(no subject)
Swim in the Atlantic Ocean at three in the morning under the moon and the stars and a sky whose limitless immensity is rivaled only by the water in which you wade, and call out to your friend who swims in that nothingness with you, and be something there and then, floating and turning and never staying in one place-be something, together.
Run between the purple shadows of unknown and foreign buildings at twilight. Run with the breeze blowing all about and a good friend beside you, and talk about the things which you’ve seen together. Let the words slip out quickly and quietly between the breath like an afterthought, a staccato soundtrack to some other unsaid thing in the air, some thing that means much more than any words could... and be free, together.
Then, miss somebody so desperately that you feel it in the corners of your eyes like tears, but there are none, and in the top of your throat like something to swallow, but there is nothing. Let the pain of that loneliness keep you awake at night, awake on the side of some freeway somewhere, and let the cars drive by and hiss and whistle and think of all the places they are going to, and of the people they’re going home to, and think of how you are going nowhere and fast. Then call him, and hear his voice like something very real and close and be hurt, together.
They are not swimming in the ocean, and they are not running under the setting sun, and yes, they are missing you, and they are missing you together, but not like the whisper of a passing car. They miss you like a television show that got canceled, or like a store that closed. …And you, you miss them like an old man misses the reflection of his younger self in the mirror, which is not productive, so forget about it and live. Together, lets live.
I'm in a really deep mood, not really sure of what I'm feeling.