In order to distract myself from cleaning, here you go. . .
Sometimes I wish I could have the same ideas written about us. But what more can be said. Is this just because excitment is hardly there anymore? I have to work on the laziness and mundane. Both of which seem to follow me whereever I go; and I can only blame myself. In order to make change one has to put the the gears in motion. Sometimes I am successful at this but most of the time I am not. I bought a dry erase board to write down a "To Do" list for every day. It seemed to work the first couple days then I slowly stopped paying attention. Now it has fallen off the wall and is sitting on my messy bedroom floor. I can guess one of the uncrossed out things to do on the list is "clean your room."
I keep having dreams either about Marie being really upset at me for something, or dreams dealing with people from my past that I never want to see again. It is super obnoxious. This morning I had a dream that two of the individuals got a job at Target with me and where doing everything they could to get me fired. They kept lieing to my manager and I would keep getting called to the back room and talked to. Sometimes I have the ability to break away from the set plan of my dreams and do what I want. Maybe if I kill them the next time this happens they will no longer show up in my dreams. My fingers are crossed.
Yesterday I had a complicated eye appointment of sorts. I guess they wanted to check my eyes in a more up close manner to make sure I don't have any fluid draining into my eyes which could cause severe damage. Well I went in and they checked my vision. I had the nurse who is always super nice and fun; which was a relief. She told me that I must be having a good day with my eyes because I could see really well (I have good days where I can see super crisp and bad days where things are just somewhat blury.). Then I had my pupils dilated and headed to a small room. In this room a nurse I had never been with before took photographs of the inside of my eye.
Now let me put you in my shoes for a moment. Pretend as though your pupils are open bigger than they normally are. Not only this, but they do not close down due to light changes; i.e. even dimly light rooms are SUPER bright. Now after this imagine taking a really big flash from a professional camera and puting it right against your eye and flashing it over and over and over again. That is basically what I had to go through for a half hour.
The nurse snapped a ton of photos. And the more times I couldn't keep my eyes from blinking the more she had to take. After this I had to have dye injected in my veins. This was done to enhance the visibility of all the tiny veins in my eye so they could study each one and make sure they are working properly. So even more photos started being taken. Well after photo 20 or more I could hardly keep my eyes open no matter how hard I tried. This seemed to be annoying the nurse and she started getting this tone with me that I did not appreciate. I completely understood the fact that the dye goes through my system really quickly and she was trying to get as many photos as she could before this happend but she was taking them over and over adn over again. I didn't even have time to settle myself. She'd take one and I had to blink and right hwen I'd blink she'd be taking another one, then another one. Then would tell me that I wasn't holding my eyes open well enough and that we had to take even more. It really upset me because I know she had never had this done to her and couldn't possibly understand how overly difficult it was for me to keep my eyes open.
The whole procedure was incredibly frustrating and the attitude she seemed to be giving off to me did not help my annoyance level. I was quite happy to leave the place and get home.
She told me that my skin would turn a bright orange color from the dye and that my urin would be an outstanding yellow color. Well, my skin wasn't too orange, I just appeared to have a slight tan. But holy crap! When I went to pee it looked like I was peeing yellow paint. Not thick like paint but it was just solid yellow and made the water in the toilet look like i was pouring yellow paint into it. Crazy stuff.
Obviously I had to masturbate and see if my semen would be some fantastic color. No luck there.
After the appointment I took a long nap. I got call from Jeff to see if I could work. I could have but I didn't really want to. But I should have. I called him and told him about my eye appointment and that I couldn't really see small details. I offered to come in tonight (Saturday) if I wasn't at Steel re-painting the piercing room. He said that would be cool. So I may go in and pick up some extra hours. Which is always nice:)
I spent my Friday night baking pasta pizza, 3am brownies from scratch, and watching MST3K episodes on You Tube.
I guess I will get started on cleaning.
Things I need to work on:
-Watch less Television and more movies
-Spend less time on the computer (unless I am actually having good convos with people)
-Keep my room clean.
-Reading more.
-Writing more.
-Drawing more.
-Creating more stencils.
-Figuring out fun things for Marie and I to do.
-Save money.
-Eat healthy again.
-Focus quite a bit of my time on school.
-Start working out every day again (work doesn't count).
-Get my transfer shit together for BGSU
-Pay cellphone and Cable bill on time.
-Visit Marie as much as possible.
I keep having dreams either about Marie being really upset at me for something, or dreams dealing with people from my past that I never want to see again. It is super obnoxious. This morning I had a dream that two of the individuals got a job at Target with me and where doing everything they could to get me fired. They kept lieing to my manager and I would keep getting called to the back room and talked to. Sometimes I have the ability to break away from the set plan of my dreams and do what I want. Maybe if I kill them the next time this happens they will no longer show up in my dreams. My fingers are crossed.
Yesterday I had a complicated eye appointment of sorts. I guess they wanted to check my eyes in a more up close manner to make sure I don't have any fluid draining into my eyes which could cause severe damage. Well I went in and they checked my vision. I had the nurse who is always super nice and fun; which was a relief. She told me that I must be having a good day with my eyes because I could see really well (I have good days where I can see super crisp and bad days where things are just somewhat blury.). Then I had my pupils dilated and headed to a small room. In this room a nurse I had never been with before took photographs of the inside of my eye.
Now let me put you in my shoes for a moment. Pretend as though your pupils are open bigger than they normally are. Not only this, but they do not close down due to light changes; i.e. even dimly light rooms are SUPER bright. Now after this imagine taking a really big flash from a professional camera and puting it right against your eye and flashing it over and over and over again. That is basically what I had to go through for a half hour.
The nurse snapped a ton of photos. And the more times I couldn't keep my eyes from blinking the more she had to take. After this I had to have dye injected in my veins. This was done to enhance the visibility of all the tiny veins in my eye so they could study each one and make sure they are working properly. So even more photos started being taken. Well after photo 20 or more I could hardly keep my eyes open no matter how hard I tried. This seemed to be annoying the nurse and she started getting this tone with me that I did not appreciate. I completely understood the fact that the dye goes through my system really quickly and she was trying to get as many photos as she could before this happend but she was taking them over and over adn over again. I didn't even have time to settle myself. She'd take one and I had to blink and right hwen I'd blink she'd be taking another one, then another one. Then would tell me that I wasn't holding my eyes open well enough and that we had to take even more. It really upset me because I know she had never had this done to her and couldn't possibly understand how overly difficult it was for me to keep my eyes open.
The whole procedure was incredibly frustrating and the attitude she seemed to be giving off to me did not help my annoyance level. I was quite happy to leave the place and get home.
She told me that my skin would turn a bright orange color from the dye and that my urin would be an outstanding yellow color. Well, my skin wasn't too orange, I just appeared to have a slight tan. But holy crap! When I went to pee it looked like I was peeing yellow paint. Not thick like paint but it was just solid yellow and made the water in the toilet look like i was pouring yellow paint into it. Crazy stuff.
Obviously I had to masturbate and see if my semen would be some fantastic color. No luck there.
After the appointment I took a long nap. I got call from Jeff to see if I could work. I could have but I didn't really want to. But I should have. I called him and told him about my eye appointment and that I couldn't really see small details. I offered to come in tonight (Saturday) if I wasn't at Steel re-painting the piercing room. He said that would be cool. So I may go in and pick up some extra hours. Which is always nice:)
I spent my Friday night baking pasta pizza, 3am brownies from scratch, and watching MST3K episodes on You Tube.
I guess I will get started on cleaning.
Things I need to work on:
-Watch less Television and more movies
-Spend less time on the computer (unless I am actually having good convos with people)
-Keep my room clean.
-Reading more.
-Writing more.
-Drawing more.
-Creating more stencils.
-Figuring out fun things for Marie and I to do.
-Save money.
-Eat healthy again.
-Focus quite a bit of my time on school.
-Start working out every day again (work doesn't count).
-Get my transfer shit together for BGSU
-Pay cellphone and Cable bill on time.
-Visit Marie as much as possible.