(no subject)
Two of the patients reach behind their chairs and retrieve two large, well-worn stuffed animals; one is a monkey, one is a blue kitten. They hug the dirty plush toys to their laps and wear great big smiles.
At once, the entire room breaks into an alarming musical chant. "It's Monkey Wonkey time... Monkey Wonkey was a lonely monkey. Then Blue Blue kitten became his friend... now Monkey Wonkey and Blue Blue Kitten want to make friends with... YOU!!!"
And both patients suddenly lunge off their chairs and sprint over to me, giggling and dropping the stuffed animals onto my lap before retuning to their seats like obedient children.
I sit motionless and confused, bathed in applause. Why a song about codependent stuffed animals? And why am I now holding them on my lap? And more essentially, what time is the first flight in the morning? At this point, I would even take a bus, gladly the rear seat next to the toilet.
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Recently, a skinny girl named Sarah piped up in group. "I can only have an orgasm if my girlfriend cuts my legs with a razor blade. The thing is, I feel so inhuman, like I'm just a shell, a husk. But when she cuts me and I bleed and see the blood and taste it on my fingers, well, then I realize I'm human, real."
So she's one of those girls on Lifetime, Television for Women, who stabs her knees with a fork until her parents catch her and take her to an expensive shrink, played by Jaclyn Smith. And while that's moderately entertaining, I still don't understand how any of this directly relates to me. On the plus side, they're feeding me Librium like candy. It gives me the sensation of floating just a few inches above the floor. Its a nice feeling, one I'd like to carry with me when I leave this place. It's great that rehab has turned me on to a new drug.
_______________________________________________________________
Meetings are the Hail Mary's of alcoholics. You can do or almost do anything, feel anything, commit any number of non-sober atrocities, as long as you follow with an AA chaser.
"After I cut off his penis, I sauteed it in rosemary butter and ate it."
"But did you go to a meeting afterward?"
"Yes."
"I wouldn't worry about it, then."
All of the above are from Dry: A Memoir
At once, the entire room breaks into an alarming musical chant. "It's Monkey Wonkey time... Monkey Wonkey was a lonely monkey. Then Blue Blue kitten became his friend... now Monkey Wonkey and Blue Blue Kitten want to make friends with... YOU!!!"
And both patients suddenly lunge off their chairs and sprint over to me, giggling and dropping the stuffed animals onto my lap before retuning to their seats like obedient children.
I sit motionless and confused, bathed in applause. Why a song about codependent stuffed animals? And why am I now holding them on my lap? And more essentially, what time is the first flight in the morning? At this point, I would even take a bus, gladly the rear seat next to the toilet.
______________________________________________________________
Recently, a skinny girl named Sarah piped up in group. "I can only have an orgasm if my girlfriend cuts my legs with a razor blade. The thing is, I feel so inhuman, like I'm just a shell, a husk. But when she cuts me and I bleed and see the blood and taste it on my fingers, well, then I realize I'm human, real."
So she's one of those girls on Lifetime, Television for Women, who stabs her knees with a fork until her parents catch her and take her to an expensive shrink, played by Jaclyn Smith. And while that's moderately entertaining, I still don't understand how any of this directly relates to me. On the plus side, they're feeding me Librium like candy. It gives me the sensation of floating just a few inches above the floor. Its a nice feeling, one I'd like to carry with me when I leave this place. It's great that rehab has turned me on to a new drug.
_______________________________________________________________
Meetings are the Hail Mary's of alcoholics. You can do or almost do anything, feel anything, commit any number of non-sober atrocities, as long as you follow with an AA chaser.
"After I cut off his penis, I sauteed it in rosemary butter and ate it."
"But did you go to a meeting afterward?"
"Yes."
"I wouldn't worry about it, then."
All of the above are from Dry: A Memoir