..i'm sorry.
Who ever said it's better to have loved and lost then never love at all must have been retarted.
Crying every 5 seconds out of no where is no fun. I feel so empty..like i've lost part of me. all i have wanted for the last 2 years was for things to workout. i've made so many mistakes and i still manage to amaze myself by fucking up again. bigger everytime. i don't even understand how i fuck things up worse and worse. the thing i loved more than anything, what i wanted more than anything doesn't want anything to do with me. it hurts so much when you know that you've hurt the person that has meant so much to you for so long. i wish things would have been different. i wish i wouldn't have made stupid mistakes. i wish i was a better person :'(. i wish i didn't hurt my best friend. i wish things could still work out. i wish he knew how much i love him/care about him. but nothing will change anything anymore and nothing i say will affect anything. i wish i could say something to help the situation, but i can't. i fucked up big time this time..and now i have to live with not knowing what we could have been. ....i've lost the best part of my day =(, and the only person that's loved me unconditionally :'(.
Everytime something happened b/t us we made it through, even when i thought we wouldn't..now i just don't know. all i really know was we were special. and no matter what i always have that little bit of faith that things will work out, and i hope a miracle occurs, even though everyone thinks he can do better =(.
We were perfect. and when things got bad, we made it. and when things got worse, we made it. now i don't know if i can NOT have him in my life. I try to be okay without him. so far its not working at all. i just breakdown. everynight is the same "emo" night. i hate myself. and it doesn't help that EVERY thing around me reminds me of him. songs, ranch dressing, words, movies everything. maybe i should get rid of old things, but i just can't. :[ and hes leaving, and i can't even say goodbye.
imissyoualready.
Crying every 5 seconds out of no where is no fun. I feel so empty..like i've lost part of me. all i have wanted for the last 2 years was for things to workout. i've made so many mistakes and i still manage to amaze myself by fucking up again. bigger everytime. i don't even understand how i fuck things up worse and worse. the thing i loved more than anything, what i wanted more than anything doesn't want anything to do with me. it hurts so much when you know that you've hurt the person that has meant so much to you for so long. i wish things would have been different. i wish i wouldn't have made stupid mistakes. i wish i was a better person :'(. i wish i didn't hurt my best friend. i wish things could still work out. i wish he knew how much i love him/care about him. but nothing will change anything anymore and nothing i say will affect anything. i wish i could say something to help the situation, but i can't. i fucked up big time this time..and now i have to live with not knowing what we could have been. ....i've lost the best part of my day =(, and the only person that's loved me unconditionally :'(.
Everytime something happened b/t us we made it through, even when i thought we wouldn't..now i just don't know. all i really know was we were special. and no matter what i always have that little bit of faith that things will work out, and i hope a miracle occurs, even though everyone thinks he can do better =(.
We were perfect. and when things got bad, we made it. and when things got worse, we made it. now i don't know if i can NOT have him in my life. I try to be okay without him. so far its not working at all. i just breakdown. everynight is the same "emo" night. i hate myself. and it doesn't help that EVERY thing around me reminds me of him. songs, ranch dressing, words, movies everything. maybe i should get rid of old things, but i just can't. :[ and hes leaving, and i can't even say goodbye.
imissyoualready.