dreams into lightning once again
i just ate the most ridiculous amount of E.L. Fudge cookies. like , really, if i told you how many i
ate, you really would not be friends with me. i was on a sugarless diet for about 4 days, and i was doing so well, but once you screw up, you have to go all out. i will go back on it tommorrow.
my mom is in the hospital-- she has been in and out since she was young-- she has had her ovaries and uterus removed, she has had gangrene, she has had so many feet of her intestine cut out, she has had bones taken out of her hip and placed in her neck, and she has had migraines and e. coli. i feel very bad for her cos her life is so sad, and she makes herself unhealthy. she has not eaten or slept since my brother's daughter was born on december 23-- she was so excited she was running on pure adrenaline. she invited bridget to christmas dinner, and i wrote her a card telling her i appreciate her willingness to accept her.
fresca sucks- the job is easy but everyone talks behind everyone else's back. like, fresca only hires trendy girls, and they are all so shallow and self- obsessed. like they'll talk to this one waitress, and be very nice, and then when she leaves they'll all be like "shes such a fatass."
i hate girls who give me a bad name. also, jillian and julie are very nice to my face but fuck me over whenever they have a chance. minimum wage.
my parents think i should wait like a year and a half before moving out, which is better because i have not saved any $$$, and i probably will not until after bridget and i go to canada in may.
i am gonna start dancing again this thursday cos i know if i drop it entirely i will be miserable, and besides, for the rest of my life my biggest regret will always be that i did not become a professional dancer, so i cannot really have kids because my mental health= pushy stage mom.
besides, i want kids for all the wrong reasons. like, my entire life i related better to adults than kids and the only reason i would want kids i because i feel like if you never have kids its selfish.
but i know if i had kids i would resent them, and that in itself is horrible. also, i can't even think about any of that until i get the issue of not knowing my biological mmother out of the way.
if you ever have horrible cramps, motrin pm makes them go away while knocking you out on your ass so you dream about this:
im in the ocean- these birds that look like egrets or swans are wrapping their necks around each other because they are in love. me and bridget try to do it and then these little purple fish line up next to me and one bites me. then jim carrey comes in and tries to drown this girl colleen that i went to grammar school with. she gives me a paper that says DEMOCRACY in the center.
anyway, then i woke up and called louis the elusive x. we talk and he's funny, but he ignores alot of what i have to say and says if we ever would have slept together and i would have gotten pregnant he would have made me have an abortion. which made me realize why we never worked out, that and he just wants a woman who " will give him ass and say she loves him." he also plays computer games like it will mean anything and i just love bridget a hell of a lot more. and girls are better.
ate, you really would not be friends with me. i was on a sugarless diet for about 4 days, and i was doing so well, but once you screw up, you have to go all out. i will go back on it tommorrow.
my mom is in the hospital-- she has been in and out since she was young-- she has had her ovaries and uterus removed, she has had gangrene, she has had so many feet of her intestine cut out, she has had bones taken out of her hip and placed in her neck, and she has had migraines and e. coli. i feel very bad for her cos her life is so sad, and she makes herself unhealthy. she has not eaten or slept since my brother's daughter was born on december 23-- she was so excited she was running on pure adrenaline. she invited bridget to christmas dinner, and i wrote her a card telling her i appreciate her willingness to accept her.
fresca sucks- the job is easy but everyone talks behind everyone else's back. like, fresca only hires trendy girls, and they are all so shallow and self- obsessed. like they'll talk to this one waitress, and be very nice, and then when she leaves they'll all be like "shes such a fatass."
i hate girls who give me a bad name. also, jillian and julie are very nice to my face but fuck me over whenever they have a chance. minimum wage.
my parents think i should wait like a year and a half before moving out, which is better because i have not saved any $$$, and i probably will not until after bridget and i go to canada in may.
i am gonna start dancing again this thursday cos i know if i drop it entirely i will be miserable, and besides, for the rest of my life my biggest regret will always be that i did not become a professional dancer, so i cannot really have kids because my mental health= pushy stage mom.
besides, i want kids for all the wrong reasons. like, my entire life i related better to adults than kids and the only reason i would want kids i because i feel like if you never have kids its selfish.
but i know if i had kids i would resent them, and that in itself is horrible. also, i can't even think about any of that until i get the issue of not knowing my biological mmother out of the way.
if you ever have horrible cramps, motrin pm makes them go away while knocking you out on your ass so you dream about this:
im in the ocean- these birds that look like egrets or swans are wrapping their necks around each other because they are in love. me and bridget try to do it and then these little purple fish line up next to me and one bites me. then jim carrey comes in and tries to drown this girl colleen that i went to grammar school with. she gives me a paper that says DEMOCRACY in the center.
anyway, then i woke up and called louis the elusive x. we talk and he's funny, but he ignores alot of what i have to say and says if we ever would have slept together and i would have gotten pregnant he would have made me have an abortion. which made me realize why we never worked out, that and he just wants a woman who " will give him ass and say she loves him." he also plays computer games like it will mean anything and i just love bridget a hell of a lot more. and girls are better.