(no subject)
I don't want to be anything that I am right now. Every single aspect of myself disappoints the fuck out of me.
And if I'm not happy with me then how can I expect someone else to be? I'm at a point where every day's goal is seeking an escape because I can't figure out where I am or what to do.
I know my entries go from ecstatic to nearing the edge of depression. I'm not trying to sound like a bitch who complains about shit that may seem trivial to others, I just feel like getting some of this off my chest. I hate the mask attached to my face that I can't seem to take off except when I'm alone. Talking about this bullshit isn't getting me anywhere though. So fuck it.
Thursday night I spent the night at Folsom's and did DXM for the first time in many many months. I tripped so many fucking balls.
Saturday night Folsom Miles and I stayed at Kody's. We chilled with a handle and a few blunts, along with Sarah L, Karina, Leigh, C.J. and Jackie. It was chill except sleeping on the floor pillow-less and blanket-less.
Today we hung out with Pierce then had an exceptional band practice, finally completing our newest song "Brother Against Brother", a tale of cannibalistic twins in the womb, fighting (and chewing) to the death. How 'bout that? The music is getting much heavier and more technical; I can feel myself and my band as a whole progressing and getting better, tighter, and more capable of things we previously thought ourselves uncapable of. The T-shirts are fucking sexy-ass pieces of clothing, they should be in in about a week. If you want one let one of us know, they're only $10. The sizes are mostly smalls, with a few mediums and I think two larges. So if you wear a medium or large you gotta hop on this shiat! Check our myspace to see the design (www.myspace.com/bruxia)
By the way, Dave Chapelle is the weakest show ever. The other night Pierce and I let are eyes rest upon the funniest skit I've ever seen, so weak that we were both crying. I had the pleasure of seeing it repeat last night at Kody's and today we subjected ourselves to a barrage of Dave Chapelle clips that you can watch at comedycentral.com. If you haven't seen the skit with the puppets teaching kids lessons about drugs and VD's, go to the site and watch it immediately. If you don't shit yourself from laughing my name isn't the Vagkut.
"No more new humvee, I say fuck it."
"But you'll get no pussy!"
"...Fuck it.
You don't understand,
as I make love to my hand.
I don't need you hunnie,
I beat my dick like it owes me money."
Gets me weak just thinking about that shit.
Hey I need to know who all is on the market because needing a girlfriend is real dick and it's hard as hell to find one. The only girls I was interested in I have given up on. The first one I barely know and my friend likes her as well so fuck that. The other one, well I had my chance a long time ago and I really really fucked it up, and now I'm sure her standards are way above me and she's kind of like my sister so I don't even feel like trying. I always lose hope when I'm almost 100% positive that I'll get denied. I'm too scared to try, I'm not very fond of awkward silences and the like.
That does it for me tonight; I'm spent. There isn't anything else I can write about. My main concern right now is girls sadly. Aw what's that you say? Am I a pussy? Well I don't give a fuck, if I am, I'm a pussy that fucking loves pussy so what can I say?
Majkut
And if I'm not happy with me then how can I expect someone else to be? I'm at a point where every day's goal is seeking an escape because I can't figure out where I am or what to do.
I know my entries go from ecstatic to nearing the edge of depression. I'm not trying to sound like a bitch who complains about shit that may seem trivial to others, I just feel like getting some of this off my chest. I hate the mask attached to my face that I can't seem to take off except when I'm alone. Talking about this bullshit isn't getting me anywhere though. So fuck it.
Thursday night I spent the night at Folsom's and did DXM for the first time in many many months. I tripped so many fucking balls.
Saturday night Folsom Miles and I stayed at Kody's. We chilled with a handle and a few blunts, along with Sarah L, Karina, Leigh, C.J. and Jackie. It was chill except sleeping on the floor pillow-less and blanket-less.
Today we hung out with Pierce then had an exceptional band practice, finally completing our newest song "Brother Against Brother", a tale of cannibalistic twins in the womb, fighting (and chewing) to the death. How 'bout that? The music is getting much heavier and more technical; I can feel myself and my band as a whole progressing and getting better, tighter, and more capable of things we previously thought ourselves uncapable of. The T-shirts are fucking sexy-ass pieces of clothing, they should be in in about a week. If you want one let one of us know, they're only $10. The sizes are mostly smalls, with a few mediums and I think two larges. So if you wear a medium or large you gotta hop on this shiat! Check our myspace to see the design (www.myspace.com/bruxia)
By the way, Dave Chapelle is the weakest show ever. The other night Pierce and I let are eyes rest upon the funniest skit I've ever seen, so weak that we were both crying. I had the pleasure of seeing it repeat last night at Kody's and today we subjected ourselves to a barrage of Dave Chapelle clips that you can watch at comedycentral.com. If you haven't seen the skit with the puppets teaching kids lessons about drugs and VD's, go to the site and watch it immediately. If you don't shit yourself from laughing my name isn't the Vagkut.
"No more new humvee, I say fuck it."
"But you'll get no pussy!"
"...Fuck it.
You don't understand,
as I make love to my hand.
I don't need you hunnie,
I beat my dick like it owes me money."
Gets me weak just thinking about that shit.
Hey I need to know who all is on the market because needing a girlfriend is real dick and it's hard as hell to find one. The only girls I was interested in I have given up on. The first one I barely know and my friend likes her as well so fuck that. The other one, well I had my chance a long time ago and I really really fucked it up, and now I'm sure her standards are way above me and she's kind of like my sister so I don't even feel like trying. I always lose hope when I'm almost 100% positive that I'll get denied. I'm too scared to try, I'm not very fond of awkward silences and the like.
That does it for me tonight; I'm spent. There isn't anything else I can write about. My main concern right now is girls sadly. Aw what's that you say? Am I a pussy? Well I don't give a fuck, if I am, I'm a pussy that fucking loves pussy so what can I say?
Majkut