my return to the blog scene
so i have began keeping a handwritten journal. but i have found that it is really hard for me to put my emotions down on paper in the form of words...it kind of creeps me out for some reason. so i have decided to pick back up blogging. i am going to keep the handwritten journal as an account of my daily life. i have a horrible episodic memory as of late, and i am hoping it will help me remember. its kind of turning into an illustrated journal as well.
so i have been torn lately. to be social, or not to be. i have seriously picked up my cell and started to text numerous people today, only to never send the messages. i need to be more social, but it seems that sometimes it seems more like work than fun. i am, for the most part, satisfied with sitting by myself in my apartment all day, doing homework and cleaning and cooking and internet browsing. but sometimes, i get this horrible feeling like i am missing out...its almost like i had a glimmer of an idea that i might actually be in the mood to hang out with someone tonight, but it was just that-a glimmer. part of me thinks it sounds really good to have a friend or 2 over tonight for drinks and movies and hot tub fun. but no, if not sitting by myself in my apartment, i would like to be either shopping by myself or hanging with my man. or with my family. but now i am too far from all my family (when its this freakin cold and snowy outside) to just stop by to hang out.
and i have also found myself being super nostalgic. remember what i used to be like and wanting to go back, but not having the energy. i am also looking back on alot of things that i probably shouldnt be, that always get me thinking and always put me into hermit mode. welll it is probably for the best, i have alot of homework to do. and cleaning. and shopping.
i also am dying to dye my hair. and cut it. but i want to let it grow and be healthy, in which case dying and cutting is out of the question. dying my hair usually gets me out of a funk...what to do now?