(no subject)
welcome to december, you crazy kids.
i cant sleep. dont want to go to school in a couple hours. it gets colder the longer i sit out here. so much shit going on with the family. money and relatives dont mix. a lot of emotions and yelling. mom looks really tired and sullen, lately. i hate it. i hate that i fuck up so much and it makes her more worried and more sad. i hate that i'm so fucking selfish and inconsiderate of everyone around me. and i'm so god damn stupid, i dont even see that i'm hurting them until it's too late. i'm sorry.
all of a sudden i'm tired of being here. tired of typing this shit out when it screams in my head. last week. driving home with the postal service loud and beautiful. i was so happy, felt complete. i took the long way back. came home and found out things i didnt want to know. right now, i want to be there. just driving. the long drive home.
hey. to hell with heaven.
i cant sleep. dont want to go to school in a couple hours. it gets colder the longer i sit out here. so much shit going on with the family. money and relatives dont mix. a lot of emotions and yelling. mom looks really tired and sullen, lately. i hate it. i hate that i fuck up so much and it makes her more worried and more sad. i hate that i'm so fucking selfish and inconsiderate of everyone around me. and i'm so god damn stupid, i dont even see that i'm hurting them until it's too late. i'm sorry.
all of a sudden i'm tired of being here. tired of typing this shit out when it screams in my head. last week. driving home with the postal service loud and beautiful. i was so happy, felt complete. i took the long way back. came home and found out things i didnt want to know. right now, i want to be there. just driving. the long drive home.
hey. to hell with heaven.