Fuck this,
I have a MySpace now.(mrsmanager2u@yahoo.com)
I think I like it better than Lj, to me it's easier to understand.
Plus tons of people from Ferley have it. SO yea.
Ilana, it's not neccesary for you to leave
stupid ass over dramatic messages to me about not calling back.
I always have intention of calling you back,
and when I don't it's because I am EXTREMELY busy trying to get my life together,
So I apologize for not being there every step of the you and Damien drama,
but unfortunately getting kicked out of your house with no money is a bigger issue to me.
Merry fucking Christmas everyone.
I am so tired of not standing up for myself.
I'm tired of you not caring.
It ends today.
I am tired of fighting over stupid ass drama,
My bad I though graduating meant getting away from all this bullshit,
I'm tired of the fog in my head
I'm sick of not understanding.
I'm even more sick and tired of trying to understand.
I'm tired of you making me feel this way.
Every day is a new guilt trip and I'm over it.
I'm 18 not 8, don't talk to me that way.
I'm tired of following you around when it's convenient for you to have a shadow.
I'm tired of being your shadow.
I'm tired of playing games.
I'm tired of trying to make you end these games.
I'm sick of this tangoing back and forth
between closer than ever and too far away.
Far away is far too cold.
And now it's seems even being close is too suffocating,
everytime I'm around you I'm angry.
You all make me so fucking angry.
Tell me one more tim what I'm not allowed to do
so I can tell you to FUCK OFF
You aren't my dad
You aren't anybody who can push me around any fucking more.
I'm so done with feeling like a little bitch because I won't defend myself.
I won't defend myself because it's easier just not to make you mad.
FUCK THIS I am tired of olding in how I feel because you have a problem with hearing the truth,
All I ever wanted was some attention.
And you couldn't give me attention
You couldn't give me affection
When we're around your stupid friends all of the sudden I don't matter anymore
THEN CARE ABOUT THEM.
Or care about her,
I can't believe I went looking for reassurance
Only to find you standing there with the knife in my back,
Go talk to her.
Let her fuck you over.
The pain must feel nice.
I should know because the same way she treated you,
Is the way you treat me.
It's addicting isn't it?
The taste in your mouth of bitter memories
and all the fights you cause
BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN"T LET US BE OK.
I'm tired of not being ok.
I'm tired of pretending.
I'm tired of sitting here and thinking things are good
When really they're so far from anything resembling nice it isn't even funny.
How could you make me feel this way and not care?
I've been hit by an emotional two ton truck
Why dont you kick it in reverse and back it up?
Razor blades couldn't to justice to the depth of this pain.
It's poisoned every ounce of me to the point it's hard to see.
You don't even see that you pick me up
only to throw me down and kick me in the face
You've hurt me to the point I've numbed the pain
and now I'm sitting through this looking glass watching you
make a fool of yourself because you just don't get it
YOU CAN'T HURT ME ANYMORE.
I could sit back and laugh
like you've done to me so many times before
IS IT THAT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND?
Stab that knife into my back
I'm done.
I think I like it better than Lj, to me it's easier to understand.
Plus tons of people from Ferley have it. SO yea.
Ilana, it's not neccesary for you to leave
stupid ass over dramatic messages to me about not calling back.
I always have intention of calling you back,
and when I don't it's because I am EXTREMELY busy trying to get my life together,
So I apologize for not being there every step of the you and Damien drama,
but unfortunately getting kicked out of your house with no money is a bigger issue to me.
Merry fucking Christmas everyone.
I am so tired of not standing up for myself.
I'm tired of you not caring.
It ends today.
I am tired of fighting over stupid ass drama,
My bad I though graduating meant getting away from all this bullshit,
I'm tired of the fog in my head
I'm sick of not understanding.
I'm even more sick and tired of trying to understand.
I'm tired of you making me feel this way.
Every day is a new guilt trip and I'm over it.
I'm 18 not 8, don't talk to me that way.
I'm tired of following you around when it's convenient for you to have a shadow.
I'm tired of being your shadow.
I'm tired of playing games.
I'm tired of trying to make you end these games.
I'm sick of this tangoing back and forth
between closer than ever and too far away.
Far away is far too cold.
And now it's seems even being close is too suffocating,
everytime I'm around you I'm angry.
You all make me so fucking angry.
Tell me one more tim what I'm not allowed to do
so I can tell you to FUCK OFF
You aren't my dad
You aren't anybody who can push me around any fucking more.
I'm so done with feeling like a little bitch because I won't defend myself.
I won't defend myself because it's easier just not to make you mad.
FUCK THIS I am tired of olding in how I feel because you have a problem with hearing the truth,
All I ever wanted was some attention.
And you couldn't give me attention
You couldn't give me affection
When we're around your stupid friends all of the sudden I don't matter anymore
THEN CARE ABOUT THEM.
Or care about her,
I can't believe I went looking for reassurance
Only to find you standing there with the knife in my back,
Go talk to her.
Let her fuck you over.
The pain must feel nice.
I should know because the same way she treated you,
Is the way you treat me.
It's addicting isn't it?
The taste in your mouth of bitter memories
and all the fights you cause
BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN"T LET US BE OK.
I'm tired of not being ok.
I'm tired of pretending.
I'm tired of sitting here and thinking things are good
When really they're so far from anything resembling nice it isn't even funny.
How could you make me feel this way and not care?
I've been hit by an emotional two ton truck
Why dont you kick it in reverse and back it up?
Razor blades couldn't to justice to the depth of this pain.
It's poisoned every ounce of me to the point it's hard to see.
You don't even see that you pick me up
only to throw me down and kick me in the face
You've hurt me to the point I've numbed the pain
and now I'm sitting through this looking glass watching you
make a fool of yourself because you just don't get it
YOU CAN'T HURT ME ANYMORE.
I could sit back and laugh
like you've done to me so many times before
IS IT THAT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND?
Stab that knife into my back
I'm done.