Wow!
Ok, Im not writing this entry so that people can feel bad for me, I just really need to get my thoughts out!
I just read Raches Journal which really mad me cry! But anyways it really made me think about all the things that have happened in my life. When i was little i always wanted to have the perfect life with no problems to face, i wanted to have the perfect family with a mom n a dad n my sister, i wanted to have great friends who were always true to me n to have awesome things to keep me busy.Although i didnt get all of that i still have some things to keep me happy n going.
Mommy, I miss you soo much! I miss how you would call me your brown eyed beauty n mommys lil girl! I just wish that i could go back to the days like rach said that you used to cry over cuts n bruises other than realizing that people our no longer in your life. Mom you taught me so many things that I am goin to carry with me throughout my life, im goin to tell my children n my grandchildren about how grateful they should be for being related to an incredible person like you. Some days I just lay in my bed like I used to and stay up just hoping you would walk through the front door but i cant stay up forever. Sometimes when im having a bad day and no one is home i just lay in your bed and watch movies like we always used to do when I was bored or not feeling well. Mom i cant believe you went through so much and was still able to take care of us, you did a great job at it too. I just wish that i could go into your room n see you layin on your bed again so that i can just lay next to you n talk to you about how my day went n what was new and about all the things that were on my mind, n you would just sit there n listen you wont criticize me on anything and it always use to make me feel soo much better. Now instead of talkin to you i talk to Rachie, she does the same thing she always is there to listen to me n always helps me with my problems, I dont really think she is as great at it as you were but she is pretty darn close. Aunt Helen helps me too she is always there for me n I get to talk to her almost every day online about anything I want! She is soo great, I love the fact that she lives rite around the corner whenever i need Rach or her for just a hug or to talk or to go have fun with i just have to walk around. Although i usaully get a ride in the winter cuz its too dang cold! The other nite Aunt Helen told me that she was talkin to her friends n she referred to me as one of her girls, she really made my nite whether she knew it or not. It made me a very happy person. Mom im just trying to make you proud i really hope im succeeding! That is really my top goal in life, and it was made all because of you!! Let me tell u, you married an incredible guy! Dad although not always the nicest person when u get him mad is amazing! He is takin such good care of us n is trying his hardest to make up for our lost. Although that will never happen because I don’t believe that there is any way imaginable to be as great as you! Now that you have gone away I only have the memories left to share with others. The times where we had a blast! We always had a blast, going shopping wit me n you or bringing along Rach so Aunt Helen didn’t have to! We would stay there the whole day but you never complained because you said you would do anything for me, even if I didn’t believe that then I really do now! I remember when me you n Rach n Aunt Helen went up north to visit Aunt Jean! We had the greatest time! Me n Rach trying to lay down in the back of the truck. Aunt Helen running over Rachies suit case and exploding the toothpaste and breakin her brush. Me n Rach laughing so hard when you were talking about I-69. Aunt Jean smacking Uncle Mark on the head for being very annoying during the movie. When we went into the camper n me n Rach were laughin so hard n then Aunt Helen joining in. And you just looked at us and said someone is going to get hurt, although we didn’t know at all what you were talking about and asked why, and you just sat there with your arms on your hips and said well cuz that’s just what happens, then we lost it and Aunt Helen said that that was the stupiest thing she had ever heard. We really did have a great weekend. If only we could do that again. I loved all the family vacations we would go on, we would always have fun no matter where we went! I miss you so much, my life has changed completely just because you left me! Rest in Peace!!
Madison, I miss you soo much! I can remember the first time I saw you, and me n Rach held you while your mom was eating, and then I started freaking out because you started crying. You were always such a happy baby even though you were goin through such pain. I can remember when me n Rach would watch you and your darling sister Sarina, and you would just lay there n look at us and laugh so much you were so cute. If you only knew how much you sister loved you, she cared about you soo much and still talks about you. I cant believe that she is soo caring about you but then again I can because you were an awesome little baby! I miss you soo much cutie!! Rest in Peace!
I really think I am blessed for having so many guardian angels!! Mommy, Maddie, Grandpa n Grandpa Kudej, Mr. Potter, Tammy, and Joey! I love you all so much! Rest in Peace!
I would really like to thank all the people that care for me, you mean soo much to me. Rachie- I don’t even know what to say you have been such a big impact on my life! You are always right by my side through everything that I and we have been though! Thank you sooo much! I love you to death, and I really mean it when I say I don’t know what I would do without you.
Jax- You are such a great best friend! I have known you for like ever and its soo nice that our families are so close. It makes it so much easier on Christmas and Thanksgiving when I probably would be doin not that much, and I just go to your house and your family accepts the fact that im there and it really makes me feel soo welcome! I Love you!!
Dana- I don’t even know where I would be without you either! Are mom’s were soo close! It was soo awesome when they were girl scout leaders together we had so much fun those years! I loved when we would go on our celebration lunches for just little things but we would always have a blast! I love you so much!!
Kevin- Im so sorry that I have swamped you with all these things that have gone on in my life. I love you soo much, you don’t even know how much you mean to me!
I love all my friends I have no idea where I would be without any of you!!
I just read Raches Journal which really mad me cry! But anyways it really made me think about all the things that have happened in my life. When i was little i always wanted to have the perfect life with no problems to face, i wanted to have the perfect family with a mom n a dad n my sister, i wanted to have great friends who were always true to me n to have awesome things to keep me busy.Although i didnt get all of that i still have some things to keep me happy n going.
Mommy, I miss you soo much! I miss how you would call me your brown eyed beauty n mommys lil girl! I just wish that i could go back to the days like rach said that you used to cry over cuts n bruises other than realizing that people our no longer in your life. Mom you taught me so many things that I am goin to carry with me throughout my life, im goin to tell my children n my grandchildren about how grateful they should be for being related to an incredible person like you. Some days I just lay in my bed like I used to and stay up just hoping you would walk through the front door but i cant stay up forever. Sometimes when im having a bad day and no one is home i just lay in your bed and watch movies like we always used to do when I was bored or not feeling well. Mom i cant believe you went through so much and was still able to take care of us, you did a great job at it too. I just wish that i could go into your room n see you layin on your bed again so that i can just lay next to you n talk to you about how my day went n what was new and about all the things that were on my mind, n you would just sit there n listen you wont criticize me on anything and it always use to make me feel soo much better. Now instead of talkin to you i talk to Rachie, she does the same thing she always is there to listen to me n always helps me with my problems, I dont really think she is as great at it as you were but she is pretty darn close. Aunt Helen helps me too she is always there for me n I get to talk to her almost every day online about anything I want! She is soo great, I love the fact that she lives rite around the corner whenever i need Rach or her for just a hug or to talk or to go have fun with i just have to walk around. Although i usaully get a ride in the winter cuz its too dang cold! The other nite Aunt Helen told me that she was talkin to her friends n she referred to me as one of her girls, she really made my nite whether she knew it or not. It made me a very happy person. Mom im just trying to make you proud i really hope im succeeding! That is really my top goal in life, and it was made all because of you!! Let me tell u, you married an incredible guy! Dad although not always the nicest person when u get him mad is amazing! He is takin such good care of us n is trying his hardest to make up for our lost. Although that will never happen because I don’t believe that there is any way imaginable to be as great as you! Now that you have gone away I only have the memories left to share with others. The times where we had a blast! We always had a blast, going shopping wit me n you or bringing along Rach so Aunt Helen didn’t have to! We would stay there the whole day but you never complained because you said you would do anything for me, even if I didn’t believe that then I really do now! I remember when me you n Rach n Aunt Helen went up north to visit Aunt Jean! We had the greatest time! Me n Rach trying to lay down in the back of the truck. Aunt Helen running over Rachies suit case and exploding the toothpaste and breakin her brush. Me n Rach laughing so hard when you were talking about I-69. Aunt Jean smacking Uncle Mark on the head for being very annoying during the movie. When we went into the camper n me n Rach were laughin so hard n then Aunt Helen joining in. And you just looked at us and said someone is going to get hurt, although we didn’t know at all what you were talking about and asked why, and you just sat there with your arms on your hips and said well cuz that’s just what happens, then we lost it and Aunt Helen said that that was the stupiest thing she had ever heard. We really did have a great weekend. If only we could do that again. I loved all the family vacations we would go on, we would always have fun no matter where we went! I miss you so much, my life has changed completely just because you left me! Rest in Peace!!
Madison, I miss you soo much! I can remember the first time I saw you, and me n Rach held you while your mom was eating, and then I started freaking out because you started crying. You were always such a happy baby even though you were goin through such pain. I can remember when me n Rach would watch you and your darling sister Sarina, and you would just lay there n look at us and laugh so much you were so cute. If you only knew how much you sister loved you, she cared about you soo much and still talks about you. I cant believe that she is soo caring about you but then again I can because you were an awesome little baby! I miss you soo much cutie!! Rest in Peace!
I really think I am blessed for having so many guardian angels!! Mommy, Maddie, Grandpa n Grandpa Kudej, Mr. Potter, Tammy, and Joey! I love you all so much! Rest in Peace!
I would really like to thank all the people that care for me, you mean soo much to me. Rachie- I don’t even know what to say you have been such a big impact on my life! You are always right by my side through everything that I and we have been though! Thank you sooo much! I love you to death, and I really mean it when I say I don’t know what I would do without you.
Jax- You are such a great best friend! I have known you for like ever and its soo nice that our families are so close. It makes it so much easier on Christmas and Thanksgiving when I probably would be doin not that much, and I just go to your house and your family accepts the fact that im there and it really makes me feel soo welcome! I Love you!!
Dana- I don’t even know where I would be without you either! Are mom’s were soo close! It was soo awesome when they were girl scout leaders together we had so much fun those years! I loved when we would go on our celebration lunches for just little things but we would always have a blast! I love you so much!!
Kevin- Im so sorry that I have swamped you with all these things that have gone on in my life. I love you soo much, you don’t even know how much you mean to me!
I love all my friends I have no idea where I would be without any of you!!