What I often find
I often find myself the black sheep... even amongst the black sheep themselves. I feel awkward at school, home, work, around friends...etc. I feel like I'm always getting in the way, or saying something wrong. Not like it's some pathetic delusion but the truth. I wouldn't even know where to begin when it comes to that... just a thought that crosses
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but better late then never I guess.
The options aren't always the types of things you want to hear, but they are choices none-the-less. I've beaten myself into the hole I've mentally dug countless times, and while it is not always easy to crawl out of, it gets easier in time. Never lose faith in yourself and your ability. Know that you can do anything you set your mind to. Without accepting that, you automatically cut yourself short and condemn yourself to false parameters, or borders you made yourself that you can not get across. So have faith.
Once you have it in you to realize that the feelings are just feelings and not necessarily reality, it's time to figure out what you are going to do about it. This is when the options kick in.
You can come to the realization the feelings are there for a reason, give in to their reality, and forge whatever path you wish from there. Or, you can side against them, and chock them up to a bad week / month / year, and decide you don't like how it makes you feel, so you are going to move on with or without them being a reality. Decide that what you want is something more, and take it because you want it. You can do it if you want to.
You are not alone.
It may feel that way at times, or even constantly,
but you do have people there.
I realize I have been working ridiculous hours and havn't seen you in too long, but you know that was never my intent... just my own personal flaws. I know we have been distant, but don't think for a second that I stopped caring about you, if as a friend if nothing more.
If you ever called me and said you needed to talk about anything at all, there is no doubt I would be there the next moment I could.
Hope all is well~
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