Recency Bias: Week 11 LJ Idol
The first rule of wedding planning: you don't talk about wedding planning to just anyone.
Marissa discovered that rule of thumb soon after she was engaged as she attended a holiday party crowded with friends, coworkers and acquaintances that she was familiar with. People swarmed her immediately tugging on her hand to see her ring. As they oohed and aah-ed over her ring, the questions kept coming:
"When are you getting married?"
"Where are you getting married?"
And of course the inevitable, "I'm going to be invited to your wedding, right?"
It was that question that always got her. No, she wasn't going to invite Greta, the 60 some year old secretary, who smelled of mold and talked to her flowers like they were her children on a daily basis. And no, she wasn't going to invite Tawni, her former sorority sister, who spread rumors about her in college. And she definitely wasn't going to invite Billy, her 3rd cousin, who confused her with her sister and half the time tried to flirt with her! It seemed just because she was getting married, people expected her to invite them to her wedding like she was their best friend!
She learned quickly only to invite people that she talked to regularly (that were sane of course) and make sure to only talk about her wedding to those people!
The second rule of wedding planning: pick your bridesmaids wisely.
In high school, when she used to doodle hearts and stars all over her homework assignments with the words "M.T.+ C.H 4eva" (Marissa Turner + Caleb Hobbes, her high school crush who never did go anywhere with his life and now was a father to 6 kids all by different mothers - she knew this from the Maury episode he was on!), she had planned out her bridesmaids. There was Callie and Mollie, her best friends as well as Naomi and Alison from her volleyball team who she just adored, and of course her sisters, Susannah and Alexa because they would kill her otherwise! This was her set list throughout high school and college.
Now, she was 28 years old and of course, Susannah and Alexa were still going to be her bridal party because quite simply, she didn't want to die! And she was still best friends with Callie so there was no question about that. Mollie ended up becoming a drug addict, Naomi moved to Argentina, and Alison and her had a falling out after she walked in on Alison in bed with her ex-boyfriend. There went her bridesmaid list!
Now besides Callie, Susannah, and Alexa, her bridesmaids included Leah, a friend who she met at work as well Sophie and Izzy, her sorority sisters. It's all about who's with you now, she learned.
The final rule of wedding planning, she discovered: after seeing a million and one dresses and meeting with even more vendors, the dresses and numbers and images will blur together until you can't remember if you're coming or going.
She didn't realize until closer to the wedding that all the vendors that she chose as well as the dress she chose: were all the ones she met with or saw last. The first vendors and dresses never stood a chance which was kind of a shame because she vaguely remembered liking the first cake she tried! It was red velvet...or butter cream...or chocolate. Okay, maybe she didn't really remember. .
The sad thing, Marissa wondered as she stared at the invitations, if in 10 years from now if she were to redo her wedding day all over again, would she end up making the same decisions? Would the same people be invited? Would she still be in touch with Sophie and Izzy and Leah or would she wish the new people in her future life could have been in her bridal party? She knew from talking to Callie that Callie didn't speak to her maid of honor anymore and Alexa didn't talk to half her guest list anymore and it scared her to think she could very well not have the same people in her life.
She realized a new rule at that moment:
The first rule of life: It's all about the here and now.