(no subject)
Lately.. it's just been hard. Not kinda hard.. but hard. I mean I haven't felt this kinda pain in a while. Today was ok.. I mean I haven't even cried all day. I even saw him and still didn't cry but then I start reading Jayde's journal.. and there's God Bless the Broken Road. Haha. That just so happens to be a song I sent to Brandon one day. And that was really how I felt at the time.. I just can't be okay anymore. I can't be myself. I'm not the same person I was with him. Alot of people don't understand my pain, and honestly I don't care. I could care less if anyone cares anymore.. cause who can I believe anyway.
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
If Only I had Hazel eyes.. This song is perfect. Nothing describes how i feel right now more. I mean nothin at all. I haven't done alot latley. Working has consumed my time. I had fun in Florida. It was like totally awesome. I wish I was back to that week right now. We had such a great time. Then as soon as I came back is when it happened. I really do love Brandon. He's everything I ever dreamed of in a guy. It's really been a while since I trusted a guy. But I thought he was the one. I thought I could trust him. I thought.. Wrong. When he said we should just be friends, I felt like my life was over. Andrea, Catherine, Vanessa, and Shambri (some) have really been supportive. Without them all at work with me for the first week I wouldn't be ok right now. And without Catherine and Andrea being there for me whenever i needed to text or call them has been great. I actually have friends who care about me and I'm so greatful to them. I love all my friends and God has really blessed me. Jayde is also a great friend too.. Wasn't tryin to leave ya out.. It was just hard to talk about it all and I'm sorry if I didn't give you a chance to help me. You are a great friend too girl!
I just wish that I could say I'm alright so much, but I just really can't. I miss him.. so much. I talked to Brandon 24/7. He was my best friend, my one and only throughout the past however long... I never felt so close to anyone and gettin used to him not being there for me whenever is just really hard. I told Brandon EVERYTHING.. He is just so amazing. I want to hate him.. I want to get over him, and talk bad about him.. but I just can't cause I care about him too much. I know everything will be ok, but right now it just can't be. Only time can heal my wounds and God. I'm ok around my friends, I mean I put on a happy face, and around Brandon. I just pretend like nothing ever happened, but when I'm by myself I just can not be alright. I cry alot, and I always try and have a friend to talk to. Right now I just feel that feeling in my thoat.. like i'm about to loose it again, and cry..
I went to the movies with Joey, Jayde, and Scott Saturday before work. It was fun.. It was good to be around them.. and I really liked the movie. But as soon as we walked out and I saw her.. Katie Kennedy.. I just wanted to freakin go crazy. I just want her to hurt him so bad.. I want him to feel my pain.. It's just not fair. Gah.. I just can't stand it. If they weren't around I would have cried. I held back tho.. I tried to be strong just like I have to be around him. I just thought he really cared..
I'm sorry if yall are tired of hearing about my pathetic life.. but I'm just not ok right now.. Sorry..
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
If Only I had Hazel eyes.. This song is perfect. Nothing describes how i feel right now more. I mean nothin at all. I haven't done alot latley. Working has consumed my time. I had fun in Florida. It was like totally awesome. I wish I was back to that week right now. We had such a great time. Then as soon as I came back is when it happened. I really do love Brandon. He's everything I ever dreamed of in a guy. It's really been a while since I trusted a guy. But I thought he was the one. I thought I could trust him. I thought.. Wrong. When he said we should just be friends, I felt like my life was over. Andrea, Catherine, Vanessa, and Shambri (some) have really been supportive. Without them all at work with me for the first week I wouldn't be ok right now. And without Catherine and Andrea being there for me whenever i needed to text or call them has been great. I actually have friends who care about me and I'm so greatful to them. I love all my friends and God has really blessed me. Jayde is also a great friend too.. Wasn't tryin to leave ya out.. It was just hard to talk about it all and I'm sorry if I didn't give you a chance to help me. You are a great friend too girl!
I just wish that I could say I'm alright so much, but I just really can't. I miss him.. so much. I talked to Brandon 24/7. He was my best friend, my one and only throughout the past however long... I never felt so close to anyone and gettin used to him not being there for me whenever is just really hard. I told Brandon EVERYTHING.. He is just so amazing. I want to hate him.. I want to get over him, and talk bad about him.. but I just can't cause I care about him too much. I know everything will be ok, but right now it just can't be. Only time can heal my wounds and God. I'm ok around my friends, I mean I put on a happy face, and around Brandon. I just pretend like nothing ever happened, but when I'm by myself I just can not be alright. I cry alot, and I always try and have a friend to talk to. Right now I just feel that feeling in my thoat.. like i'm about to loose it again, and cry..
I went to the movies with Joey, Jayde, and Scott Saturday before work. It was fun.. It was good to be around them.. and I really liked the movie. But as soon as we walked out and I saw her.. Katie Kennedy.. I just wanted to freakin go crazy. I just want her to hurt him so bad.. I want him to feel my pain.. It's just not fair. Gah.. I just can't stand it. If they weren't around I would have cried. I held back tho.. I tried to be strong just like I have to be around him. I just thought he really cared..
I'm sorry if yall are tired of hearing about my pathetic life.. but I'm just not ok right now.. Sorry..