(no subject)
i just got done having a very mean convo/fight with him. i thought i'd feel better if i yelled at him but i don't. whenever i'm pissed off with someone i take it as a time to take out my agressions about him on other people. (that's different than the him i got in a fight with incase u didn't catch that.) i feel bad now, i was mean. but what he did was mean too.
i'm going to update friends only in awhile...
him: juli baker please tell me were still friends
Xxm julianna lxX: um
Xxm julianna lxX: not really
him: :-(
Xxm julianna lxX: and just so u know its not the fact that we broke up, its the fact that u fucking waited till there to do it. i cant go to any of the other dances this year so thanks for being a dick and fucking ruining one of my last high school experiences
him: sorry
Xxm julianna lxX: u dont mean that so dont say it
him: no im sorry
Xxm julianna lxX: no you fucking arent
Xxm julianna lxX: seriously if u were sorry you wouldn't have done it in the first place
Xxm julianna lxX: if u gave half a shit about my feelings u woulda done it the morning of or the night before or even the day after
him: yea i should have and thats y im sorry i dont know what i was thinking
Xxm julianna lxX: fuck you
Xxm julianna lxX: i dont give a shit
Xxm julianna lxX: and that was pretty sweet skipping seminar
Xxm julianna lxX: how old are u like 4?
him: i was sick today :-\
Xxm julianna lxX: good well i hope u fucking die from it
him: thanks
Xxm julianna lxX: any fucking time
him: u said this wasnt going to happen :-(
Xxm julianna lxX: yea that's when i actually thought u were a nice person
Xxm julianna lxX: seriously... at my senior homecoming?
Xxm julianna lxX: what the hell
Xxm julianna lxX: i knew it was going no where so why the hell didn't u just do it at the football game
him: all i have to say is sorry
him: and what can i do to help u
Xxm julianna lxX: to help me? stop saying ur sorry cuz ur not
him: yea i am
him: and it didnt even look like you were that upset about it
him: and when i went to talk to you about it you said see u later and didnt even let me finish
Xxm julianna lxX: why the fuck would i stick around for a conversation like that
Xxm julianna lxX: and yea i was pissed about it. but i'm not going to have a bad time cuz my supposed boyfriend and best friend wants to be gay about stuff.
him: well i didnt meen to break up with you
him: it just turned out that way
Xxm julianna lxX: no u meant it
Xxm julianna lxX: or else it wouldn't have happened
him: how do know it was going to?
him: what if you would have stayed and talkted to me
Xxm julianna lxX: why would i stay and finish a conversation where i look like a total ass and where carmen is standing there listening to stuff that isn't really her business
him: thats y i wanted to talk to u alone
Xxm julianna lxX: welll if there was something else u needed to tell me tell me now
Xxm julianna lxX: it's not going to change anything but humopr me go ahead
him: well its to late cause i already ruined it :-\
Xxm julianna lxX: couldn't have been that important
him: ok
him: i dont understand y ure being like this 2 me
Xxm julianna lxX: YOU DUMPED ME AT MY SENIOR HOMECOMING AND MADE ME LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FOOL. AND THAT WHOLE SISTER THING YEA THAT JUST MAKES ME LOOK FUCKING WORSE
Xxm julianna lxX: THATS WHY I'M BEING LIKE THIS TO U
him: i was telling u the truth
him: best freinds is better then gf
Xxm julianna lxX: and there was the place to do it
Xxm julianna lxX: ?
Xxm julianna lxX: and u dont have to worry about whether best friends or girlfriends is better because we're not friends of any kind right now
him: wow
Xxm julianna lxX: yep
him: well i know i shouldnt have done it there and im sorry for that but i dont know why we cant be friends after all of the things you helped me threw in the summer
him: and this is like worse than any of it
him: looseing a gf is one thing but a best friend is way worse
Xxm julianna lxX: i was never your best friend
Xxm julianna lxX: u just said that bullshit
Xxm julianna lxX: u dont have a fucking clue what a best friend is
Xxm julianna lxX: and dont act like u care that we aren't friends anymore
Xxm julianna lxX: because u dont
him: well u helped me threw alot in the summer and for that u were the best peron i knew
him: what do u mean i dont care
him: if i didnt care i wouldnt be saying im sorry
him: but i care about you and your feelings thatsy im apologysing for being a jerk
Xxm julianna lxX: no
Xxm julianna lxX: u dont care about me and my feelings
him: then y am i spilling mine to u?
Xxm julianna lxX: and u dont really think that u were a jerk, ur just saying that because u think that's what i want to hear.
him: y r u calling me a liar
him: u have no idea how much i thought about this after the dance
him: i didnt even go to the party
him: and when i got home and read your away message i felt like calling you but i knew you didnt want to talk about it
him: so i just sat there for a while
him: and when i was at hockey and puting my jersey on the next day and saw # 89 i almost cryed thinking about it
him: and its been tearing at me untill now and now its worse cause were not even friends anymore
him: and now ure ignoring me
Xxm julianna lxX: i'm not ignoring
Xxm julianna lxX: u
him: did you read anything i just wrote?
Xxm julianna lxX: yes
Xxm julianna lxX: i dont know what u want me to say
Xxm julianna lxX: wow u didn't have a good time after homecoming
Xxm julianna lxX: i didn't have a good time there
Xxm julianna lxX: what a waste of money, eh
him: say something i can do so we can talk and be friends again and have what we used to have
Xxm julianna lxX: u can't
Xxm julianna lxX: say anything that's gonna make me change my mind
him: u were dancing with brett burdoe and u werent even upset
Xxm julianna lxX: cuz u know at least andy never did anything like that
Xxm julianna lxX: see i' could forgive andy almost anything
Xxm julianna lxX: but i can't forgive u this
Xxm julianna lxX: because u convinced me u were so much better than him
Xxm julianna lxX: and that ud never hurt me like he hurt me
Xxm julianna lxX: but u did and u probably did it intentionally
Xxm julianna lxX: at least 90% of the stuff he did he didn't do it intentionally
him: do u think im some sort of sicko
him: like it amuses me to see u feel bad
him: so u have any idea how bad it makes me feel to see other people sad
him: do*
Xxm julianna lxX: well i thought so
Xxm julianna lxX: but
Xxm julianna lxX: apparently a lot of what i thought about u was wrong
him: so areyou saying were just done?
him: never going to talk in person again?
Xxm julianna lxX: depends
him: on what?
Xxm julianna lxX: well if it was like the other day when u were in the snack bar line with all ur friends then no i wont talk to u but maybe we'll talk i don't know
him: the other day?
him: what do u meen?
Xxm julianna lxX: liek yesterday
Xxm julianna lxX: as soon as i got in the line u and ur friends got in so i left
him: well y did you do that?
Xxm julianna lxX: because u n ur friends got in the line
him: well y didnt you talk to me
him: i would have went aside with you if i saw u there
Xxm julianna lxX: what would we have to talk about
him: well first i would have sad im sorry
him: and asked you if we could start over our friendship
Xxm julianna lxX: oh
him: but i didnt even see u in the snack line
him: and im to chicken to walk over to your table cause ive seen nancy mad before
Xxm julianna lxX: it's not nancy i'd be worried about
him: yea ure prolly right
him: but can u please forgive me?
Xxm julianna lxX: no
Xxm julianna lxX: not right now anyway
him: well than it looks liek im going to have to come over
Xxm julianna lxX: it'll be a waste of time
him: y would it be a waste of time to save our friendship?
Xxm julianna lxX: because it wont be saved
Xxm julianna lxX: i dont want to be friends. yea i might not have looked upset at homecoming but i wont let people see me have a shitty time. it's not the fact we broke up, yea ok maybe that's a little sad but whatever. i can't believe how u did it. that was the dumbest line ever. whatver i'm like ur sister but u had to do it there? i have like no time left at school. i had homecoming and graduation as my too big things left to remember and u had to go do something like that there
Xxm julianna lxX: i'm never going to forgive u for that
Xxm julianna lxX: and i dont want to be friends with someone that did something so mean
Xxm julianna lxX: i hate you right now. i hate u when ur around ur friends because u act like an idiot. u acted like an idiot there before and after we broke up
Xxm julianna lxX: and i dont want to be friends with someone like that
him: wow u said it again
Xxm julianna lxX: u acted like u were something so great and u turned out the worst of all of them
Xxm julianna lxX: yea well this time i mean it
Xxm julianna lxX: so there u go u wanted to talk and now u know how i feel
him: u hate me?
Xxm julianna lxX: for acting liek something u werent-- yea
him: so u really hate me
Xxm julianna lxX: maybe i'm just pissed
him: thats the worst thing someones ever said to me
him: so its over
him: no more juli baker
Xxm julianna lxX: guess so
him: bye
now i just feel bad...
i'm going to update friends only in awhile...
him: juli baker please tell me were still friends
Xxm julianna lxX: um
Xxm julianna lxX: not really
him: :-(
Xxm julianna lxX: and just so u know its not the fact that we broke up, its the fact that u fucking waited till there to do it. i cant go to any of the other dances this year so thanks for being a dick and fucking ruining one of my last high school experiences
him: sorry
Xxm julianna lxX: u dont mean that so dont say it
him: no im sorry
Xxm julianna lxX: no you fucking arent
Xxm julianna lxX: seriously if u were sorry you wouldn't have done it in the first place
Xxm julianna lxX: if u gave half a shit about my feelings u woulda done it the morning of or the night before or even the day after
him: yea i should have and thats y im sorry i dont know what i was thinking
Xxm julianna lxX: fuck you
Xxm julianna lxX: i dont give a shit
Xxm julianna lxX: and that was pretty sweet skipping seminar
Xxm julianna lxX: how old are u like 4?
him: i was sick today :-\
Xxm julianna lxX: good well i hope u fucking die from it
him: thanks
Xxm julianna lxX: any fucking time
him: u said this wasnt going to happen :-(
Xxm julianna lxX: yea that's when i actually thought u were a nice person
Xxm julianna lxX: seriously... at my senior homecoming?
Xxm julianna lxX: what the hell
Xxm julianna lxX: i knew it was going no where so why the hell didn't u just do it at the football game
him: all i have to say is sorry
him: and what can i do to help u
Xxm julianna lxX: to help me? stop saying ur sorry cuz ur not
him: yea i am
him: and it didnt even look like you were that upset about it
him: and when i went to talk to you about it you said see u later and didnt even let me finish
Xxm julianna lxX: why the fuck would i stick around for a conversation like that
Xxm julianna lxX: and yea i was pissed about it. but i'm not going to have a bad time cuz my supposed boyfriend and best friend wants to be gay about stuff.
him: well i didnt meen to break up with you
him: it just turned out that way
Xxm julianna lxX: no u meant it
Xxm julianna lxX: or else it wouldn't have happened
him: how do know it was going to?
him: what if you would have stayed and talkted to me
Xxm julianna lxX: why would i stay and finish a conversation where i look like a total ass and where carmen is standing there listening to stuff that isn't really her business
him: thats y i wanted to talk to u alone
Xxm julianna lxX: welll if there was something else u needed to tell me tell me now
Xxm julianna lxX: it's not going to change anything but humopr me go ahead
him: well its to late cause i already ruined it :-\
Xxm julianna lxX: couldn't have been that important
him: ok
him: i dont understand y ure being like this 2 me
Xxm julianna lxX: YOU DUMPED ME AT MY SENIOR HOMECOMING AND MADE ME LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FOOL. AND THAT WHOLE SISTER THING YEA THAT JUST MAKES ME LOOK FUCKING WORSE
Xxm julianna lxX: THATS WHY I'M BEING LIKE THIS TO U
him: i was telling u the truth
him: best freinds is better then gf
Xxm julianna lxX: and there was the place to do it
Xxm julianna lxX: ?
Xxm julianna lxX: and u dont have to worry about whether best friends or girlfriends is better because we're not friends of any kind right now
him: wow
Xxm julianna lxX: yep
him: well i know i shouldnt have done it there and im sorry for that but i dont know why we cant be friends after all of the things you helped me threw in the summer
him: and this is like worse than any of it
him: looseing a gf is one thing but a best friend is way worse
Xxm julianna lxX: i was never your best friend
Xxm julianna lxX: u just said that bullshit
Xxm julianna lxX: u dont have a fucking clue what a best friend is
Xxm julianna lxX: and dont act like u care that we aren't friends anymore
Xxm julianna lxX: because u dont
him: well u helped me threw alot in the summer and for that u were the best peron i knew
him: what do u mean i dont care
him: if i didnt care i wouldnt be saying im sorry
him: but i care about you and your feelings thatsy im apologysing for being a jerk
Xxm julianna lxX: no
Xxm julianna lxX: u dont care about me and my feelings
him: then y am i spilling mine to u?
Xxm julianna lxX: and u dont really think that u were a jerk, ur just saying that because u think that's what i want to hear.
him: y r u calling me a liar
him: u have no idea how much i thought about this after the dance
him: i didnt even go to the party
him: and when i got home and read your away message i felt like calling you but i knew you didnt want to talk about it
him: so i just sat there for a while
him: and when i was at hockey and puting my jersey on the next day and saw # 89 i almost cryed thinking about it
him: and its been tearing at me untill now and now its worse cause were not even friends anymore
him: and now ure ignoring me
Xxm julianna lxX: i'm not ignoring
Xxm julianna lxX: u
him: did you read anything i just wrote?
Xxm julianna lxX: yes
Xxm julianna lxX: i dont know what u want me to say
Xxm julianna lxX: wow u didn't have a good time after homecoming
Xxm julianna lxX: i didn't have a good time there
Xxm julianna lxX: what a waste of money, eh
him: say something i can do so we can talk and be friends again and have what we used to have
Xxm julianna lxX: u can't
Xxm julianna lxX: say anything that's gonna make me change my mind
him: u were dancing with brett burdoe and u werent even upset
Xxm julianna lxX: cuz u know at least andy never did anything like that
Xxm julianna lxX: see i' could forgive andy almost anything
Xxm julianna lxX: but i can't forgive u this
Xxm julianna lxX: because u convinced me u were so much better than him
Xxm julianna lxX: and that ud never hurt me like he hurt me
Xxm julianna lxX: but u did and u probably did it intentionally
Xxm julianna lxX: at least 90% of the stuff he did he didn't do it intentionally
him: do u think im some sort of sicko
him: like it amuses me to see u feel bad
him: so u have any idea how bad it makes me feel to see other people sad
him: do*
Xxm julianna lxX: well i thought so
Xxm julianna lxX: but
Xxm julianna lxX: apparently a lot of what i thought about u was wrong
him: so areyou saying were just done?
him: never going to talk in person again?
Xxm julianna lxX: depends
him: on what?
Xxm julianna lxX: well if it was like the other day when u were in the snack bar line with all ur friends then no i wont talk to u but maybe we'll talk i don't know
him: the other day?
him: what do u meen?
Xxm julianna lxX: liek yesterday
Xxm julianna lxX: as soon as i got in the line u and ur friends got in so i left
him: well y did you do that?
Xxm julianna lxX: because u n ur friends got in the line
him: well y didnt you talk to me
him: i would have went aside with you if i saw u there
Xxm julianna lxX: what would we have to talk about
him: well first i would have sad im sorry
him: and asked you if we could start over our friendship
Xxm julianna lxX: oh
him: but i didnt even see u in the snack line
him: and im to chicken to walk over to your table cause ive seen nancy mad before
Xxm julianna lxX: it's not nancy i'd be worried about
him: yea ure prolly right
him: but can u please forgive me?
Xxm julianna lxX: no
Xxm julianna lxX: not right now anyway
him: well than it looks liek im going to have to come over
Xxm julianna lxX: it'll be a waste of time
him: y would it be a waste of time to save our friendship?
Xxm julianna lxX: because it wont be saved
Xxm julianna lxX: i dont want to be friends. yea i might not have looked upset at homecoming but i wont let people see me have a shitty time. it's not the fact we broke up, yea ok maybe that's a little sad but whatever. i can't believe how u did it. that was the dumbest line ever. whatver i'm like ur sister but u had to do it there? i have like no time left at school. i had homecoming and graduation as my too big things left to remember and u had to go do something like that there
Xxm julianna lxX: i'm never going to forgive u for that
Xxm julianna lxX: and i dont want to be friends with someone that did something so mean
Xxm julianna lxX: i hate you right now. i hate u when ur around ur friends because u act like an idiot. u acted like an idiot there before and after we broke up
Xxm julianna lxX: and i dont want to be friends with someone like that
him: wow u said it again
Xxm julianna lxX: u acted like u were something so great and u turned out the worst of all of them
Xxm julianna lxX: yea well this time i mean it
Xxm julianna lxX: so there u go u wanted to talk and now u know how i feel
him: u hate me?
Xxm julianna lxX: for acting liek something u werent-- yea
him: so u really hate me
Xxm julianna lxX: maybe i'm just pissed
him: thats the worst thing someones ever said to me
him: so its over
him: no more juli baker
Xxm julianna lxX: guess so
him: bye
now i just feel bad...