May 30, 2007 00:16
it's funny...I feel I should be a lot more upset...angry, or hurt or something. but it's really no shock anymore. you two are probably the fakest people I have ever met in my life. the only thing I keep thinking about it is how sad it is that I'm not at all surprised. you can think what you want, you can talk what you want, but trust me none of it means anything to me. I have nothing to prove to you. luckily I have GOOD friends, you must be completely stupid if you thought I wouldn't find out.
I talked to John for a while last night. this weekend was just.....not good. I have that feeling if I say anything then I'll lose it all. and I'd rather have what I have now then nothing. maybe I want something more...but everytime I think that I shut down.
sometimes I almost wish someone would get through