Time to catch up?
Okay, Guess I have to do a little bit of explaining for the masses, huh? Why I disappeared and haven't really kept in touch with anyone. Hard part is finding where to start so I guess I'll just jump in at where I jumped out.
I got VERY depressed. My life was frigging horrid and really everything was starting to fall apart. I think I creid myself to sleep everynight for 3 months straight until July of last year. I was a failure, having failed a class for the very first time, and frankly my family decided it was a good thing to put me through the mental torture of reminding me everyday. Dad would never get a backbone and stand up for me against my stepmother and life everyday was hell. I couldn't really do much of anything -- I had a license but no vehicle to just escape when I needed to. So I settled for locking myself in my room, going back and forth to work, wishing for colorguard to start, and school. I'd get on this computer of mine and check my buddy lists, I guess hoping for a sign of someone willing to talk to me but either eveyone was busy, didn't use the name anymore, not online, or just plain ignored me. I was lost and alone in my own depression, spiraling down to somewhere I didn't want to go again.
And well, I was left with one person I could talk to. Chad. God, I hate him so much. I wasted so much of my life on him, so much time he didn't really deserve. I'd talk to him every night and all, you guys know how loyal I was to him. I never cheated on him, I never did anything to make him not trust me. He got possessive and was always accusing me of cheating on him. He was one to really talk though with all the girls he fucked around with behind my back in Richmond. He took me tothe prom and complained the whole time. I told him to take his ass back to Petersburg and go fuck Rachel. He shut up and stopped complaining but wouldn't dance with me at all. He kept getting pissed cause I'd be off dancing with someone else. Hello, MY junior prom! I'm not sitting my ass down the whole night when I went through so damned much trouble to look stunning that night! Afterwards, all he wanted to do was fuck and honestly, there was no way in fucking hell he was going to lay a hand on me. He went back to Petersburg that night at 3:00 in the morning. That was the last time I actually saw him, folks. We talked on the phone for three months, him making me cry every fucking night and getting pissed off when I took my own FATHER to go see a movie with me. July 4th weekend, I went to Atlanta to visit family and he wanted to go. Told him my mom said no and he got pissed. Oh well! I went anyways. Barely talked to him all weekend but he called the night I got back (July 4th) and wanted to come see me. Mom said hell no. He got pissed saying he didn't think we could be together anymore. I hung up on him and long story short, I never forgave him and dumped him on July 10th. Had to have been the BEST day of my entire fucking summer and my life! I was free of an asshole that I wasted too much time on. Well, I moved on from him. I've been with the most amazing man since July 10th (I'll tell y'all bout him in a moment, I gotta finish this up..) but Chad still can't take a hint and keeps calling. He's getting married -- I wish he'll hurry up and do it so his 15 year old girlfriend that he knocked up will delete my phone number and finally put all this shit to an end. It's annoying and I'm about to just let my baby and my daddy handle him and have him arrested for stalking or something.
And I'm sure you're wondering about my amazing honey. Well, his name is John. He pretty much saved my life because I couldn't handle much more of all the shit that I was going through. It was like the second he smiled at me, I was happy. I mean truly and completely happy. He has the cutest red hair and the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen in my entire life. You know, the kind of eyes that you look into them and the whole world and all its problems and worries just melt away and nothing's left but me and him. He makes me feel like no one else ever has. All the times I thought I was in love, I know now I really wasn't. I only cared deeply about someone. With John it really is so much different. I never have to wonder if he really does love me or worry that he'll leave me. I know he does and that he'd never leave me. Just like I know I am in love with him and that I can't leave him. Hell, I have a hard time being away from him for four days out of the week while he's at college at ECPI in Greensboro, NC. He's the best part of my life. I even have a hard time falling asleep some nights because I've gotten used to being in his arms when I go to bed and waking up with him grinning that smile I love so much at me. I feel safe with him because I know he won't let anything happen to me. I've been with him for seven months but I feel something I never have with anyone else. He makes me feel alive and like I'm beautiful. Our first time together, it was out of love. Not hormones and being horny like I had become accustomed to. I wanted to be his in every aspect just as I wanted him to be mine. I guess you can say he was truly my first because he loves me. I know we're going to fight and get mad at eachother and sometimes hurt eachother's feelings but I wouldn't give it all up for the world. And the idea that as of July 8th, 2006 I'll become his wife makes all the good times and bad times I know he and I are going to have something I look forward to. Yep, that's right. I'm serious about him and it's just, well, right. We fit together. It's the best feeling in the entire world!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, guess that about does it. All the major things have been covered aside that I'm graduating in 4 months and 9 days (June 18.) and that I'll be going to nursing school. But hey.
My aim is xdenimnpearls or catch me on msn.
I got VERY depressed. My life was frigging horrid and really everything was starting to fall apart. I think I creid myself to sleep everynight for 3 months straight until July of last year. I was a failure, having failed a class for the very first time, and frankly my family decided it was a good thing to put me through the mental torture of reminding me everyday. Dad would never get a backbone and stand up for me against my stepmother and life everyday was hell. I couldn't really do much of anything -- I had a license but no vehicle to just escape when I needed to. So I settled for locking myself in my room, going back and forth to work, wishing for colorguard to start, and school. I'd get on this computer of mine and check my buddy lists, I guess hoping for a sign of someone willing to talk to me but either eveyone was busy, didn't use the name anymore, not online, or just plain ignored me. I was lost and alone in my own depression, spiraling down to somewhere I didn't want to go again.
And well, I was left with one person I could talk to. Chad. God, I hate him so much. I wasted so much of my life on him, so much time he didn't really deserve. I'd talk to him every night and all, you guys know how loyal I was to him. I never cheated on him, I never did anything to make him not trust me. He got possessive and was always accusing me of cheating on him. He was one to really talk though with all the girls he fucked around with behind my back in Richmond. He took me tothe prom and complained the whole time. I told him to take his ass back to Petersburg and go fuck Rachel. He shut up and stopped complaining but wouldn't dance with me at all. He kept getting pissed cause I'd be off dancing with someone else. Hello, MY junior prom! I'm not sitting my ass down the whole night when I went through so damned much trouble to look stunning that night! Afterwards, all he wanted to do was fuck and honestly, there was no way in fucking hell he was going to lay a hand on me. He went back to Petersburg that night at 3:00 in the morning. That was the last time I actually saw him, folks. We talked on the phone for three months, him making me cry every fucking night and getting pissed off when I took my own FATHER to go see a movie with me. July 4th weekend, I went to Atlanta to visit family and he wanted to go. Told him my mom said no and he got pissed. Oh well! I went anyways. Barely talked to him all weekend but he called the night I got back (July 4th) and wanted to come see me. Mom said hell no. He got pissed saying he didn't think we could be together anymore. I hung up on him and long story short, I never forgave him and dumped him on July 10th. Had to have been the BEST day of my entire fucking summer and my life! I was free of an asshole that I wasted too much time on. Well, I moved on from him. I've been with the most amazing man since July 10th (I'll tell y'all bout him in a moment, I gotta finish this up..) but Chad still can't take a hint and keeps calling. He's getting married -- I wish he'll hurry up and do it so his 15 year old girlfriend that he knocked up will delete my phone number and finally put all this shit to an end. It's annoying and I'm about to just let my baby and my daddy handle him and have him arrested for stalking or something.
And I'm sure you're wondering about my amazing honey. Well, his name is John. He pretty much saved my life because I couldn't handle much more of all the shit that I was going through. It was like the second he smiled at me, I was happy. I mean truly and completely happy. He has the cutest red hair and the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen in my entire life. You know, the kind of eyes that you look into them and the whole world and all its problems and worries just melt away and nothing's left but me and him. He makes me feel like no one else ever has. All the times I thought I was in love, I know now I really wasn't. I only cared deeply about someone. With John it really is so much different. I never have to wonder if he really does love me or worry that he'll leave me. I know he does and that he'd never leave me. Just like I know I am in love with him and that I can't leave him. Hell, I have a hard time being away from him for four days out of the week while he's at college at ECPI in Greensboro, NC. He's the best part of my life. I even have a hard time falling asleep some nights because I've gotten used to being in his arms when I go to bed and waking up with him grinning that smile I love so much at me. I feel safe with him because I know he won't let anything happen to me. I've been with him for seven months but I feel something I never have with anyone else. He makes me feel alive and like I'm beautiful. Our first time together, it was out of love. Not hormones and being horny like I had become accustomed to. I wanted to be his in every aspect just as I wanted him to be mine. I guess you can say he was truly my first because he loves me. I know we're going to fight and get mad at eachother and sometimes hurt eachother's feelings but I wouldn't give it all up for the world. And the idea that as of July 8th, 2006 I'll become his wife makes all the good times and bad times I know he and I are going to have something I look forward to. Yep, that's right. I'm serious about him and it's just, well, right. We fit together. It's the best feeling in the entire world!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, guess that about does it. All the major things have been covered aside that I'm graduating in 4 months and 9 days (June 18.) and that I'll be going to nursing school. But hey.
My aim is xdenimnpearls or catch me on msn.