(no subject)

[xlive4herkiss]

$71.82 : first paycheck. (and then i realized how high gas prices are).

i love it when people compliment my hair.

anyway, i was doing traffic control for The Passion (theaters sold out like no other) and this girl is walking in and out of Theater 15 and smiling at me every time. so after like, three times, she comes up and automatically assumes that i am a christian. she says, 'so what fellowship do you belong to?'

i say, 'none.'

thats when she stops smiling so wide and becomes condecending towards me. do you believe in God? yes, i do. i admit i'm not a very devote christian and she walks away without a goodbye. so i'm polite and tell her i hope she enjoys the film. she replies 'you should follow God.'

thanks.

i want to believe. i really do. i dont know where to begin. my doubts cloud everything and i'm afraid of blind faith. fooling myself into believing when inside i still question. this drowning is the stage of indecision, suspended in the middle of giving in or rejecting. (mediocrity is the killer).

hey, blue eyes, you make my heart beat.