont throw the trays away'?" hahaha. christian made me ask for more crackers for my soup. *shakes fist*. then back to the school. and rehearsal went much better. yay for that i guess. then drove christian and janine home. and he "forgot" to take back his sweatshirt. :) <33.
7th - today. block study. marathon with bri lauren and austin. then driving around. then back for psych. after school dropped off jeff then me and janine went to dunkin donuts. <333. then rehearsal. it was fine except for massive pain back issues that i hope will get fixed. i really do. the only thing keeping me up is motrin. dammit. dropped off janine. then massive talks in the car with christian. love you <333 and yes, i know its implied. but maybe we should learn to speak full sentences. even though its clearly not necessary. came home and went to clogging. with painful back spasms. back here to talk to janine who i love so much and i think if you get nothing out of this entry it should be that im so lucky to have her in my life. <333. and i havent even scraped the surface of all our inside jokes, i just cant remember them all. :).
so im very sorry for this fucking novel i just wrote. but i chronicle my life in this fucking journal, so i can look back on it one day and say "wow, so thats what life was like for me back then". i dont know, im a wicked tool. but i love it. :)
<3333333333....
~mandy~
ps. come see the play! i will love you forever. its going to be great.
ps again. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KNOX <3333333333