Blame is the cure

[xmatt]

So I've been sort of following the anonymous confession board as it becomes more and more heated and hostile. I realize that I have very little of value to add to a discussion of...anything, being a straight white male who grew up in the white-picket-fenced suburbs of a sleepy New England city and heard nary a discussion of sexuality and gender

Comments

[ktclapsforpaul]

What annoys me about all the "fuck you and your..." talk is that it completely damages the argument. Once you've played that card you've left the level of reasonable discussion, and are just attacking. It's hard to acknowledge people's opinions as legitimate when you so strongly disagree with them, but you're not able to have effective discussion when your basis is "I don't care what you say because you're straight/a man/an activist/whatever." It's been Wesleyan's problem since I've been here-- people don't start discussions by shaking their opponents hand, but punching them in the face, and they call that activism.

[piratehall]

hell, they call that *conversation*. I have always gotten the sense that the people who argue like that are more interested in being right than in finding out what is right, and that irks me. Matt, I completely agree with you. I just think that live and let live is a mantra everybody should adopt. Or rather, "for all I know I could be wrong" is a mantra everyone should adopt. The only way for people to stop talking past eachother is for people to actually care what the other person has to say, for one reason or another, rather than simply waiting for their turn to assert.

-Evan

[fucking_shut_up]

except most of the "fuck yous" were posted as responses to things like "i hate queer people" or "i hate trans people". the "conversation" began with an attack, just like you said. but that response was entirely appropriate. because it never was a conversation. it was an assault, and the angry responses came from people who'se identities were being attacked. they were literally fighting for their lives. and that's where the anger came from. and thats healthy. because this board layed bare the need for a safe space. and by the very nature of what goes into making a space safe, what needs to be removed and how entrenched into the fabric of all institutions it is, means that you will always always always have to fight for them. thats the way it is. so all that anger and nastiness toward oppressive behavior is 100% positive. and i hope it gets nastier.

[piratehall]

In this specific situation, perhaps. But come on, you know enough deconstructionist philosophy to know that we can't rely on 100% identification of oppressive behavior, and that carte blanche authorization to be angry and nasty is dangerous regardless of who it's given to.
Counter-attacks are not really a defence, on a long enough timeline.

[piratehall]

Also, I can't spell.

[fucking_shut_up]

and i suppose the corrupt cops at stonewall just weren't being reached properly. that anger was totally uncalled for, rational, abstract, obtuse discourse was the way to go there.

how can one create a space free of oppressive assumptions and mentalities without fighting to create it? these spaces can't just happen.

furthermore, evan, pbbbbbbbbblt. thats me sticking my tongue out at you and making noises.

[ktclapsforpaul]

Woah, hang on here, are you suggesting that verbal violence is equivalent to physical violence and that the two are therefore interchangable

[piratehall]

crap. that was me. up there. the anonymous one.

-E

[ktclapsforpaul]

Way to work the philosophy, Evan. Unlike me, when you're blowing off your homework, you're actually thinking. Woo hoo!

[ktclapsforpaul]

I responded to the similar post you made to this on the board, so hey, I'm outing myself too.

If someone punches you, punch them back. But if someone says "I don't understand why you need to be aggressive in your politics," then responding with a punch and a "fuck you" is not going to get you anywhere. No one will listen to what you have to say if you insult them repeatedly. They will discount your argument and shut down. That's how people work.

And of course if you're surrounded by guns and physical violence, fight back physically. But no one on the Wesleyan livejournal community is going to physically threaten you, lets be honest. They don't even know who you are.