(no subject)
I'm listening to Hands Down. I want to be excited. Its new years fuck! This night has so much potential for fun. But its too hard to believe that its gonna be the best day that i can every remember. Because in thruth, it means that another year is gone. And that anothers coming. And as much as i hate this retarted cycle of school and homework and life in general, i dont know what im going to do when its over. When we all have to finally grow up. And as the new year rolls in, i can't help thinking that its only afew more new years away. And i'm terrified.
On the last day....after the handcuffs and awkward interuptions, the long talks and unbroken promises, after i stopped making you stop....i told you that "i never want you to leave". And you said to me "i'll come back and be with you". And you looked so beautiful...as you always do, with your tanned skin and perfect lips, your broad shoulders and magical smile. And you looked at me with your eyes, bluey grey and shining....and i never wanted to be without you. I melt everytime i think about you. But i don't know anymore. I don't know if i can stay here and be by myself indefinately forever, and hold onto nothing but a promise. Cause thats just not my style. And still...not a minute goes by without a feeling of loss. I miss you.