Loving you is suicide (Faberry)
Fandom: Glee
Author: xLoveMitchiex
Pairing: Faberry
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Suicide, Character Death
Summary: Rachel suddenly felt like the air had been punched out of her chest. She pressed a hand to her stomach and stumbled backwards, not even noticing the woman asking her if she was ok. She didn´t know how she got into her car, or back to her house. The first thing she felt were her knees hitting her bedroom floor and the tears rolling down her cheeks. Quinn is dead.
Author´s note: Just something that came to me, usually I´m not one to write a lot of angst, but this one just had to be done. Prepare some tissues!
Rachel was staring down at the letter in her hand with a huge grin on her face.
Dear Miss Berry
We are very pleased to tell you that you´ve been accepted into NYADA.
We can´t wait to see you at our facilities for orientation.
Rachel almost couldn´t believe it, of course she had dreamed about getting into NYADA, but it still had seemed like a dream until now.
She needed to tell Kurt, but first Quinn needed to know. Quinn had always believed in her, and even if their relationship had been something they had never really defined, it was an unspoken promise that Quinn would follow her to New York.
Rachel could barely contain her excitement just thinking about it and within seconds she had grabbed her car keys and left the house.
Rachel was smiling the whole way to Quinn´s house, she was as happy as she had ever been. This was it, she was going to New York with Quinn and her dreams would come true!
I can´t believe it! She thought while pulling into Quinn´s street, and suddenly her smile faded.
There was a crowd of people gathered in front of Quinn´s house and Rachel could see the flashing blue lights of an ambulance. She pulled over and got out of the car, making her way across the street.
Her heart was beating loudly in her chest and she caught herself digging her fingernails into her palms. She stopped next to a woman that was standing in the back of the crowd and was repeatedly shaking her head.
“What…what happened?” Rachel asked and felt her own voice crack a little.
The woman, who must have been a neighbor, turned towards her and Rachel could see how shocked she was.
“She fell down the stairs and hit her head, I think she was dead immediately.” The woman sighed and pointed to Quinn´s house, where paramedics where carrying out someone on a stretcher. “Poor thing, she was way too young.”
Rachel faintly heard the last words the woman had said, because all her attention was drawn to the paramedics. Even though the corpse was in a body bag, Rachel knew that it could only be Quinn.
Quinn fell down the stairs.
Quinn hit her head.
Quinn was dead.
Rachel suddenly felt like the air had been punched out of her lungs. She pressed a hand to her stomach and stumbled backwards, not even noticing the woman asking her if she was ok.
She didn´t know how she got into her car, or back to her house. The first thing she felt were her knees hitting her bedroom floor and the tears rolling down her cheeks.
Quinn is dead.
No, Quinn couldn´t be dead, that couldn´t be true! They were going to go to New York together, they were going to move into an apartment and be happy!
Rachel began sobbing uncontrollably and leaned against the edge of her bed.
Quinn. Quinn. Quinn. Quinn.
That was all that on her mind, Quinn´s voice, Quinn´s smile, the last time she had seen her walking out of class yesterday.
“It´s not fair…” Rachel whispered. “Not fair…”
She didn´t know for how long she had stayed like this, but it didn´t really matter. Nothing mattered anymore now that Quinn was dead. She couldn´t go to New York without Quinn, what sense would it make to be in New York, to be a star, if she couldn´t share it with Quinn? There would be no one to come home to at the end of the day.
Rachel got up from the floor, her knees still a little shaky, and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
“I look horrible.” She bluntly said and almost laughed at her own statement. “Talk about drama queen…”
She shook her head and took one final look, brushing the hair out of her face. “Enough.” She finally said. There was no way she could live without Quinn, she had made her decision. And realizing that, she felt calmer that she thought she would. This was it, there would be no more crying. She might have been volatile in the past, but right now she felt more certain than she had ever felt before.
She looked down at the framed picture of her and Quinn on her desk and smiled.
“I love you.” She whispered and took the picture, placing it on her bed. She disappeared into the bathroom, brushed her hair and put on some make up to cover the traces of the tears.
Then she went back into her room and put on her favorite dress, the one she had worn to junior prom last year. After another look into the mirror she sat down at her desk and pulled out paper and a pen. She wrote two letters, one to her Dad´s and one to her Glee Club members. She knew that she should probably be crying, but her decision was so final, and it made her so calm that she only smiled at the memory of Kurt giving her the self made CD with her favorite musical songs she was putting into her CD player now.
Rachel was thankful that her Dad´s both had problems with sleeping, so there were enough sleeping pills in the house. She knew that there were lots of other ways to end her life, but she didn´t want to leave a mess for anyone. Nobody should have to clean up after her, it would just look like she was peacefully sleeping.
At first Rachel took as many pills as she could swallow and almost choked, then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
Everything is gonna be fine.
And suddenly she could hear Quinn´s voice. The voice that had yelled at her, insulted her, the voice that had called after her in the rain and then whispered “I love you.” Into her ear over and over again.
Rachel smiled and took one pill after the other this time, until there was none left.
She lowered herself onto her bed and pulled the picture of Quinn and her closer.
“I love you.” She whispered and closed her eyes, just in time with Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth belting out the last note of For Good.
When Mr. Shuester walked into Glee Club on Monday, he was greeted by a sight of misery. Only a few had even raised their heads to look at him and most of the kids had red eyes from crying.
“I can´t believe it…” Mercedes was repeating over and over again.
Kurt was bluntly staring into nothingness while Blaine kept stroking his arm.
“I know what happened is terrible guys.” His own voice sounded weak. “But her Dad´s gave me this letter they found in her room. It´s addressed to us.”
Finally everyone looked up and Mr. Shuester took a deep breath while opening the envelop.
Dear Glee Club, friends, family.
He paused and looked up again, not sure if he could continue. Nobody had even thought about this happening, there didn´t seem to be a reason for Rachel to do it.
Everyone was looking at him now and he knew that he had to continue, maybe there was an explanation in the letter.
I know you will all be shocked, but I don´t want to talk much about what happened, I just want you guys to know that I love you all and that without you High School would have been a lot worse. You guys became my family.
Sam and Mercedes, I wish you all the best, you´ll be great.
Kurt, you´ll make it big in New York, and I´m sorry I won´t be able to be there with you, but you have Blaine. He´s the best boyfriend you could wish for.
Mike and Tina, I´m pretty sure you guys will get married and live in a beautiful house together, and I wish you that all of your dreams come true.
Artie, I already see you directing shows at Broadway, you´re wonderful.
Puck, thank you for always being there for me, you´ll be a fantastic Dad to Beth and you´ll make her proud, I just know it.
Finn, thank you for all the wonderful memories, you made me who I was and I´m so thankful that I got to know you. Whatever you choose to be, you´ll be amazing at it.
And Santana, I know we didn´t always get along very well but you´re a strong person and you´ve been through a lot, so you deserve to be happy. I hope you and Brittany have an amazing life together, if you adopt a little baby girl and she turns out to be a good singer, maybe you would want to name her Rachel?!
They knew it was coming, but nobody had expected it to be Santana breaking out into a sob first.
Mr. Shuester looked up for a moment and saw Brittany putting her arms around her girlfriend.
He took another deep breath to finish the letter.
I love you guys so much, but I can´t live without Quinn. Seeing all the paramedics carrying out her body in that bag, as if she was nothing, it broke my heart.
I hope you all have a wonderful life, and that you won´t forget me, thanks for always being there for me.
Love, Rachel
Suddenly it was quiet and everyone froze.
“Wait…what?”
All heads turned around and the letter fell from Mr. Shuester´s hand.
“She thought it was me.” Quinn´s voice cut through the air. “She thought it was me who fell down the stairs and died, and not my mother.”
Author: xLoveMitchiex
Pairing: Faberry
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Suicide, Character Death
Summary: Rachel suddenly felt like the air had been punched out of her chest. She pressed a hand to her stomach and stumbled backwards, not even noticing the woman asking her if she was ok. She didn´t know how she got into her car, or back to her house. The first thing she felt were her knees hitting her bedroom floor and the tears rolling down her cheeks. Quinn is dead.
Author´s note: Just something that came to me, usually I´m not one to write a lot of angst, but this one just had to be done. Prepare some tissues!
Rachel was staring down at the letter in her hand with a huge grin on her face.
Dear Miss Berry
We are very pleased to tell you that you´ve been accepted into NYADA.
We can´t wait to see you at our facilities for orientation.
Rachel almost couldn´t believe it, of course she had dreamed about getting into NYADA, but it still had seemed like a dream until now.
She needed to tell Kurt, but first Quinn needed to know. Quinn had always believed in her, and even if their relationship had been something they had never really defined, it was an unspoken promise that Quinn would follow her to New York.
Rachel could barely contain her excitement just thinking about it and within seconds she had grabbed her car keys and left the house.
Rachel was smiling the whole way to Quinn´s house, she was as happy as she had ever been. This was it, she was going to New York with Quinn and her dreams would come true!
I can´t believe it! She thought while pulling into Quinn´s street, and suddenly her smile faded.
There was a crowd of people gathered in front of Quinn´s house and Rachel could see the flashing blue lights of an ambulance. She pulled over and got out of the car, making her way across the street.
Her heart was beating loudly in her chest and she caught herself digging her fingernails into her palms. She stopped next to a woman that was standing in the back of the crowd and was repeatedly shaking her head.
“What…what happened?” Rachel asked and felt her own voice crack a little.
The woman, who must have been a neighbor, turned towards her and Rachel could see how shocked she was.
“She fell down the stairs and hit her head, I think she was dead immediately.” The woman sighed and pointed to Quinn´s house, where paramedics where carrying out someone on a stretcher. “Poor thing, she was way too young.”
Rachel faintly heard the last words the woman had said, because all her attention was drawn to the paramedics. Even though the corpse was in a body bag, Rachel knew that it could only be Quinn.
Quinn fell down the stairs.
Quinn hit her head.
Quinn was dead.
Rachel suddenly felt like the air had been punched out of her lungs. She pressed a hand to her stomach and stumbled backwards, not even noticing the woman asking her if she was ok.
She didn´t know how she got into her car, or back to her house. The first thing she felt were her knees hitting her bedroom floor and the tears rolling down her cheeks.
Quinn is dead.
No, Quinn couldn´t be dead, that couldn´t be true! They were going to go to New York together, they were going to move into an apartment and be happy!
Rachel began sobbing uncontrollably and leaned against the edge of her bed.
Quinn. Quinn. Quinn. Quinn.
That was all that on her mind, Quinn´s voice, Quinn´s smile, the last time she had seen her walking out of class yesterday.
“It´s not fair…” Rachel whispered. “Not fair…”
She didn´t know for how long she had stayed like this, but it didn´t really matter. Nothing mattered anymore now that Quinn was dead. She couldn´t go to New York without Quinn, what sense would it make to be in New York, to be a star, if she couldn´t share it with Quinn? There would be no one to come home to at the end of the day.
Rachel got up from the floor, her knees still a little shaky, and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
“I look horrible.” She bluntly said and almost laughed at her own statement. “Talk about drama queen…”
She shook her head and took one final look, brushing the hair out of her face. “Enough.” She finally said. There was no way she could live without Quinn, she had made her decision. And realizing that, she felt calmer that she thought she would. This was it, there would be no more crying. She might have been volatile in the past, but right now she felt more certain than she had ever felt before.
She looked down at the framed picture of her and Quinn on her desk and smiled.
“I love you.” She whispered and took the picture, placing it on her bed. She disappeared into the bathroom, brushed her hair and put on some make up to cover the traces of the tears.
Then she went back into her room and put on her favorite dress, the one she had worn to junior prom last year. After another look into the mirror she sat down at her desk and pulled out paper and a pen. She wrote two letters, one to her Dad´s and one to her Glee Club members. She knew that she should probably be crying, but her decision was so final, and it made her so calm that she only smiled at the memory of Kurt giving her the self made CD with her favorite musical songs she was putting into her CD player now.
Rachel was thankful that her Dad´s both had problems with sleeping, so there were enough sleeping pills in the house. She knew that there were lots of other ways to end her life, but she didn´t want to leave a mess for anyone. Nobody should have to clean up after her, it would just look like she was peacefully sleeping.
At first Rachel took as many pills as she could swallow and almost choked, then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
Everything is gonna be fine.
And suddenly she could hear Quinn´s voice. The voice that had yelled at her, insulted her, the voice that had called after her in the rain and then whispered “I love you.” Into her ear over and over again.
Rachel smiled and took one pill after the other this time, until there was none left.
She lowered herself onto her bed and pulled the picture of Quinn and her closer.
“I love you.” She whispered and closed her eyes, just in time with Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth belting out the last note of For Good.
When Mr. Shuester walked into Glee Club on Monday, he was greeted by a sight of misery. Only a few had even raised their heads to look at him and most of the kids had red eyes from crying.
“I can´t believe it…” Mercedes was repeating over and over again.
Kurt was bluntly staring into nothingness while Blaine kept stroking his arm.
“I know what happened is terrible guys.” His own voice sounded weak. “But her Dad´s gave me this letter they found in her room. It´s addressed to us.”
Finally everyone looked up and Mr. Shuester took a deep breath while opening the envelop.
Dear Glee Club, friends, family.
He paused and looked up again, not sure if he could continue. Nobody had even thought about this happening, there didn´t seem to be a reason for Rachel to do it.
Everyone was looking at him now and he knew that he had to continue, maybe there was an explanation in the letter.
I know you will all be shocked, but I don´t want to talk much about what happened, I just want you guys to know that I love you all and that without you High School would have been a lot worse. You guys became my family.
Sam and Mercedes, I wish you all the best, you´ll be great.
Kurt, you´ll make it big in New York, and I´m sorry I won´t be able to be there with you, but you have Blaine. He´s the best boyfriend you could wish for.
Mike and Tina, I´m pretty sure you guys will get married and live in a beautiful house together, and I wish you that all of your dreams come true.
Artie, I already see you directing shows at Broadway, you´re wonderful.
Puck, thank you for always being there for me, you´ll be a fantastic Dad to Beth and you´ll make her proud, I just know it.
Finn, thank you for all the wonderful memories, you made me who I was and I´m so thankful that I got to know you. Whatever you choose to be, you´ll be amazing at it.
And Santana, I know we didn´t always get along very well but you´re a strong person and you´ve been through a lot, so you deserve to be happy. I hope you and Brittany have an amazing life together, if you adopt a little baby girl and she turns out to be a good singer, maybe you would want to name her Rachel?!
They knew it was coming, but nobody had expected it to be Santana breaking out into a sob first.
Mr. Shuester looked up for a moment and saw Brittany putting her arms around her girlfriend.
He took another deep breath to finish the letter.
I love you guys so much, but I can´t live without Quinn. Seeing all the paramedics carrying out her body in that bag, as if she was nothing, it broke my heart.
I hope you all have a wonderful life, and that you won´t forget me, thanks for always being there for me.
Love, Rachel
Suddenly it was quiet and everyone froze.
“Wait…what?”
All heads turned around and the letter fell from Mr. Shuester´s hand.
“She thought it was me.” Quinn´s voice cut through the air. “She thought it was me who fell down the stairs and died, and not my mother.”