(no subject)
Life's been a crazy King-Mamma-Bitch-Hurricane lately! And it ain't even all been bad! I haven't done JACK shit with the Eljay for a while, and I guess that's just because every time I sit on my ass I want to let my mind go into a blender AND BECOME A DEEEEEEEELICIOUS SLURPIE.
Things I did since last I posted (at least I think - I don't even remember my last entry, and I'm far too lazy to go and check since I've already begun typing):
1) Oh hai, I went to Beirut. Saw family I hadn't ever met, took pictures, and rode/saw ONLY one camel there my ENTIRE stay.
2) Went to Otakon. Con is still run like my left asshole having a bad day in a sandstorm, but seeing my friends - seeing SO many people I love - you just can't put a price-tag on that (it'll be late as a motherfucker, but I'll get a post-Otakon report up)
3) Little Honey got a job - and she works HARD for the money (waitressing). Money should get a little better in a month for both Joel and I, but for now...YEEEEEEEEAHHHH.... Limbo place - like, when you pay all your bills but one or two, and that one or two is something to the tune of $250, and you've got $50-$70. You know you can't pay it for another two weeks, so it's irresponsible, but you spend that money on little things to keep you sane - like Joel taking me to see "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World", and "The Other Guys" (which was PISS-IN-YOUR-PANTS-ASS-RANDOM-"THIS PLEASES ME"-FUNNY)
So things are trucking along. Although I find myself going between a really hopeful high, and a very bad low. I feel like I'm doing ok publicly with these feelings, but I feel bad because of how they come out of me at home. There's a few things that are really bothering me, concerning me, but rather than talking about them, I laugh them off with random shit, or snap at Joel rather than talking about them. I'm trying to figure out how to talk about them, but I feel like if I did, it would totally destroy where I am now, or any chance of getting out of the hole we're very slowly digging out of. I'm having a hard time getting things done I've been wanting to - like editing and posting photos from Beirut or Otakon - and I'm terribly embarassed, but I haven't mailed out HALF of the postcards I got in Beirut that I want to. They might even turn into belated holiday cards at this rate, lol. I'm just trying to keep up with the hobbies I know I enjoy, but have just kind of lost interest in due to this funk. I'd like to try to pick back up with a doctor to try to mess around with my medication again, but deep down I know I still have a lot of things that are still really fucking with me that I need to go through a therapy plan with. Again, I'm not NOT addressing this because I don't want to, I just really can't afford to. The doctor thing is going to need to happen soon though, because I'm getting to about a month left on the medicine - so I'm hoping inbetween the seven day work weeks I can find a sliding scale Psychiatrist to at least find a medical balance.
But that's enough for one night. In the meantime, I'll post a couple of photos (unedited, I'm sorry) of Otakon and of Beirut.
Again, I love you all for listening to me, laughing with me, and loving me. I really again can't properly address how much you mean to me.
Otakon:
Things I did since last I posted (at least I think - I don't even remember my last entry, and I'm far too lazy to go and check since I've already begun typing):
1) Oh hai, I went to Beirut. Saw family I hadn't ever met, took pictures, and rode/saw ONLY one camel there my ENTIRE stay.
2) Went to Otakon. Con is still run like my left asshole having a bad day in a sandstorm, but seeing my friends - seeing SO many people I love - you just can't put a price-tag on that (it'll be late as a motherfucker, but I'll get a post-Otakon report up)
3) Little Honey got a job - and she works HARD for the money (waitressing). Money should get a little better in a month for both Joel and I, but for now...YEEEEEEEEAHHHH.... Limbo place - like, when you pay all your bills but one or two, and that one or two is something to the tune of $250, and you've got $50-$70. You know you can't pay it for another two weeks, so it's irresponsible, but you spend that money on little things to keep you sane - like Joel taking me to see "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World", and "The Other Guys" (which was PISS-IN-YOUR-PANTS-ASS-RANDOM-"THIS PLEASES ME"-FUNNY)
So things are trucking along. Although I find myself going between a really hopeful high, and a very bad low. I feel like I'm doing ok publicly with these feelings, but I feel bad because of how they come out of me at home. There's a few things that are really bothering me, concerning me, but rather than talking about them, I laugh them off with random shit, or snap at Joel rather than talking about them. I'm trying to figure out how to talk about them, but I feel like if I did, it would totally destroy where I am now, or any chance of getting out of the hole we're very slowly digging out of. I'm having a hard time getting things done I've been wanting to - like editing and posting photos from Beirut or Otakon - and I'm terribly embarassed, but I haven't mailed out HALF of the postcards I got in Beirut that I want to. They might even turn into belated holiday cards at this rate, lol. I'm just trying to keep up with the hobbies I know I enjoy, but have just kind of lost interest in due to this funk. I'd like to try to pick back up with a doctor to try to mess around with my medication again, but deep down I know I still have a lot of things that are still really fucking with me that I need to go through a therapy plan with. Again, I'm not NOT addressing this because I don't want to, I just really can't afford to. The doctor thing is going to need to happen soon though, because I'm getting to about a month left on the medicine - so I'm hoping inbetween the seven day work weeks I can find a sliding scale Psychiatrist to at least find a medical balance.
But that's enough for one night. In the meantime, I'll post a couple of photos (unedited, I'm sorry) of Otakon and of Beirut.
Again, I love you all for listening to me, laughing with me, and loving me. I really again can't properly address how much you mean to me.
Otakon: