hm
hhmmmm....long time...eh? i dout anyone reads this but if u do .. thank u .. im sorta..nae..really confused with alot of things.. like friendships....i hope my friends still like me...i donno why i care so much ... maybe cause i love my friends... i donno.. ive just been sitting in ym room thinking alot now since ive been learning more about life and stuff... im really like a virgen baby child .. like i try not to smoke and stuff im scared to ... matt and nicola tried to make me but i didnt want to smoke ... is that stupid is that beaing a baby ? i think its that im scared cause my moms been so protective that im scared to try things... is that it? am i overprotected? am i overprotecting myself i dont know what to do .. i donno if to go witht he croud or stay with my ways..... i dont wanna grow up i dont wanna face stuff....but i have to right? ...when ever i look at adams pictures i cry cause i never got to say bye... sorry adam ... sorry joey... sorry blake....sorry jimmy...sorry paul(pj or 'puge'lol)...sorry james...sorry nik and the other nick...sorry dylan...sorry david(lol)...sorry lance!!...sorry..i wanted to say bye but i couldnt .... they made me leave!! right when the bell rang !!!! AHHHHHHHH anyway adam ur pictures are on my wall .joey i need something from u. paul..ill probley see u soon.. JIMMY IM NOT GOTHIC!!..lordy.. anyway i just hope u guys all know how much u all mean to me ! u all are awesome and ill miss u so much until next summer ..see i wanna run away but i wanna take all of u with me i wanna take camp i wanna take amanda , raquel , shroom, kraven, andy, everyone whos close to my heart. even thought i dont talk to u all very often --which i do try-- i stil love u all u may not see it but its there.. im scared... scared..of..beaing left behind...scared that im not fitting in. am i fitting in do i? .. i think i question too much...i think i should go with the flow of thing but i need answers ... and i need them now..... im so confused im only a 13 year old child... i dont know anything .. trust me im no where ear smart......i just want answers ... i want peopleto be with me i feel alone ..i need u all...i need amanda....shes the only one who knows me ....(u dot oraquel but ur busy with andy i dont want to interfear) i think i interfear too much.... anyway i going to go now love u allll!!!!!!!!!! please help me and if u are reading this ... u just took a big step in to me... love u all so much even if i dont know u ..<3<3<3