"They said he crashed and burned you know I'll never learn why any boy should die so young."

[xmasbabie86]

So I semi feel like writing, but don't really have the strength to actually continue writing one of my stories. So here I am. I'm watching Dateline, seeing how screwed up people are. A friend of mines younger brother was found dead a few days ago. He was only 21. He fell off a bridge, and they found him later. It's horrible. I can't imagine losing a sibling. I would completely shut down. His viewing is tomorrow, and I'm going with my parents, but I don't know if I'll be able to stay or not. It's too much. I can't get over the fact that he's dead at 21. He had his whole life ahead of him! He was a member of a band with a bunch of guys I graduated with, and was an amazing guitarist. Seeing him lying in a casket tomorrow is really going to shock me. It's hard. When it's an older person its not as hard, they at least had a chance to live some of their life, but not him. It's not fair. I don't understand GOd, if there really is someone up there. How could this type of thing happen to such a great family?

this weekend hasn't been good. Too depressing. It scares me. What if they were me? It makes me want to quit drinking and all the other dumb things I do in my life. Ugh. Hate it.

My new tattoo looks pretty good though, on a positive not. I can't get over this sickness though. The first round of antibiotics barely helped and now I'm worse. And my right ear is completely shut and I can't hear and it hurts! I'm on super strong meds now, so I hope it works. Eh.

Until we meet again.