What a rollarcoaster this life is.
It's funny what lengths the lord will go to teach someone a lesson. He doesn't stop trying until that lesson is learned. I think my youth pastor was talking about this and it got me thinking. Looking back at the crazy events of my life, I realized that God wouldn't put us through this for nothing. We have to be missing out on some sort of lesson that he is trying to get us to learn but we are too pigheaded to learn. This has to be it because it's just not that common that people go through as much as my family and I have in the last few years.
Okay, now that we have that out of the way...what the heck is the lesson? Although a lot of my experiences involved loss of things and people, I didn't feel like God was trying to teach us not to take things for granted. We definitley learned that as soon as we lost our house. I don't think I have figured it all out, but I feel like I'm grasping a big lesson that I feel like God is trying to teach me.
All my life I have had dreams of the future. How I wanted to live my life. I finally realized that nothing has turned out the way I thought it would. It's like, every time I've gotten comfortable and accepted the way things were and planed from where I was at, something drastic happened that changed a lot of my plans. Almost everything in my life has changed drastically from the way I thought it would be right now. I got comfortable with the fact that my mother loved the house we live it, I love it even. I knew we'd live happily there forever...NOT. I was okay with the first divorce, and thought I'd always have Cheryl as my step-mom and I was completely fine with that because I loved her to death. Never in a million year would I have thought I would end up with yet another step-mom. 1...2...skip a few...now we are to this summer.
There used to be no doubt in my mind that Gabriel was the one for me. Not that he's not, but God gave us both a few scares this summer, so we are now both uncertain about the future and we are okay with that for now. Every time I would get into a fight with Gabriel, I would cry for hours because of the fear of loosing him, after all, he was the only thing keeping me sane from my hectic family situation. He was like my comfort blanket. That's when it really hit me. That's the complete opposite feeling that God wants me to have. God doesn't want me to depend on Gabriel solely for my strength and support. God wants us to depend on primarily him for strength and support.
I also feel like he showed me that I wasn't comfortable with Gabriel and I fighting because I had plans for my future and they consisted of Gabriel and I being together forever. God pushed me and said "that's my job, you silly goose" haha, he didn't really say it in those words, but you get the idea. I have to stop getting comfortable with my plans for life and just depend and trust in the Lord's plan for me because, after all, he created this life for me anyways. It's like Barbie, she has no say so in how her life goes. You have the say so, it's your imagination and play world, so there is no sense in her trying to change the situation. That's a cheezy example, but you catch my drift, don't you?
I'm also reading this sweet book that is talking about a man who died and was in heaven for ninety minutes. Reading how wonderful his experience was, just makes it that much more easy living life knowing that what you have in store for you after death, is absolutely out of this world and more than worth the hard work. The man said that human language can't describe the brilliance and pure dazzle of heaven. YAY!
Okay, now that we have that out of the way...what the heck is the lesson? Although a lot of my experiences involved loss of things and people, I didn't feel like God was trying to teach us not to take things for granted. We definitley learned that as soon as we lost our house. I don't think I have figured it all out, but I feel like I'm grasping a big lesson that I feel like God is trying to teach me.
All my life I have had dreams of the future. How I wanted to live my life. I finally realized that nothing has turned out the way I thought it would. It's like, every time I've gotten comfortable and accepted the way things were and planed from where I was at, something drastic happened that changed a lot of my plans. Almost everything in my life has changed drastically from the way I thought it would be right now. I got comfortable with the fact that my mother loved the house we live it, I love it even. I knew we'd live happily there forever...NOT. I was okay with the first divorce, and thought I'd always have Cheryl as my step-mom and I was completely fine with that because I loved her to death. Never in a million year would I have thought I would end up with yet another step-mom. 1...2...skip a few...now we are to this summer.
There used to be no doubt in my mind that Gabriel was the one for me. Not that he's not, but God gave us both a few scares this summer, so we are now both uncertain about the future and we are okay with that for now. Every time I would get into a fight with Gabriel, I would cry for hours because of the fear of loosing him, after all, he was the only thing keeping me sane from my hectic family situation. He was like my comfort blanket. That's when it really hit me. That's the complete opposite feeling that God wants me to have. God doesn't want me to depend on Gabriel solely for my strength and support. God wants us to depend on primarily him for strength and support.
I also feel like he showed me that I wasn't comfortable with Gabriel and I fighting because I had plans for my future and they consisted of Gabriel and I being together forever. God pushed me and said "that's my job, you silly goose" haha, he didn't really say it in those words, but you get the idea. I have to stop getting comfortable with my plans for life and just depend and trust in the Lord's plan for me because, after all, he created this life for me anyways. It's like Barbie, she has no say so in how her life goes. You have the say so, it's your imagination and play world, so there is no sense in her trying to change the situation. That's a cheezy example, but you catch my drift, don't you?
I'm also reading this sweet book that is talking about a man who died and was in heaven for ninety minutes. Reading how wonderful his experience was, just makes it that much more easy living life knowing that what you have in store for you after death, is absolutely out of this world and more than worth the hard work. The man said that human language can't describe the brilliance and pure dazzle of heaven. YAY!