Depressed as fuck
I am depressed as fuck and its almost Thanksgiving. But its just a holiday I mean its just another day nothing to expect to happen. I keep getting more news in my life everyday and this new guy I was talking too he wanted to know why I was depressed I told him and he split and doesnt wanna do nothing with me but the only thing he wants me to do is get naked on camera and play with myself but other then that he thinks im discusting. I dont care what others thinks and alot of people tell me to not to let them get to me and I am just so stupid. I tried cutting my rist last night mainly because I dont have anyone in my life. My family wont come around and I finally know why now. Everything is just a blur. I have suicide on my mind but I dont do it, tears falls down my face whenever I get more news. I am wondering why God put me on this earth. No one loves me anymore, I dont have any friends in my life. They say they care and whenever the come and meet me and talk to me, they say mean shit and never come back again cause I am either uncleaningless or I cant take care of myself. But I take care of myself all the time Im just so emotional. Im hurting all over so badly. My family wont come around because I cant take care of myself. They wont even call. Im not doing nothing wrong cept taking care of myself and taking care of my place. My landlord was just here two days ago and she never onced said nothing about my place being dirty. Whats wrong with me?