shit
i feel like shit, so i decided to use this color today. or this color. and this one. or this....
- today has been really shitty now that i think about it. reading my friend jessica's journal made me sad and i hope she feels better. this morning when i drove to school some love song came on and a lot of emotions went through my head (like there wernt enough already to begin with!) and all of a sudden i just started crying. (it sucks crying while driving because you cant see) i cant take this anymore. its been way too fucking long. i need this person in my life. its like my other half. even though they would totaly disagree. i dont want, but i need them!!! fuck. it hurts so bad. its all i ever think about. i told my psychologist i once i had a boyfriend and blah blah blah, and i tried so hard not to cry when i talked about it. gah!
- today i gave up math... 2 assigments in that 2 years i was in that class. i give up that class entirely. and in government our bill project was due. didnt do it. i fail once again. i am such a failure. i have no ambition what so ever. my report card was C-, C, C, A , A , A-. and those 2 A's are from 2 art classes.. which i dont do jack shit in.
- its wierd how i give up on my school stuff that leads to my future and will carry on forever, but i have not gave up love.......... even though theres nothing i can do about it, but school, there is.
- my grandma got burried with a watch on, and its still ticking away........