(no subject)
Originally, I was going to wait until the official one-year anniversary of my last LJ entry until I entered in the newest, latest, testimony of my life. However, due to techincal difficulties (or Cara spending the night at my house last night and us laffing our azzes off til 430), I decided what the hell. This year has past by me so fast I feel as if it were surreal. Do I really have a boyfriend, and have I really had one for the past 9 months?! Looking back on my past entries from the 9th and even 8th grade, it seems as though I was thouroughly convinced that the possibilities of somebody that I was infatuated (or obsessed) with feeling the same way about me was a monsterously radical idea. After everything throughout the past year, do I not only have my 2 best friends from before, but have I also gained a new link to our friendship chain? -possibly the gayest thing Ive ever said. Anyways, I remember seeing on somebodys MySpace bulletin--yes, I know what you're thinking--that "10th grade was a year of 'Drama, drama, drama!!'" and I remember thinking no way, I'm above drama. I am not a stupid little girl any longer and I am too sophisticated and worldly to let the aspirations of the petty weaken and lower me down to their levels. Well, as it turns out (little to my surprise), I am far from the sophisticated, worldly lady that I was convinced I had become after one year of high school. Invincible, I was not. I became sucked into the world of an all girl's school, one filled with hook-up lists, ex-boyfriend stealing friends and plans that just never did seem to work out as well as anticipated. It was a time of separation as well. After experiencing what was and is my first 'real' boyfriend, I was completely thrown off balance. How do I make time for both friends AND boyfriends? Well, turns out that scheduling plans and balancing friends and boyfriends is NOT my forte. I am completely willing to admit that 99.9% of the reason that my friends and I experienced a period of trial separation was due to me. I was thrown into a vortex where my life consisted of school, hockey, work, and boyfriends. I thought that schedule seemed pretty full in itself, but it was in fact missing one vital link-friends. No matter how perfect somebody and their significant other may think they are together, it is imperative that they each are allowed time to spend alone with their own friends--a lesson I had to learn the hard way. However, I have come from the experience wiser and, hopefully, with a better sense of time management. Although I am sure that the phrase "Absense makes the heart grow fonder" is related to boyfriends and girlfriends, I am fairly confident that the same phrase can be very accuratly applied to the relationship between my friends and myself. After spending more time with them over the past couple of weeks, I have come to realize just how much I miss them being an important part of my life. I miss them, in fact, being my life. I miss the walks, the talks, the stupid plans which always always ALWAYS failed, the angst, the bitchiness, the removal from everybody else and society as a whole, the band t-shirts, the ice cream, the video recordings from our favorite Sal DiCaro, the friday night complaining sessions, the holidays, the thousands and thousands of disposable cameras and all the pictures that comprise our friendship over the past several years. It seems ironic to me that once we finally jumped onto a sort of 'bandwagon' and we all finally got digital cameras, it seemed as if we didnt even need them anymore. It's like as soon I bought the damn thing, I stopped needing to take pictures. That depressed the h-bomb out of me. Oh well. After everything that has happened over the past school year, I know that everything is going to be OK. No, better then OK...it's going to be fucking amazing. I've got all the ingredients I need for a kick-ass summer and I know that everything is finally alright in every aspect of my life. I'm not saying there won't be any more disagreements or that life is now perfect and dandy, all I'm saying is that I'm ready to move on from the stupidness that was 10th grade. I find it impossible to believe that I will already be a Junior in high school next year. However, if it's as good as I know, I KNOW this summer will be, then all I have to say is--bring it on.
On another note, as if this entry isn't long enough, I must make a few more comments about the 10th grade before I completely forget and move on. 10th grade...what a doozy. If there EVER was a year of firsts, this was it by about 10912034-times. Like, basically almost anything you could think of. I wish I could make a list for myself to remember when I'm a senior and I read back on all these entries, but that would be like ghet to the tenth degree. In every, single corner of my life shot out firstsfirstsfirstsfirstsfirsts. I am not by ANY means whatsoever the same person I was a year ago, and I'm pretty sure I'm a lot farther from Heaven now then I was then, which is by no means anything that I'm proud of saying. But you know what....I like me. I think I'm fucking sexy and if you or anybody you know have a problem with it, then you all can just BLOW ME. Nah, I'm kidding, I'll take a rain check on that. But fa'reel....I'm okay with who I am. I think everything I've done and been through has been a learning experience and has made me come to the realizations I've made and have also made me the person I am today. And I like it. So you know what......suck it bias. Life is fuckin' good.
On another note, as if this entry isn't long enough, I must make a few more comments about the 10th grade before I completely forget and move on. 10th grade...what a doozy. If there EVER was a year of firsts, this was it by about 10912034-times. Like, basically almost anything you could think of. I wish I could make a list for myself to remember when I'm a senior and I read back on all these entries, but that would be like ghet to the tenth degree. In every, single corner of my life shot out firstsfirstsfirstsfirstsfirsts. I am not by ANY means whatsoever the same person I was a year ago, and I'm pretty sure I'm a lot farther from Heaven now then I was then, which is by no means anything that I'm proud of saying. But you know what....I like me. I think I'm fucking sexy and if you or anybody you know have a problem with it, then you all can just BLOW ME. Nah, I'm kidding, I'll take a rain check on that. But fa'reel....I'm okay with who I am. I think everything I've done and been through has been a learning experience and has made me come to the realizations I've made and have also made me the person I am today. And I like it. So you know what......suck it bias. Life is fuckin' good.