My Newest Favorite Song
"Like Toy Soldiers"
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down...
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
[Verse 1]
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
Now Ja said "I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it"
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' Suge
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like fuck it i understand this is business
And this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
[Verse 2]
There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him
Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record
But now he's fucked the game up cuz one of the ways I came up
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'
Well fuck it, that mutherfucker can get it too, fuck him then
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind
We still have soldiers that's on the front line
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have Runyan Ave and who sulked us up in our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered
There ain't words that I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws with the knockin'
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
Yeah, good fucking song...it comes on at Mike and Maurices, loud as hell and nobody says a fucking word until the song is over...plus it's a damn good song.
I just got home from picking up some Mc Donalds with Matt, and got 2 voicemails from Ben. I miss that kid, I sort of wish I had everything I used to have right now, but I had an eating disorder along with the world back then, and I'd rather not visit those days again.
....and this fucking song reminds me of my relationship with those two people so much its almost scary.
"Crazy In Love"
[Other voice]
I Tell myself that I'm doing alright
Nothing else to do tongiht but
To go Crazy, Crazy On You
Lemme go Crazy, Crazy on you
youuuuuuuuu
[Verse 1]
Can't you see what you do to me baby?
You make me crazy, you make me act like a maniac.
I'm like a lunatic, you make me sick
You truly are the only one who can do this to me
You just make me get so crazy.
I go skitzo, I get so insane I just go skitzophrenic
One minute I want to slit your throat
The next I want sex.
You make me crazy,
the way we act like 2 maniacs in the sac
We fuck like 2 jackrabbits
And maybe that's a bad habit.
Cuz the next day we're right back at it
In the same exact pattern
What the fuck is the matter with us
We can't figure out if it's
Lust or it's love
What's sad is what's attracting us to each other
They say that every man grows up to marry his own mother.
Which would explain why you're such a motherfucking bitch
But I stay and still stick it out with you even though I just hit you today
But you deserve it you hit me first and provoked me to choke you
Just cuz I came home late last night crawled in bed and I woke you.
But if there's one thing about you I admire its, baby,
Because you stay with me, maybe, because you're as crazy as I am
Cuz when I look at you I can see an angel in your eyes
But if I look deeper inside I see your freakish little side.
Like a devil in disguise,
You're always full of surprises
Always pullin' devises
Out your personal vibrators and dildos
You fucked yourself so much
You barely feel those anymore
You're only 24 but you're plenty more now.
Sure than those other little hoes
Who just act like little girls
Like they're in middle school still
You're crazy sexy cool, chillin
You play your position
You never step out of line
Even though I stay in your business
You've always kept out of mine.
I wonder whats on your mind
Sometimes they say love is blind
Maybe that's why the first time I dotted your eye
You ain't see a sign.
[with Chorus]
Or maybe you did Maybe you like me and stuff
Maybe cuz we're crazy in loooove
[Chorus]
Crazy Over you
Crazy Over you
Let me go crazy crazy Over youuuuuuuuu
[Verse 2]
You're the ink to my paper
Where my pen is to my pad
The moral, the very fiber
The whole substance to my rap.
You are my reason for being
The meaning of my existence
If it wasn't for you
I would never be able to spit this
These sentences I do wit me I am me
Is you rely on me as much
as I rely on you to inspire me like you do.
You provide me the lighterfluid to fuel my fire
You're my entire supply
Gas, the match, the igniter.
The only way that I am able to stay so stable
Is you're the legs to my table
If you were to break I'd fall on my face.
But I'm always going to make you feel
I don't need you as much as I really need you
So you don't use it to your advantage.
But you're essential to me
You're the air I breathe
I believe if you ever leave me
I'd probably have no reason to be.
You are the Kim to my Marshall
You're the Slim to my Shady
The Dre to my Eminem
The Elaina to my Hailey.
You are the word I am looking for when
I'm trying to describe how I feel inside
And the right one just won't come to my mind.
You're like the pillar that props me up
The beam that supports me
The bitch who never took half,
The wife who never divorced me.
You're like the root to my evil
You let my devil come out me
You let me beat the shit out you
Before you beat the shit out me.
[with Chorus]
And no matter how much
Too much is never enough
Maybe cuz we're crazy in loooove
Yeah....fuck, I'm gonna go take a shower or something...I need to get off my ass and do something today, something halfway useful..Bre is supposed to be coming to get me so yay for that. I'll write more later, when I have something worthwhile to say.
XOXO
-Meredith
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down...
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
[Verse 1]
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
Now Ja said "I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it"
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' Suge
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like fuck it i understand this is business
And this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
[Verse 2]
There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him
Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record
But now he's fucked the game up cuz one of the ways I came up
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'
Well fuck it, that mutherfucker can get it too, fuck him then
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind
We still have soldiers that's on the front line
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have Runyan Ave and who sulked us up in our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered
There ain't words that I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws with the knockin'
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
Yeah, good fucking song...it comes on at Mike and Maurices, loud as hell and nobody says a fucking word until the song is over...plus it's a damn good song.
I just got home from picking up some Mc Donalds with Matt, and got 2 voicemails from Ben. I miss that kid, I sort of wish I had everything I used to have right now, but I had an eating disorder along with the world back then, and I'd rather not visit those days again.
....and this fucking song reminds me of my relationship with those two people so much its almost scary.
"Crazy In Love"
[Other voice]
I Tell myself that I'm doing alright
Nothing else to do tongiht but
To go Crazy, Crazy On You
Lemme go Crazy, Crazy on you
youuuuuuuuu
[Verse 1]
Can't you see what you do to me baby?
You make me crazy, you make me act like a maniac.
I'm like a lunatic, you make me sick
You truly are the only one who can do this to me
You just make me get so crazy.
I go skitzo, I get so insane I just go skitzophrenic
One minute I want to slit your throat
The next I want sex.
You make me crazy,
the way we act like 2 maniacs in the sac
We fuck like 2 jackrabbits
And maybe that's a bad habit.
Cuz the next day we're right back at it
In the same exact pattern
What the fuck is the matter with us
We can't figure out if it's
Lust or it's love
What's sad is what's attracting us to each other
They say that every man grows up to marry his own mother.
Which would explain why you're such a motherfucking bitch
But I stay and still stick it out with you even though I just hit you today
But you deserve it you hit me first and provoked me to choke you
Just cuz I came home late last night crawled in bed and I woke you.
But if there's one thing about you I admire its, baby,
Because you stay with me, maybe, because you're as crazy as I am
Cuz when I look at you I can see an angel in your eyes
But if I look deeper inside I see your freakish little side.
Like a devil in disguise,
You're always full of surprises
Always pullin' devises
Out your personal vibrators and dildos
You fucked yourself so much
You barely feel those anymore
You're only 24 but you're plenty more now.
Sure than those other little hoes
Who just act like little girls
Like they're in middle school still
You're crazy sexy cool, chillin
You play your position
You never step out of line
Even though I stay in your business
You've always kept out of mine.
I wonder whats on your mind
Sometimes they say love is blind
Maybe that's why the first time I dotted your eye
You ain't see a sign.
[with Chorus]
Or maybe you did Maybe you like me and stuff
Maybe cuz we're crazy in loooove
[Chorus]
Crazy Over you
Crazy Over you
Let me go crazy crazy Over youuuuuuuuu
[Verse 2]
You're the ink to my paper
Where my pen is to my pad
The moral, the very fiber
The whole substance to my rap.
You are my reason for being
The meaning of my existence
If it wasn't for you
I would never be able to spit this
These sentences I do wit me I am me
Is you rely on me as much
as I rely on you to inspire me like you do.
You provide me the lighterfluid to fuel my fire
You're my entire supply
Gas, the match, the igniter.
The only way that I am able to stay so stable
Is you're the legs to my table
If you were to break I'd fall on my face.
But I'm always going to make you feel
I don't need you as much as I really need you
So you don't use it to your advantage.
But you're essential to me
You're the air I breathe
I believe if you ever leave me
I'd probably have no reason to be.
You are the Kim to my Marshall
You're the Slim to my Shady
The Dre to my Eminem
The Elaina to my Hailey.
You are the word I am looking for when
I'm trying to describe how I feel inside
And the right one just won't come to my mind.
You're like the pillar that props me up
The beam that supports me
The bitch who never took half,
The wife who never divorced me.
You're like the root to my evil
You let my devil come out me
You let me beat the shit out you
Before you beat the shit out me.
[with Chorus]
And no matter how much
Too much is never enough
Maybe cuz we're crazy in loooove
Yeah....fuck, I'm gonna go take a shower or something...I need to get off my ass and do something today, something halfway useful..Bre is supposed to be coming to get me so yay for that. I'll write more later, when I have something worthwhile to say.
XOXO
-Meredith