[fic; 30emo] Sadame no Ito :: Raveled Ends of Care
Title: Sadame no Ito :: Raveled Ends of Care
Chapter: #12 of The Long Chain Cycle
Author: Cross (xmachina_writes)
Band/Pairing: DBSK
30emotions Prompt: #14: Gratitude
Rating: PG
Warnings: AUness
Word Count: 2378
Summary: Time stops for no one, not even Shim Changmin.
Rewind: Long Chain - Fanboy - Encounter in Kyoto - Returning - Horizon - Grey Sky Morning - Rebound
Sadame no Ito :: Snapping Threads - Drop Spindle - Tapestry - Sayonara
Comments: I'll understand if you need to reread the previous installments to remember where we were with this story. ^^;;
~*~*~
Changmin loved his job most of the time. Not many people were able to make money doing something they absolutely loved. They may have been two members short, but there were still things the three of them could do. Work enough to keep him nicely distracted, though of course it was impossible not to notice Jaejoong and Yunho's absence.
Three days later, their manager and Jaejoong returned to Seoul, Yunho conspicuously absent, and Changmin could only offer a heartfelt prayer of thanks for the tenacity of Yunho's doctor. He would accept Jaejoong's dark grumblings in the evening as fair payment for Yunho's proper recovery.
~*~*~
“I'm sure he'll never admit it, but Yunho-kun really does owe you one. It's entirely your fault he and Jae-kun are together now, you realize.”
“They're actually going through with it? Having a relationship, I mean.”
“Yeah. Funny how a brush like that'll make you realize what's really important to you, yanno?”
That sounded like the voice of experience to him, but Changmin decided not to go there; Ryuichi's history wasn't really any of his business, not unless the other started volunteering information.
“Oh, I talked to Pon last night and you know nothing, but Arisu's going to be in Seoul all next week. I'm sure you guys are being kept plenty busy, but if you should happen to sneak some time to take them around, I'm sure they'd appreciate it. It's PV shooting, so they're not going to have a whole lot of free time, but....”
“Ryu....”
“What? I'm not meddling, I'm just saying....”
Changmin sighed, not wanting to argue with Ryuichi. How he was supposed to offer his services as a tour guide when he wasn't even supposed to know they were coming.... Well, perhaps he would try e-mailing Nao, claim some birdy had told him the band was heading for Korea. If nothing else, he could show them some good places to go for food.
~*~*~
Greetings Nao-san,
A little bird told me the five of you would be in Seoul next week for video shooting. While I'm sure your schedule is already set and filled, with a. suitable guide already settled upon by your management, I would still be happy to take you around town some time while you're here. If nothing else, I know the best places to go for dinner. ;)
Please let me know.
Sincerely,
Shim Changmin (Tohoshinki)
Dear Shim-kun,
We haven't actually scheduled anything for our leisure time yet, though I'm sure Manager-san has already talked to a guide or two. But if you can spare the time from your own busy schedule, I have attached a copy of our schedule for next week. Please let me know when we might be able to impose upon you for some expert advice on city dining.
Sincerely,
Murai Naoyuki (alicenine.)
~*~*~
Changmin felt a little silly sitting in a van at the airport, but it wasn't like he could stand at Customs and wait for them there - he was entirely too recognizable and Korean fans were arguably the scariest stalkers in the world. Still, it was an interesting experience to be tackle-glomped almost before Hiroto was even in the van.
“Nao-shi didn't tell us you would be the one meeting us at the airport!” Hiroto exclaimed, a bouncing lapful as the other four stowed bags and settled into the van.
“Ah, well, that was my doing,” Changmin confessed. “I wasn't entirely sure I'd be able to make it, so I didn't want to commit to something and then not be able to keep my promise. But we're ahead of schedule and they're running out of things to have us do while we're still waiting on Yunho-kun to be released.”
“Oh, that reminds me.... Sagacchi, is that my bag? Can you hand it to me? But yeah, Ryu-chan and I went over to the hospital last night and I guess Shima-sensei is about ready to release him to outpatient care, which Yunho-san was very obviously and understandably thrilled to hear. Being in a hospital on his own for a week and a half has made him a little ... odd. He was actually happy to see me. Surreal. And this is for you. And don't let me forget I've got stuff for the rest of you guys to give you later.”
Changmin blinked and then laughed; he was actually relieved to hear Hiroto's verbal diarrhea. One of those signs that everything was okay with the world, as far as Hiroto was concerned. And then there was the envelope he had taken somewhat automatically from Hiroto, an envelope that looked suspiciously like a letter.
“What's this?”
“For you,” Hiroto said, shrugging. “Other than that, no idea. He didn't say anything about it being urgent. Like, you don't have to read it right this second or anything, just didn't want to forget to give it to you.”
He was almost tempted to tear it open right there, but if it was something personal - and since it apparently came from Yunho, then it was probably very personal - then in a van with five guests was hardly the appropriate place for it. Especially when he was supposed to be playing tour guide.
“Oh, um, yeah, we're heading to your hotel first, so you guys can get settled and not have to lug around everything, and after that ... I don't have any sort of agenda, so whatever you guys decide you want to do....”
“Dinner!” Hiroto, Nao, and Shou chorused with matching grins. Saga and Tora shared a look, shrugging. He could handle doing food first, even if it meant getting hauled up to their floor, dragged into the room Hiroto had claimed for himself and Tora because the blond guitarist wouldn't let go of him. One of the nicer hotels in Seoul and Changmin was more than a little surprised that their label had been willing to foot the bill for two rooms for a whole week in such a place. Maybe they were the darlings of the label? Or else they were paying for the upgrade out of their own pockets.
Five showers later - and plenty of moaning about how hungry Hiroto was, peppered with questions from Nao about local specialities - they were finally ready for dinner. So naturally, just as they were getting a table in one of Changmin's favorite family-style restaurants, his phone had to start ringing. Jaejoong, probably wondering why he wasn't home yet, never mind that he'd told the elder he was going out with friends.
“Jae-hyung, I swear to all the Hindu gods, you are the most obsessive worrier I've ever met.”
“That's no way to answer your phone, Minnie-yah.”
“Whatever. I mean, really, what part of 'I'm going out with friends tonight' is so hard to grasp?”
“How about we start with how you didn't bother to tell me when you'd be home?”
“Because I don't know. We're just sitting down at a restaurant right now, I have no idea what we're doing after dinner or even what time it'll be when we're finished here.”
“Are you at least going to tell me who these friends of yours are?”
“If you must know, umma, I'm out with alicenine as their guide for the night. And we've now been on the phone long enough for all five of them to be watching me curiously, so anything else you absolutely have to know right this second?”
“Are you getting paid for this?”
“JAE!”
“What? It's a valid question. But fine. Just remember, no staying out all night. We've got things to do in the morning, don't need you stumbling in here an hour before Manager-sshi arrives. This's been as rough on him as it has been on us, yanno.”
“Yes, umma, I know. I'll behave myself, I promise. And if the subway shuts down on us, then I promise to let you know about it, okay? And get some sleep before turning up at the apartment again.”
If Jaejoong didn't sound completely satisfied with Changmin's responses to his questions, they were seemingly good enough to finally get the other man off the phone. Not soon enough to protect him from Hiroto and Shou's obvious curiosity, however.
“What did Jae-kun want?” Hiroto asked with unabashed interest.
“Just wanted to know when I'd be home. Band-umma takes his role very seriously, mothers us to death. Especially me. He wanted to be sure I knew we had work in the morning.”
“If we're being too much of an imposition,” Shou started. Changmin hurried to wave off the concern, even though he appreciated the sentiment.
“No, no, nothing like that. I know my own schedule, I wouldn't've come if I thought it would be a problem. Definitely, I'm yours for the night, no worries.”
He didn't know why, but the smile that appeared on Saga's face at those words made him nervous. Had he said something wrong? Or if not wrong, then at least something not entirely right, the way four of the five were snickering. And then Hiroto was wrapping a protective arm around his shoulders, all but glaring at his bandmates.
“You all know damn well that's not what he meant. Hentai.”
Blink. Oh. Ohhh. Perverts. They were certainly five attractive men, but still.
“Well, what are we supposed to think, saying something like that?” Nao teased. “What do people around here do for fun then, Min-kun?”
“Ah, well, um....” Changmin felt his face heating up in embarrassment. They would have to ask him something about which he knew almost nothing. Not that it was really his fault, but it still made him feel stupid and he hated that. “We don't. I mean, I'm sure other people do, but they keep us really busy with Tohoshinki, so ... when we have off time, it's spent at home, sleeping or studying or playing video games.”
“Arcade? Or karaoke? Er, assuming there's a karaoke place that offers karaoke in Japanese....”
“Eh, we'll find something,” Changmin said, grinning a little. He wasn't too sure where the good karaoke clubs were, but a quick text to one of his friends would solve that problem. Possibly even before their dinner arrived.
~*~*~
Changmin-ah,
I've had a lot of time to think lately, especially since Jae left. Maybe too much. You have a right to be upset, Changmin-ah, but so do we. Do you see now what sort of situation you've put us in by acting so thoughtlessly? And then to threaten to quit so casually? That is too selfish, even for you. There can be no Dong Bang Shin Ki without you as one of us, Changmin-ah. The five of us, our careers are all tied together, going nowhere without the other four. You had no right to act the way you did.
But as angry as you are now, please listen to the rest of what I have to say.
I'm sorry you felt you couldn't trust me, come to me with your problems, your feelings of isolation. I'm sorry I didn't see your true feelings even then, even when they were plain to everyone else. I'm sorry that you lost precious friends. I'm sorry that you had to hurt.
There is someone out there who is meant for you, someone wonderful, someone who will fill your days with happiness and laughter. But you won't find her (or him) through casual sex, Changmin-ah. That's no path to love. Too easy for someone to get hurt ... as you should know full well now.
I want to be able to trust you, Changmin-ah. I want to be able to support you in everything you want to do. But right now it feels as though I can't, as if I can't be sure of your judgement.
I love you, Changmin-ah. You're like a little brother. When you hurt, I hurt, we all hurt. Please don't ever think you can't bring your problems to me. I will always do my best to listen and give you fair advice.
All the love I can spare,
U-Know Yunho
P.S. I'm sorry I lashed out at you over Jaejoong. That was beneath me and only hurt us both more.
A corner of him wanted to crumple the letter in anger, but more than anything else, the unspoken gratitude in the post script stayed his hand. Yunho was trying to make peace, at least. And that, Changmin conceded, counted for a lot. Even if his execution wasn't so elegant.
“So what does the letter say?”
Changmin was impressed that he didn't shriek or do anything more than flinch away from the sudden weight on the bed. How Hiroto of all people had managed to sneak up on him, he really didn't know. It seemed almost too ridiculous.
“I thought you were going to ask for a roll-away while Tora showered?” Changmin said, only belatedly noticing that the shower had turned off as well.
“I did, they're very sorry, but all they have are futon rolls. They're sending one up along with some extra blankets. What does the letter say?”
“It's personal, Pon,” Changmin mumbled, refolding the letter. Not that it was really necessary for him to hide the contents that way - Hiroto couldn't read Korean anyway.
“It upset you. What's it say?”
“I really don't want to talk about it, okay? It's late and I have to be up early so I can get back to the apartment tomorrow before Manager-sshi gets there, so can we just ... talk about something else until the futon gets here?”
“But....”
“Drop it, Pon. You want to use our shower, Min? Don't have much we can offer, but....”
“It's fine, I'll take one at the apartment in the morning. Right now, I really just want to go to bed.”
Tora nodded, about to say something else, when room service knocked on the door. The futon was quietly delivered, rolled out at the foot of the bed. Laid out like that, it was even harder to ignore, never mind that he had nothing in the way of sleep clothes. Didn't really matter to him and with Tora there to keep Hiroto from prodding at him further, it wasn't long before the three of them were settled for the night. He had a lot of thinking to do, but for now, he just wanted sleep.
Chapter: #12 of The Long Chain Cycle
Author: Cross (xmachina_writes)
Band/Pairing: DBSK
30emotions Prompt: #14: Gratitude
Rating: PG
Warnings: AUness
Word Count: 2378
Summary: Time stops for no one, not even Shim Changmin.
Rewind: Long Chain - Fanboy - Encounter in Kyoto - Returning - Horizon - Grey Sky Morning - Rebound
Sadame no Ito :: Snapping Threads - Drop Spindle - Tapestry - Sayonara
Comments: I'll understand if you need to reread the previous installments to remember where we were with this story. ^^;;
~*~*~
Changmin loved his job most of the time. Not many people were able to make money doing something they absolutely loved. They may have been two members short, but there were still things the three of them could do. Work enough to keep him nicely distracted, though of course it was impossible not to notice Jaejoong and Yunho's absence.
Three days later, their manager and Jaejoong returned to Seoul, Yunho conspicuously absent, and Changmin could only offer a heartfelt prayer of thanks for the tenacity of Yunho's doctor. He would accept Jaejoong's dark grumblings in the evening as fair payment for Yunho's proper recovery.
~*~*~
“I'm sure he'll never admit it, but Yunho-kun really does owe you one. It's entirely your fault he and Jae-kun are together now, you realize.”
“They're actually going through with it? Having a relationship, I mean.”
“Yeah. Funny how a brush like that'll make you realize what's really important to you, yanno?”
That sounded like the voice of experience to him, but Changmin decided not to go there; Ryuichi's history wasn't really any of his business, not unless the other started volunteering information.
“Oh, I talked to Pon last night and you know nothing, but Arisu's going to be in Seoul all next week. I'm sure you guys are being kept plenty busy, but if you should happen to sneak some time to take them around, I'm sure they'd appreciate it. It's PV shooting, so they're not going to have a whole lot of free time, but....”
“Ryu....”
“What? I'm not meddling, I'm just saying....”
Changmin sighed, not wanting to argue with Ryuichi. How he was supposed to offer his services as a tour guide when he wasn't even supposed to know they were coming.... Well, perhaps he would try e-mailing Nao, claim some birdy had told him the band was heading for Korea. If nothing else, he could show them some good places to go for food.
~*~*~
Greetings Nao-san,
A little bird told me the five of you would be in Seoul next week for video shooting. While I'm sure your schedule is already set and filled, with a. suitable guide already settled upon by your management, I would still be happy to take you around town some time while you're here. If nothing else, I know the best places to go for dinner. ;)
Please let me know.
Sincerely,
Shim Changmin (Tohoshinki)
Dear Shim-kun,
We haven't actually scheduled anything for our leisure time yet, though I'm sure Manager-san has already talked to a guide or two. But if you can spare the time from your own busy schedule, I have attached a copy of our schedule for next week. Please let me know when we might be able to impose upon you for some expert advice on city dining.
Sincerely,
Murai Naoyuki (alicenine.)
~*~*~
Changmin felt a little silly sitting in a van at the airport, but it wasn't like he could stand at Customs and wait for them there - he was entirely too recognizable and Korean fans were arguably the scariest stalkers in the world. Still, it was an interesting experience to be tackle-glomped almost before Hiroto was even in the van.
“Nao-shi didn't tell us you would be the one meeting us at the airport!” Hiroto exclaimed, a bouncing lapful as the other four stowed bags and settled into the van.
“Ah, well, that was my doing,” Changmin confessed. “I wasn't entirely sure I'd be able to make it, so I didn't want to commit to something and then not be able to keep my promise. But we're ahead of schedule and they're running out of things to have us do while we're still waiting on Yunho-kun to be released.”
“Oh, that reminds me.... Sagacchi, is that my bag? Can you hand it to me? But yeah, Ryu-chan and I went over to the hospital last night and I guess Shima-sensei is about ready to release him to outpatient care, which Yunho-san was very obviously and understandably thrilled to hear. Being in a hospital on his own for a week and a half has made him a little ... odd. He was actually happy to see me. Surreal. And this is for you. And don't let me forget I've got stuff for the rest of you guys to give you later.”
Changmin blinked and then laughed; he was actually relieved to hear Hiroto's verbal diarrhea. One of those signs that everything was okay with the world, as far as Hiroto was concerned. And then there was the envelope he had taken somewhat automatically from Hiroto, an envelope that looked suspiciously like a letter.
“What's this?”
“For you,” Hiroto said, shrugging. “Other than that, no idea. He didn't say anything about it being urgent. Like, you don't have to read it right this second or anything, just didn't want to forget to give it to you.”
He was almost tempted to tear it open right there, but if it was something personal - and since it apparently came from Yunho, then it was probably very personal - then in a van with five guests was hardly the appropriate place for it. Especially when he was supposed to be playing tour guide.
“Oh, um, yeah, we're heading to your hotel first, so you guys can get settled and not have to lug around everything, and after that ... I don't have any sort of agenda, so whatever you guys decide you want to do....”
“Dinner!” Hiroto, Nao, and Shou chorused with matching grins. Saga and Tora shared a look, shrugging. He could handle doing food first, even if it meant getting hauled up to their floor, dragged into the room Hiroto had claimed for himself and Tora because the blond guitarist wouldn't let go of him. One of the nicer hotels in Seoul and Changmin was more than a little surprised that their label had been willing to foot the bill for two rooms for a whole week in such a place. Maybe they were the darlings of the label? Or else they were paying for the upgrade out of their own pockets.
Five showers later - and plenty of moaning about how hungry Hiroto was, peppered with questions from Nao about local specialities - they were finally ready for dinner. So naturally, just as they were getting a table in one of Changmin's favorite family-style restaurants, his phone had to start ringing. Jaejoong, probably wondering why he wasn't home yet, never mind that he'd told the elder he was going out with friends.
“Jae-hyung, I swear to all the Hindu gods, you are the most obsessive worrier I've ever met.”
“That's no way to answer your phone, Minnie-yah.”
“Whatever. I mean, really, what part of 'I'm going out with friends tonight' is so hard to grasp?”
“How about we start with how you didn't bother to tell me when you'd be home?”
“Because I don't know. We're just sitting down at a restaurant right now, I have no idea what we're doing after dinner or even what time it'll be when we're finished here.”
“Are you at least going to tell me who these friends of yours are?”
“If you must know, umma, I'm out with alicenine as their guide for the night. And we've now been on the phone long enough for all five of them to be watching me curiously, so anything else you absolutely have to know right this second?”
“Are you getting paid for this?”
“JAE!”
“What? It's a valid question. But fine. Just remember, no staying out all night. We've got things to do in the morning, don't need you stumbling in here an hour before Manager-sshi arrives. This's been as rough on him as it has been on us, yanno.”
“Yes, umma, I know. I'll behave myself, I promise. And if the subway shuts down on us, then I promise to let you know about it, okay? And get some sleep before turning up at the apartment again.”
If Jaejoong didn't sound completely satisfied with Changmin's responses to his questions, they were seemingly good enough to finally get the other man off the phone. Not soon enough to protect him from Hiroto and Shou's obvious curiosity, however.
“What did Jae-kun want?” Hiroto asked with unabashed interest.
“Just wanted to know when I'd be home. Band-umma takes his role very seriously, mothers us to death. Especially me. He wanted to be sure I knew we had work in the morning.”
“If we're being too much of an imposition,” Shou started. Changmin hurried to wave off the concern, even though he appreciated the sentiment.
“No, no, nothing like that. I know my own schedule, I wouldn't've come if I thought it would be a problem. Definitely, I'm yours for the night, no worries.”
He didn't know why, but the smile that appeared on Saga's face at those words made him nervous. Had he said something wrong? Or if not wrong, then at least something not entirely right, the way four of the five were snickering. And then Hiroto was wrapping a protective arm around his shoulders, all but glaring at his bandmates.
“You all know damn well that's not what he meant. Hentai.”
Blink. Oh. Ohhh. Perverts. They were certainly five attractive men, but still.
“Well, what are we supposed to think, saying something like that?” Nao teased. “What do people around here do for fun then, Min-kun?”
“Ah, well, um....” Changmin felt his face heating up in embarrassment. They would have to ask him something about which he knew almost nothing. Not that it was really his fault, but it still made him feel stupid and he hated that. “We don't. I mean, I'm sure other people do, but they keep us really busy with Tohoshinki, so ... when we have off time, it's spent at home, sleeping or studying or playing video games.”
“Arcade? Or karaoke? Er, assuming there's a karaoke place that offers karaoke in Japanese....”
“Eh, we'll find something,” Changmin said, grinning a little. He wasn't too sure where the good karaoke clubs were, but a quick text to one of his friends would solve that problem. Possibly even before their dinner arrived.
~*~*~
Changmin-ah,
I've had a lot of time to think lately, especially since Jae left. Maybe too much. You have a right to be upset, Changmin-ah, but so do we. Do you see now what sort of situation you've put us in by acting so thoughtlessly? And then to threaten to quit so casually? That is too selfish, even for you. There can be no Dong Bang Shin Ki without you as one of us, Changmin-ah. The five of us, our careers are all tied together, going nowhere without the other four. You had no right to act the way you did.
But as angry as you are now, please listen to the rest of what I have to say.
I'm sorry you felt you couldn't trust me, come to me with your problems, your feelings of isolation. I'm sorry I didn't see your true feelings even then, even when they were plain to everyone else. I'm sorry that you lost precious friends. I'm sorry that you had to hurt.
There is someone out there who is meant for you, someone wonderful, someone who will fill your days with happiness and laughter. But you won't find her (or him) through casual sex, Changmin-ah. That's no path to love. Too easy for someone to get hurt ... as you should know full well now.
I want to be able to trust you, Changmin-ah. I want to be able to support you in everything you want to do. But right now it feels as though I can't, as if I can't be sure of your judgement.
I love you, Changmin-ah. You're like a little brother. When you hurt, I hurt, we all hurt. Please don't ever think you can't bring your problems to me. I will always do my best to listen and give you fair advice.
All the love I can spare,
U-Know Yunho
P.S. I'm sorry I lashed out at you over Jaejoong. That was beneath me and only hurt us both more.
A corner of him wanted to crumple the letter in anger, but more than anything else, the unspoken gratitude in the post script stayed his hand. Yunho was trying to make peace, at least. And that, Changmin conceded, counted for a lot. Even if his execution wasn't so elegant.
“So what does the letter say?”
Changmin was impressed that he didn't shriek or do anything more than flinch away from the sudden weight on the bed. How Hiroto of all people had managed to sneak up on him, he really didn't know. It seemed almost too ridiculous.
“I thought you were going to ask for a roll-away while Tora showered?” Changmin said, only belatedly noticing that the shower had turned off as well.
“I did, they're very sorry, but all they have are futon rolls. They're sending one up along with some extra blankets. What does the letter say?”
“It's personal, Pon,” Changmin mumbled, refolding the letter. Not that it was really necessary for him to hide the contents that way - Hiroto couldn't read Korean anyway.
“It upset you. What's it say?”
“I really don't want to talk about it, okay? It's late and I have to be up early so I can get back to the apartment tomorrow before Manager-sshi gets there, so can we just ... talk about something else until the futon gets here?”
“But....”
“Drop it, Pon. You want to use our shower, Min? Don't have much we can offer, but....”
“It's fine, I'll take one at the apartment in the morning. Right now, I really just want to go to bed.”
Tora nodded, about to say something else, when room service knocked on the door. The futon was quietly delivered, rolled out at the foot of the bed. Laid out like that, it was even harder to ignore, never mind that he had nothing in the way of sleep clothes. Didn't really matter to him and with Tora there to keep Hiroto from prodding at him further, it wasn't long before the three of them were settled for the night. He had a lot of thinking to do, but for now, he just wanted sleep.