The Gamete Indeterminacy (Chapter 24)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

"Now, Shelly," Mrs. Cooper said, "you wait right here. I'm going to take care of Step One." Sheldon took a seat on the bench just outside the office door as his mother walked in.

"I'm here to see Dean Gablehauser," she said. "I don't have an appointment, but I believe he wouldn't mind seeing me, if you know what I mean."

The receptionist certainly didn't know what she meant, most likely because Mrs. Cooper actually didn't mean anything. But the older woman had said it with so much gravity, the receptionist complied-and with haste.

"There is a woman here to see you," she said into the phone. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "And I believe it's urgent." She nodded at Mrs. Cooper. "He'll see you now."

"Thanks, sweetheart," she said. She walked through the door. The Dean stood.

"Ah, Mrs. Cooper," he said with a smile. "It's been a long time since we've spoken."

"Indeed it has," she said. "And how have you been?"

"Great," the Dean said. "And you?"

"Well, I've been better."

The Dean nodded with recognition. "It's your son, isn't it?" he asked.

Mrs. Cooper nodded. "It is. Now, I know we've been down this road before, but Shelly is given to passions. It's the same thing that makes him a great scientist. That passion. So, even though I know he said-"

"Dr. Cooper is still employed here at Caltech," the Dean said plainly. Mrs. Cooper was pleasantly surprised-though thoroughly confused-by this news.

"He told me he quit," she said.

"He did," the Dean said with a sigh. "But I felt so bad about the way the whole 'book-deal' situation played out, I didn't accept his resignation. Instead, I put through the paperwork for him to go on sabbatical. He's not due back to work until the Fall."

Mrs. Cooper smiled at that. "Well, that was mighty kind of you," she said.

"It was the least I could do. I had my secretary call him on the phone several times to let him know, but she said someone would pick up and not say anything."

"It's… a long story," Mrs. Cooper replied.

"So," the Dean purred, "you're looking as great as ever."

"Am I?" she answered back. "That's always good to hear. You don't look so bad yourself."

He nodded appreciatively. "Have you had lunch yet?" he asked.

"Awww, now I would love to join you Dr. Gablehauser-"

"Please, call me Eric," he said.

"Very well then, Eric," she continued. "But I'm afraid my son and I are on a mission of sorts and must be on our way."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "Maybe next time."

She nodded. "Maybe so."

"Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Mrs. Cooper paused a moment. "As a matter of fact, there is one thing. My son tells me that he is worried about this whole tenure situation. Now, I don't know all the ins and outs of higher learning, but I do know that when a man works hard, he deserves to have some kind of job security. I'm sure you feel the same way."

Eric was a bit disconcerted at this statement. "If I'm being honest, Mrs. Cooper-"

"Mary."

"Mary, I couldn't agree more," he said. "Can I tell you something off the record?"

"It'll be like we've never met," she said.

"Sheldon's tenure is guaranteed. There's no way Caltech would let someone of his potential get away. But the President wanted to use it as leverage to, squeeze as much out of him as possible. I know; it's appalling."

"It is that," Mrs. Cooper agreed.

"Don't tell, Sheldon, but if you could persuade him to hold tight, I'll see what I can do to advocate in his behalf and move things along."

Mrs. Cooper stepped forward, one hand outstretched, the other over her heart. "I do thank you, Eric. You've always been upright with me, and that is something I never take for granted." He took her hand and held it, a bit longer than he had to.

"Thanks for stopping by," he said. "And… next time."

"Next time," she said with a wink, and walked out.

Mrs. Cooper met Sheldon at the door.

"What happened?" he asked, standing.

"Don't clean out your desk just yet, baby" she said. "Now, c'mon; we're moving on to Step Two."

"Now I want you to go in there, with your head held high and get your mail. That should knock out Step Two," she said. Sheldon got out of the car and walked to the main physics building. The receptionist spotted him.

"Dr. Cooper!" she said with some shock. "How've you been?"

"Fine," he said and walked over to his mailbox. It was teeming with junk mail, memos, and-most interestingly-science journals. Sheldon would have reading material for years. Well… days at least. "Is there anything I should know?" he asked.

"Well, your mailbox is full," she said. Sheldon sighed.

"I can see that," he said. "Is there any news in the department?" The receptionist shrugged. "Dr. Kripke got a book deal with Random House."

Sheldon grumbled as he left out of the door.

"Next up," Mrs. Cooper said as they rode along. "Step Three."

"Mom, while I have certainly been impressed with your near miraculous skill at reordering my life, I hardly think you can get me the Nobel Prize."

"Who said anything about the Nobel Prize?" Mrs. Cooper blurted. "I'm just trying to get your name back out in the science community like you want. Here," she handed him her phone which was already ringing. "Talk to him."

"Hello?" came a voice on the other end.

"Hello," Sheldon said. He looked at his mother for clues as to who it was.

"It's my cousin Moonie from Texas Town Publishing," she whispered. Sheldon groaned.

"Excuse me one minute," he said into the phone, then cupped the receiver. "Mom, I told you that I don't care about that book."

"Well that is very confusing, Shelly," she said. "One minute you're quitting your job behind the book, and the next minute you don't care about the book. Now which is it?"

"It's complicated. You see-never mind," he sighed, and went back to the phone. "Hello Moonie," he said.

"Hey Sheldon. Nice to hear your voice. I haven't seen you in… years." Sheldon repressed urges to remark at how fortunate that had been. "Yeah, your mother tells me you interested in writing a science book."

"While I appreciate your help, Moonie," he began, "my mother and I seem to have fallen prey to a classic case of miscommunication. I'm actually not interested in writing a book at this time."

"Really?" Moonie said, sounding disappointed. "That's a shame. Because, well… if I'm being honest, I could really use your help."

"My help?" Sheldon said, shocked. "How could I possibly help you?"

"Well, we ain't a big operation like Random House or anything, but the Texas State Fair asked us if we could work on a children's book for a fundraiser they're having. And I was hoping you could, you know, maybe write up something that might be appealing to a child. Something to get 'em interested in science. I dunno... that's probably crazy. We couldn't pay you much of anything, being a fundraiser and all."

Sheldon was poised to reject the offer outright and then thought of something.

"It would be my honor," he said.

"Seriously?" Moonie exclaimed. "I never thought you'd say yes in a million years. Well how about that!"

"I look forward to working with you," Sheldon said, and hung up.

"Sooo?" his mother asked.

"I think we have a book deal," he said, more surprised than anyone.

"Great," she said, and then held out her hand. "That means you have some moola."

"He won't be paying me much, Mom," Sheldon explained. "It's for a fundraiser."

"Oh, God'll find a way to get you that money back. Now hand me over one of those credit cards of yours-we're moving on to Step Four."

"Dr. Fowler, you can come back now," the receptionist called. Her life had turned into a never ending string of doctor's appointments, and blood tests and multi-vitamins. Even though it was more or less what she had signed up for, the reality of it was more tiring that she had anticipated. She had imagined pregnancy being a radiant time, a fun time, a glorious time. But lately, she had been mostly sad and confused. And craving fried pickles.

In spite of herself, she wished that Sheldon was there with her.

"Hello, Ms. Fowler. I'm Jake," the ultrasound tech said. He was young and spirited. "How have you been?"

Miserable, she thought. "I'm fine," she said.

"Great," he answered.

"Although I do have a question," she added.

He shrugged as he pulled the equipment around. "Shoot."

"Why am I having another ultrasound so soon after the other?"

"Ah," he said. "This one was your originally scheduled one. Apparently the other ultrasound was an emergency appointment, or something?" Amy nodded. "Also, the chart said something about an odd fetal presentation." He smiled. "I guess you could have cancelled, but believe me, you want this. We have way better machines than that other facility. Now, if you could just lift up your shirt for me," he suggested. She did as she was told. He pulled out a lidded tube and squeezed out a dollop of clear gel onto her bare skin. Then, taking out a wand, he gently pressed it against her belly, smearing the gel around as he did.

He worked in silence a while, and Amy looked down at her abdomen. While, underneath her clothes, it was barely perceptible, in the open like this, she was starting to show.

"Have any other children?" he asked casually as he moved the wand around. She shook her head.

"Nope, this is,"-ahem-"my first."

But he didn't seem to hear her, and began to look intently at the screen.

"Here we go," he said with a celebratory purr. He pointed to the screen. "You see that?" He pointed to the screen. "That's the money shot."

Amy looked up, not totally sure what she was looking at. Then she focused. For all the wonders she experienced in life… this was by far the most amazing thing she had ever seen.

He pointed more determinedly.

"Look… there," he said.

Amy's jaw dropped… she could barely believe her eyes.

Sheldon and his mom entered the plane, nodding at the flight attendant as they made their way to their seats.

"Wasn't it so nice for them to let us get on the plane first?" she remarked as she sat down.

"We paid a pretty penny for the privilege," Sheldon said.

"Well, then, it was a penny well spent."

"Mom, for the record, I would like to state that this was an exceedingly unnecessary expense."

"Oh, it was very necessary," Mrs. Cooper countered. "I have never been so in need of first class treatment-on your dime-in my life."

Sheldon sniffed at that. "And next you'll be having a limousine pick us up from the airport."

Mrs. Cooper liked that idea. "Good thinking, Shelly," she said. "I'll get on that as soon as we touch down."

His pouting only intensified.

"Mom, this is not a vacation, nor even a special occasion."

"Speak for yourself, Shelly. I'm on my way to see my grandbaby for the first time."

"Then you may be disappointed to learn that your 'grandbaby' remains, as yet, unborn. And to reach said grandchild requires confronting a very hormonal and potentially aggressive woman."

"Look, don't ruin this for me Shelly. Your father is dead, I'm retired, and every day I lose you guys a little more to the lives you've carved out for yourselves. I celebrate the little things whenever I get the hankering to, and if that's a crime, lock me up." She reclined her chair, closing her eyes. "Besides, I may never ride in first class again. Who better to share it with than my son?"

He looked at his mother, the woman who had stuck by him in one chaotic episode after the other. He couldn't begrudge her that.

"Mom," he said, newly chastened. "Thank you for… coming with me," he said.

She patted his arms. "Of course, dear. Now see what you can do about getting me a blanket and a pillow."

Amy was reading a book about pre-natal nutrition. Actually, she was reading a sentence about pre-natal nutrition, the same sentence she'd read ten times. She heard a knock at the door and went to go see who it might be, peering through of the peephole. She didn't see anyone.

"Who is it?" she called. When there was no response she just opened the door.

Suddenly, Sheldon stepped out from behind the bush. Amy was so startled she could feel her stomach in her throat.

"Why did you hide?" she asked.

"I was afraid that you might not open the door," he answered.

Amy put her hand to her chest, trying to regain her composure. She didn't even know what to say. She had spent the last week obsessing over every detail of her and Sheldon's last fight: weighing the arguments; rehearsing things she wanted to tell him; reflecting on things she refused to say… things he refused to do. But now that he was standing there in front of her… she was speechless.

"How did you get here?" she finally asked.

He looked behind him. "My mother brought me."

Amy looked past him and saw the rental car that was parked out in front of the house; Mrs. Cooper was standing by it, shaking out the car mats. At the sight of his mother, Amy's heart sunk. She could only imagine Mrs. Cooper sitting next to him on the plane, going on in her deceptively genteel manner, all the while maligning Amy's name, stoking Sheldon's fears and making herself out to be the unsung heroine of the whole situation. In the battle for the spot of Number One Woman in Sheldon's life, Amy had not only lost the fight… she had lost Sheldon.

"Amy," he finally began. He stood there motionless, scared, and completely in over his head.

She knew how hard moments like this were for him-for anyone really. But especially for him. She decided to help him out and speed things along.

"I know there are a lot of things we need to… discuss," she said, exhausted at the prospect of sorting out this whole messy affair. "Like… custody. Or, just… I guess, visitation or… child support, or something." She realized she didn't even know what to say. Shared custody was the one thing about being a mother she had never researched. It was the very thing she had been trying to avoid. She leaned her forehead against the door jamb.

"Amy," Sheldon started again.

She turned her face towards him. He took a deep breath.

"I love you."

She sat up, the words ricocheting in her head. "What?"

"I love you. And I want to be with you. And I refuse to live a life without you in it."

He took both of her hands in his own. She was stunned by this display of affection, and looked down, staring with amazement at the sinewy digits, unsure of what he was about say next.

"Amy," he said, and as many times as that name had crossed his lips, there was something about this moment that made her feel like he was saying it, truly, for the first time. "Of all the women I've ever known," he continued, almost in a whisper, and the words that previously stumbled out so clumsily suddenly seemed to line up in eloquent rows impatiently waiting to express the things he'd never been able to say, "Of all the women I've ever known… you are the one I am fondest of. I cherish our moments of connection, our congress of thought, and the way we get lost in each others' minds. My efforts to live without you have been in vain, and I hope I am not alone in regretting the time we've spent apart. This past week has taught me in the sorest of ways that it's only with you that I feel home. But most of all, I need you, Amy, and the prospect of cementing our bond in the form of a life… a new person…" -he paused- "is thrilling."

Amy didn't move for a second, and neither did Sheldon. In Amy's most outlandish, indulgent and utopian dreams, she had never imagined… she had never dared… she hadn't even…

She busted out crying. Not gentle tears, not quiet sobs. She was weeping, overcome with a mounting flood of months and months and months of emotion. She was so overcome that she stooped down, pouring her eyes into her hands.

Sheldon-completely overtaken with her reaction-joined her below, crouching just in front of her and patting her on the back.

"I'm sorry," he repeated over and over. "I don't know what I've done, but I'm sorry."

She stopped crying just long enough to look up at his tortured face, then she just… started laughing.

"I love you so much, Sheldon," she said. She visibly saw his face brighten. She went to stand and he helped her to her feet. He glanced down at her belly and placed his hand there.

"How is the baby?" he asked.

"Babies," Amy corrected. He didn't say anything; had he heard correctly? "I found out during the ultrasound. The AFP levels were so high because… we're having twins."

He didn't say anything, just planted her tear-stained, slobbery, snot-smeared mouth with a kiss. She half thought he would emerge a second later, recoil in horror and run back to Pasadena, never to be heard from again. But instead, he lingered there, and they stood, kissing with everything they were worth, without reserve and without excuse. They kissed to make up; they kissed because they were in love; they kissed because today was their day-and the first day of the rest of their lives.

They were both red-nosed and wearing bright smiles when they pulled apart: smiles that reached from ear to ear.

"Awww, isn't that nice?" Mrs. Cooper said, suddenly appearing behind her son. Alarmed, Amy looked up at her and then back at Sheldon. Her face said, "Why isn't she pepper-spraying us?"

"She had a long talk with Jesus," Sheldon explained. "Turns out it's okay."

Amy nodded. She'd get the details later.

"Amy?" he asked, with a pained face. He was dabbing at his face with his fingers. "Can I come in? I need to use the restroom and… my face is wet… and sticky."

She smiled and then ushered him inside.

Five months later.

Leonard sat, nervously waiting, as the cop walked over from his cruiser.

"Now when that policeman comes," Mrs. Cooper said from the passenger's seat, "let me do all the talking."

Leonard nodded and did as he was told.