(no subject)
So I have been home for all of 4 1/2 hours and I am already bored out of my mind. I miss Joe, kinda a lot which is kind of weird. I mean of course I'm going to miss him but I've been around him honestly almost 24/7 for the past like 5 months. We were alone during the day when he had school or I had class, when we showered, and when we went to the bathroom. Other than that we were together. So I kinda need a break from him, I need some time by myself to be with my friends and family and not have him tagging along or worry about what he's doing and how annoyed he'll be that I left him at my house while I went to hang out with my friends. Not to mention last semester I only saw him weekends. So one would think I'd be kinda used to this and ok with this right? But for some reason I'm not, I really miss him and I'm just wondering what he's up to and I want to call him. Maybe it's just cause it's the first night and it's usually hard the first night but it just feels like this time it won't get easier. It just almost makes me disgusted by myself because it's like I can't be without him for like 3 days? What the hell is wrong with me?
His farewell was than heartwarming and loving. I know that it's a limited amount of time that we both get to be home alone with our friends and family before we go back up to oswego for the rest of the summer but he was almost like pushing me out the door. Well, not exactly. He was just kinda like ok yup bye i love you, hug, ok kiss, ok come on now go. Which a lot of times I would stand there in the driveway and hug and kiss him for hours just to have me stay a little longer, but this time I wasn't I just wanted to get a real goodbye from him and whatnot.
I guess I'm just worried that he's not going to want to be with me anymore and he's not going to want to see me. When I call him he's just so closed off, he doesn't want to talk for a long time, he just wants to say goodnight and that's that. I hate when he goes out with his friends because it's impossible to get in touch with him. He either doesn't have service, or he doesn't pick up, or he won't answer. And when he does answer it's super quick. ANd I just hate when he goes out and gets drunk cause who knows what he'll do then. I know he wouldn't cheat on me or anything, but I don't know I just don't like it.
I dunno I guess I'm just kinda in a funk cause I wasn't around him for so long and then with him again for like ever and then now I'm just like bah I want to be with him. And my eye is bothering me so I'm like freaking out cause it hurts and I want him to be here to take care of me.
I guess I'm just pathetic :(
His farewell was than heartwarming and loving. I know that it's a limited amount of time that we both get to be home alone with our friends and family before we go back up to oswego for the rest of the summer but he was almost like pushing me out the door. Well, not exactly. He was just kinda like ok yup bye i love you, hug, ok kiss, ok come on now go. Which a lot of times I would stand there in the driveway and hug and kiss him for hours just to have me stay a little longer, but this time I wasn't I just wanted to get a real goodbye from him and whatnot.
I guess I'm just worried that he's not going to want to be with me anymore and he's not going to want to see me. When I call him he's just so closed off, he doesn't want to talk for a long time, he just wants to say goodnight and that's that. I hate when he goes out with his friends because it's impossible to get in touch with him. He either doesn't have service, or he doesn't pick up, or he won't answer. And when he does answer it's super quick. ANd I just hate when he goes out and gets drunk cause who knows what he'll do then. I know he wouldn't cheat on me or anything, but I don't know I just don't like it.
I dunno I guess I'm just kinda in a funk cause I wasn't around him for so long and then with him again for like ever and then now I'm just like bah I want to be with him. And my eye is bothering me so I'm like freaking out cause it hurts and I want him to be here to take care of me.
I guess I'm just pathetic :(