About a girl
I was thinking about how little I'm going to be able to get Aisy this year. I absolutely hate that. I always try and get her lots and lots of stuff. I want Christmas to be magical for her. I want her to have fond memories of every Christmas.
But she really doesn't seem to mind if she doesn't get a lot. She is so incredibly mature. Even more than some 20-somethings I know/have known.
Sometimes we'll go to the store and she'll want something and I have to tell her no, that I don't have enough money for it. And she's not like those annoying, spoiled kids who throws themselves to the ground, screaming until mommy or daddy gives in. She just shrugs and says, "That's ok. We can get it another time." What 5 year old do you know who would say that?
I cannot believe I have thus far raised such an amazing human being. She's going to be a brilliant, wonerful, loving individual all her life. And I just hope I can be there to see all of the amazing things she is going to do. And I pray she get's the opportunity to do those amazing things. God really blessed me by giving me the honor of birthing and raising her.
I want her back. I really do. But sleeping on a couch, living in a house where lots of weed is smoked, is not the life or the enviorment I want her in.
I'm getting more hours at work and I'm confident that I will be kept on after the holidays. I will work my butt off to get a place for us and to make it a home.
I miss her so much.
And it makes me regret every spanking and every time I've ever yelled. There really is no reason to yell. I don't want her to be the type of person who screams in an argument. I want her to be the type of person who can keep their cool and speak at a normal volume when in one of those situations. That always seems to work better. And it can really irritate the other person. haha
One of the things I hate about her living with Bryan is the fact that he is not a Christian and I vowed to raise her in the way God sees fit. To speak to her regularly about the Lord. And to pray with her.
Every Christmas and every Easter, I tell her what those holidays are really about. And she remembers a little more each year. And she has said how much she loves Jesus which makes my heart swell and brings a tear to my eye.
I love my little girl. Being a parent...you'd never know you could love so much. And it allows you to see how much God loves you.
In other news, Eric and I are going to the mountains Friday night. And we'll be back Sunday night. I'm so excited. We're going to cook together, hot tub and just be together. And I'll get to sleep in an actual bed. Yessss! I can't tell you how crappy it is sleeping on a couch with a hip out of place. And not being petite...ugh. I wake up several times to turn. It's terrible. Sleeping with him though, I sleep like a rock. It's going to be a good weekend.
But she really doesn't seem to mind if she doesn't get a lot. She is so incredibly mature. Even more than some 20-somethings I know/have known.
Sometimes we'll go to the store and she'll want something and I have to tell her no, that I don't have enough money for it. And she's not like those annoying, spoiled kids who throws themselves to the ground, screaming until mommy or daddy gives in. She just shrugs and says, "That's ok. We can get it another time." What 5 year old do you know who would say that?
I cannot believe I have thus far raised such an amazing human being. She's going to be a brilliant, wonerful, loving individual all her life. And I just hope I can be there to see all of the amazing things she is going to do. And I pray she get's the opportunity to do those amazing things. God really blessed me by giving me the honor of birthing and raising her.
I want her back. I really do. But sleeping on a couch, living in a house where lots of weed is smoked, is not the life or the enviorment I want her in.
I'm getting more hours at work and I'm confident that I will be kept on after the holidays. I will work my butt off to get a place for us and to make it a home.
I miss her so much.
And it makes me regret every spanking and every time I've ever yelled. There really is no reason to yell. I don't want her to be the type of person who screams in an argument. I want her to be the type of person who can keep their cool and speak at a normal volume when in one of those situations. That always seems to work better. And it can really irritate the other person. haha
One of the things I hate about her living with Bryan is the fact that he is not a Christian and I vowed to raise her in the way God sees fit. To speak to her regularly about the Lord. And to pray with her.
Every Christmas and every Easter, I tell her what those holidays are really about. And she remembers a little more each year. And she has said how much she loves Jesus which makes my heart swell and brings a tear to my eye.
I love my little girl. Being a parent...you'd never know you could love so much. And it allows you to see how much God loves you.
In other news, Eric and I are going to the mountains Friday night. And we'll be back Sunday night. I'm so excited. We're going to cook together, hot tub and just be together. And I'll get to sleep in an actual bed. Yessss! I can't tell you how crappy it is sleeping on a couch with a hip out of place. And not being petite...ugh. I wake up several times to turn. It's terrible. Sleeping with him though, I sleep like a rock. It's going to be a good weekend.