i sometimes just cry for no reason.
so yesterday we had a five hour
chorus rehersal after school.
which pretty much sucked.
then today sucked even more.
mrs newton sucks as a teacher
and i want to kill her. she
favors the people who she
doesnt know cheats on every
friggen test. so we went to the
library and i was just pretty
much hysterical. not even
because i got a 74. because i
actually try in the class. and
she doesnt like me. but her
"favorites" who i hated before
history suck as well. so i was
crying for probably an hour in
the library. and i dont even need
to be taking that class yet. im a
sophomore in history 2. most sophomores
are only in history 1. so i could just
drop it and take it next year. whats
it actually worth now?
and then algebra. and i wanted
to cry again. because sarah was
asking me what was wrong. and i
couldnt tell her. and i just need
people to listen to me. because im
not mentally able to hold it inside.
and then biology. i walk in to find
i got a sixty five on a quiz. and we took
another one today . and i know i
failed it. and i dont get ANYTHING we
are doing right now. and i try to ask
for help and she treats me like an idiot.
yeah its an honors class. but im not
supposed to get everything we learn
school is so hard right now. as stated
in the last entry. i have 2 research
papers to get done the 14th and 21st.
and then my economics project of course.
and im just slacking off in all of my
classes. and i know i need to work hard.
i want to be in the top ten percent of my
class. and im about 10 spots away. and it
doesnt seem like a lot. but thats ten people
i need to be smarter than to be 10%.
so after biology i was crying again to abel.
and then lunch and i wanted to cry again
but couldnt. and then chorus and that sucks.
because im on the friggen tree again. and its
going to be just like last year when there are
five microphones infront of the "special people" risers
and the god damn tree is 20 feet tall and there isnt
one microphone. this is the time of year i hate
chorus the most. everyone on the tree are rejects.
including myself. and then economics. and that
class usually makes me happy. pshh not today.
i almost cried again. and then after school
abel came to my locker and i just hugged him and
cried some more. i have no idea why im feeling
like i am. and it sucks. christmas is just around
the corner. im stressed out about school. we
have chorus concerts from 530-10 friday and saturday
and 11-7 sunday. and to top it all off. i found out that
some gothic skater boy emo fag is talking crap about me.
and i have no idea who this person is and it makes me
really sad. because i have no idea who he is and he
doesnt have any right coming off saying anything. and
abel wont tell me what he said. because its so bad.
people piss me off. i just want to be somewhere. where
i dont have to worry about anything and just be happy.
i want to be with my boyfriend and be isolated from the
world.
i just want to smile......
i love you baby
chorus rehersal after school.
which pretty much sucked.
then today sucked even more.
mrs newton sucks as a teacher
and i want to kill her. she
favors the people who she
doesnt know cheats on every
friggen test. so we went to the
library and i was just pretty
much hysterical. not even
because i got a 74. because i
actually try in the class. and
she doesnt like me. but her
"favorites" who i hated before
history suck as well. so i was
crying for probably an hour in
the library. and i dont even need
to be taking that class yet. im a
sophomore in history 2. most sophomores
are only in history 1. so i could just
drop it and take it next year. whats
it actually worth now?
and then algebra. and i wanted
to cry again. because sarah was
asking me what was wrong. and i
couldnt tell her. and i just need
people to listen to me. because im
not mentally able to hold it inside.
and then biology. i walk in to find
i got a sixty five on a quiz. and we took
another one today . and i know i
failed it. and i dont get ANYTHING we
are doing right now. and i try to ask
for help and she treats me like an idiot.
yeah its an honors class. but im not
supposed to get everything we learn
school is so hard right now. as stated
in the last entry. i have 2 research
papers to get done the 14th and 21st.
and then my economics project of course.
and im just slacking off in all of my
classes. and i know i need to work hard.
i want to be in the top ten percent of my
class. and im about 10 spots away. and it
doesnt seem like a lot. but thats ten people
i need to be smarter than to be 10%.
so after biology i was crying again to abel.
and then lunch and i wanted to cry again
but couldnt. and then chorus and that sucks.
because im on the friggen tree again. and its
going to be just like last year when there are
five microphones infront of the "special people" risers
and the god damn tree is 20 feet tall and there isnt
one microphone. this is the time of year i hate
chorus the most. everyone on the tree are rejects.
including myself. and then economics. and that
class usually makes me happy. pshh not today.
i almost cried again. and then after school
abel came to my locker and i just hugged him and
cried some more. i have no idea why im feeling
like i am. and it sucks. christmas is just around
the corner. im stressed out about school. we
have chorus concerts from 530-10 friday and saturday
and 11-7 sunday. and to top it all off. i found out that
some gothic skater boy emo fag is talking crap about me.
and i have no idea who this person is and it makes me
really sad. because i have no idea who he is and he
doesnt have any right coming off saying anything. and
abel wont tell me what he said. because its so bad.
people piss me off. i just want to be somewhere. where
i dont have to worry about anything and just be happy.
i want to be with my boyfriend and be isolated from the
world.
i just want to smile......
i love you baby