Songs from Different Times Part 2
Type: Fanfiction
World: Twilight
Status: multi chapter
Title: Songs from Different Times
Rating: M
Genre: Angst, Drama
Pairing: Jacob & Bella
Warnings: language, angst, sexual situations, character death, post-BD
Summary: Thirty years into the future, and the world has stopped turning for Jacob Black. Caught between the strings of his imprint, long forfeited dreams and the hope that somewhere deep inside that girl with the golden eyes, his Bells is still waiting for him, he has to make a choice much graver than any other.
Notes: There are plenty of people who deserve a big hug and millions of thank you's for pre-reading this story and giving me feedback, helping me to get this story going and turn it from a weird idea that would not leave my mind to a finsihed story. So, lezah_hctiw lsjcandy , runningsissors , lizdesmond, dredhedred, and evaa_3 , thank you all so very much for all the help and support.
made by sarahtomas
part 1
S o n g s f r o m D i f f e r e n t T i m e s
Part 2
I'm sinking like a stone in the sea
tautou - brand new
Jacob felt as if he had been running for days without getting tired, no matter how weary his mind constantly seemed to feel, when, in fact, he knew he had been racing through the forest for no longer than a few minutes. He kept pushing his legs faster, feeling the forest rush past him without leaving a mark, barely feeling his paws touching the ground, it was as if he was flying.
For now, his mind was still peacefully quiet, focusing only on the rush of wind, the swirl of colours in front of his eyes, the smell of trees and nearby animals, the sensation of the muscles stretching and contracting beneath his skin.
Jacob was surprised that no one had chased after him yet, yelling, begging, pleading. Although he had been running for exactly this - quiet, peace - there was still a selfish part inside of him that was hurting at the thought of no one bothering to stop him.
Maybe they had eventually realized that the man running from them was not the boy they had taken in so many years ago.
Or maybe they just did not care. Jacob was not sure if he would make the effort to run after one of them, to rescue them. They had become his family over the decades for the sole reason that they were the only ones around, that he had no one else.
Jacob missed talking to strangers, meeting new people, discovering what secrets they were hiding and what stories they had to share. He missed looking into someone's eyes for the very first time, making new memories.
It would be so simple, technically. So very easy to just stop being who he was. To leave and never come back. To grow old and live a normal life.
But he was so tired. Too tired to start off brand new. There was no going back to the person he had once been. Jacob Black had officially died in a car crash thirty years ago, a tragedy, so young, dying just like he had once lost his mother.
He remembered reading his own obituary in the newspaper, cutting it out, keeping it hidden in his room. Sometimes, in moments when he felt like he was part of a grander game someone sick and sadistic was playing, he pulled the yellowing, wrinkled piece of paper out, staring at his name, the two dates, and wishing, for a short moment, that this piece of paper spoke the truth. That he was indeed lying in the ground, sleeping, that none of this had happened and he had crushed his Rabbit into a tree on the way to Port Angeles.
There was no going back. And he was too tired to start over as someone new, when he was already losing himself with every single second of every single endless day until the end of time.
From one second to the next, Jacob felt that he was not alone anymore, although there was not a single soul nearby. He had indeed run quite a distance in the short time that had passed.
Jake, what the hell are you doing? Where are you going? Leah's voice echoed in Jacob's mind, never really a sound but more like a deeper knowledge, an echo of the memory of her voice. Jacob could see her running into the woods behind the house, could see vague figures standing in the distance, watching her disappear.
Leave me alone, Leah. Stay where you are.
You wish, Jake. What is wrong with you all of a sudden? He knew her steps were getting less forceful, the faint order behind his thoughts slowing her down against her will. But she would not give up so easily.
I just need to be alone for a while, Leah. So, could you please just phase back and stop getting on my nerves?
This is not because of her, is it? Leah never thought the concrete name, but when her thoughts took that direction, Jacob was granted a glimpse into her memory, saw himself - tense as his muscles right now - storming towards the glass door and running off into the forest, saw Bella standing on the front porch, holding Renesmee back from following him. Although she had a strong grip on her daughter, her eyes were focused on the edge of the forest, the exact pleading in her eyes that Jacob had recognized and longed for. Really, Jake? Still? She's not that girl anymore, Jake. You know that, right?
Shut up, Leah.
Do you honestly think I didn't know, Jake? I have to share your depressing mind for thirty years now. Believe me, I know what you are thinking even when you are walking on two legs. I know you're hiding that, Jake. And I hoped it was just a phase. You have to let her go. It's been so long and with those shallow thoughts you have lately - I mean, you sometimes don't even notice when I'm phased, too - you start to lose your mind. Let her go. She's dead.
Says the girl who has been crying over the same guy for all these years. Jacob felt a twitch of guilt as he could not stop himself from thinking that thought. He could feel Leah's heart ache in his very own chest, could feel the strength leave her legs.
That's different. He did not die.
For all we know he might as well be dead by now. It's not any different. So stop trying to give me any advices, Leah. Go back.
Jacob could see Leah's mind drift off to a wedding where she was not the bride, a house she did not live in, children that were not her own, while he pushed his legs faster, wanting to mute her thoughts, getting farther away, testing how far he would have to go to hear nothing anymore.
Leah gathered her thoughts, while her legs slowed down to a gentle walk. I'm not trying to force you to do anything. I'm just trying to warn you. Because… I really don't want to lose you, Jake. The overwhelming amount of effort it cost Leah to form this thought almost weakened Jacob's knees, causing his paws to slide along the cold surface of the creek he had just jumped across.
We never even liked each other, Leah. The response was weak and they both knew that.
I know. I still think you're terribly annoying, but… Images of First Beach interrupted Leah's thoughts, blurry images of two black haired children paying in the water, then the children turned older, the little boy clinging to his sister's arm while she tried to shrug him off, the boy became older, just like his sister and they were standing by their father's grave, not daring to glance toward their mother's crying eyes next to them, everything fell apart, wolves suddenly replacing the boy and his sister, chasing through the forests of La Push, accompanied by many others who eventually turned back into human forms, smiling in Leah's memory - you're the only one I have left.
I never thought the day would come for you to admit that you need anyone else apart from yourself. The dry, bitter laughter inside of Jacob died quickly, suffocating before it could even blossom properly.
I know. Maybe I'm getting old.
That's the thing, Leah. We're not getting any older.
I feel old.
I know. Go back, Leah.
Where are you going?
A swirl of images of places Jacob had once been to, and many his imagination made up were the only answer Leah got, and she understood. Away.
So, see you soon, Jake?
Yeah.
And then the world turned quiet once again.
x
Jacob did not know how long he had been running without a break, but deep in his subconscious, he was aware of the sun setting and rising multiple times, every time flooding the world in a reddish glow. There was no more sense of time, no hunger or thirst, no need to sleep, even the need to breathe seemed to be shut down to the minimum.
All that existed was the moment, the speed, moving forward. For these few days, such a ridiculously small amount of time compared to what lay behind Jacob already, the world seemed to make sense again. Being outside in the forest, smelling the woodsy, fresh scent, hearing the birds sing above his head, feeling the uneven ground crumbling beneath his paws - to Jacob, this felt more like home than any place they had lived in over the last years.
He was never a person to be unsettled and roaming around the world without a goal. Jacob Black was homebound. La Push had been his home his entire young life and never had he considered living anywhere else. And even if the circumstances had required him to leave that place, he had been sure that there was some place he would call his home for the rest of his life.
Instead, Jacob and the family his archenemies had become to him, had been moving from place to place like locusts, feeding from what the place had to offer before moving to the next.
Their vegetarian lifestyle had become equally sickening to him as the image of drinking human blood. It disgusted him when he joined them for the hunt, mostly because the pull on Renesmee was too strong to stay behind while she left, or because it would sometimes take him to places he had not been to before. But whenever he saw the blood glistening against their teeth, the terrifyingly graceful way they killed their prey, it made him nauseous. They were predators. He had known that from the very beginning. Monsters.
Still, he had allowed them to lull him into a slumber, making him numb for the cruel images he was confronted with every single day. Slowly, ever so slowly, had had woken up. Seeing things for what they really were. Devious. Abnormal.
But out here, in nature, Jacob had a feeling that there was still good and normal things in the world, that it was still turning perfectly healthy for so many other people out there, and he felt selfish for pitying himself. It was just him, one poor, lost, homeless soul.
The closest thing to home was this, running away from the prison that his life had become.
Jacob slowly started to perceive his surroundings more. Everything suddenly become sharper, clearer, the colours brighter, the warmth of sunlight breaking through the trees tickling his muzzle. It had been a long time since this had happened, but Jacob immediately recognized this as some kind of sixth sense he only possessed when he was in this savage, libidinal stage.
His pace slowed down from a race to a slow walk, his paws digging deep into the dry, soft ground, earth sticking to the soles, as he inhaled deeply, eyes closed, concentrating only on the senses he could trust.
Eyes only betrayed, deceived, formed wrongs, hallucinations.
Faint, distant, quiet voices filled Jacob's ears, and for a bittersweet second, he felt as if he was sixteen again, running enthusiastically through the woods of La Push and hearing faint voices just like that in the milliseconds it took a couple of his pack members to phase before they voices turned louder in his head.
But that was just an old memory, and these were not just echoes of voices in his head. These were real voices. Human voices. Voices that Jacob did not know.
He opened his eyes slowly, surprised by how green everything around him was, glistering in the sunlight.
The voices came from his right side, and, feeling the muscles in his massive body twitch in foreign anticipation, he turned in the direction, slowly stepping closer to the source. There were humans, actual people, here. They were real. Strangers.
Jacob moved slowly but deliberately, carefully setting his steps, avoiding branches that would give him away. He wanted to slap himself for that thought. Those people would never be able to hear him. Leah was right, just like he had known. He was indeed losing his mind, any grasp onto reality. He had spent decades in the company of supernatural creatures that should not even exist, and had forgotten, that not everyone could hear as sharp as he and they could.
Once upon a time, he had told Bella of a place with no monsters and no magic. That world, the utopia he had longed for for so long, was slowly slipping through his fingers.
The forest around Jacob started to become lighter, less dense, more light flooding through the branches, as the voices got louder. What he was doing was dangerous and Jacob knew that, but it was some kind of magnetic pull that kept him going, the need to see with his own eyes what normality and reality was. The evidence that it still existed out there.
He stopped immediately when he could see a mostly empty parking lot that apparently marked the beginning of multiple hiking trails. Keeping safely hidden behind the trees and bushes, Jacob watched a small family unpacking the trunk of their car.
The young boy, not older than six, was jumping around the car, while his parents put on two heavy-looking backpacks. The woman had long brown hair, pulled back in a tight ponytail, her face glowing from the fresh wind, her high cheekbones making her look ethereal. She knelt down to zip up her son's jacket, a look on her face that Jacob vaguely remember seeing on his mother's face when he was younger. But, for all he knew, it might not actually be a memory but wishful thinking. Another fantasy. He barely remembered her at all.
"Stella, honey, where are the car keys?" the man asked, his red hair shining in the sunlight, his skin pale and covered with freckles.
"Here," Stella answered, reaching her hand out towards him, pressing a gentle kiss on her son's forehead.
"Mommy, when do we start?" the little boy asked impatiently, fumbling with the string of his own backpack.
"As soon as Daddy has everything ready, sweetie. Let's be a little patient," Stella said calmly, smiling crookedly at her son.
The little boy's groan mixed with the thud of the trunk closing.
"He really is your son, honey. Always just going for it without planning or thinking. You're going to get yourself killed out there one day if you don't start taking some precautions," the man said in an easy tone, whispering the last parts into Stella's ear before kissing her cheek gently.
Jacob felt tears gather in his eyes, blurring his eyesight as he heard the young woman laugh warmly, before the small family made their way to one of the hiking trails, their son in the middle, holding his parents' hands.
The tears that now soaked his russet fur surprised Jacob, after all these years in which every kind of emotion had become so indifferent to him and nothing was worth shedding tears anymore.
But seeing this, everything he had been denied of and would never be able to experience, tore at Jacob's weary soul. Anger and sadness mixed inside of him as he watched their human forms slowly disappear between the trees, hearing their carefree laughter.
That should have been him kissing Bella's cheek, taking their son hiking in the woods. It should have been him worrying about his wife's life, it should have been Bella zipping up their son's coat.
Everything Jacob had wanted in life was now disappearing with them in between the trees. No monsters and no magic…
He had promised to fight for her until her heart stopped beating. Instead, he had given up too early, and had allowed her to pull him into a net he could not escape anymore.
The sun rose higher with every passing second, and by the time Jacob had gathered himself back together, the heat of noon had dried his tears. He turned around, running back toward his original path, not that he had a specific route, but he tried to walk straight forward, always forward. Dry branches were crunching beneath his paws, a nearby creek rustling melodically, a soft breeze dancing through the tops of the trees.
Then, as sudden as a strike of lightening, Jacob stopped in his tracks. Like a brick thrown at his face he suddenly saw a pair of chocolate brown eyes in front of his inner eye, looking pleadingly at him. He could hear her gentle voice whispering his name, felt the pain he had inflicted on her by running away.
It was a miracle it had taken so long for the imprint to reattach it's strings onto his mind and every limb. But before he knew what he was doing, Jacob had changed course, like an inner compass always pointing towards her, pulling him back like a magnet.
He knew now. This was as far as he could get away. Never further. She would always bring him back.
Faster and faster he ran, the pull of the imprint giving him speed, fed by his insatiable anger that he kept pumping into his muscles before it could blast his brain apart.
There was no escape. Running away was not an option. He would have to go back to lying and pretending, to be what Renesmee needed him to be. To feel his own heart shattering a bit more each day, every second he laid eyes upon the person his Bells had become.
Jacob Black had always had a huge heart. But even the biggest heart had a breaking point. And there were not many more pieces left to shatter.
part 3
World: Twilight
Status: multi chapter
Title: Songs from Different Times
Rating: M
Genre: Angst, Drama
Pairing: Jacob & Bella
Warnings: language, angst, sexual situations, character death, post-BD
Summary: Thirty years into the future, and the world has stopped turning for Jacob Black. Caught between the strings of his imprint, long forfeited dreams and the hope that somewhere deep inside that girl with the golden eyes, his Bells is still waiting for him, he has to make a choice much graver than any other.
Notes: There are plenty of people who deserve a big hug and millions of thank you's for pre-reading this story and giving me feedback, helping me to get this story going and turn it from a weird idea that would not leave my mind to a finsihed story. So, lezah_hctiw lsjcandy , runningsissors , lizdesmond, dredhedred, and evaa_3 , thank you all so very much for all the help and support.
made by sarahtomas
part 1
S o n g s f r o m D i f f e r e n t T i m e s
Part 2
I'm sinking like a stone in the sea
tautou - brand new
Jacob felt as if he had been running for days without getting tired, no matter how weary his mind constantly seemed to feel, when, in fact, he knew he had been racing through the forest for no longer than a few minutes. He kept pushing his legs faster, feeling the forest rush past him without leaving a mark, barely feeling his paws touching the ground, it was as if he was flying.
For now, his mind was still peacefully quiet, focusing only on the rush of wind, the swirl of colours in front of his eyes, the smell of trees and nearby animals, the sensation of the muscles stretching and contracting beneath his skin.
Jacob was surprised that no one had chased after him yet, yelling, begging, pleading. Although he had been running for exactly this - quiet, peace - there was still a selfish part inside of him that was hurting at the thought of no one bothering to stop him.
Maybe they had eventually realized that the man running from them was not the boy they had taken in so many years ago.
Or maybe they just did not care. Jacob was not sure if he would make the effort to run after one of them, to rescue them. They had become his family over the decades for the sole reason that they were the only ones around, that he had no one else.
Jacob missed talking to strangers, meeting new people, discovering what secrets they were hiding and what stories they had to share. He missed looking into someone's eyes for the very first time, making new memories.
It would be so simple, technically. So very easy to just stop being who he was. To leave and never come back. To grow old and live a normal life.
But he was so tired. Too tired to start off brand new. There was no going back to the person he had once been. Jacob Black had officially died in a car crash thirty years ago, a tragedy, so young, dying just like he had once lost his mother.
He remembered reading his own obituary in the newspaper, cutting it out, keeping it hidden in his room. Sometimes, in moments when he felt like he was part of a grander game someone sick and sadistic was playing, he pulled the yellowing, wrinkled piece of paper out, staring at his name, the two dates, and wishing, for a short moment, that this piece of paper spoke the truth. That he was indeed lying in the ground, sleeping, that none of this had happened and he had crushed his Rabbit into a tree on the way to Port Angeles.
There was no going back. And he was too tired to start over as someone new, when he was already losing himself with every single second of every single endless day until the end of time.
From one second to the next, Jacob felt that he was not alone anymore, although there was not a single soul nearby. He had indeed run quite a distance in the short time that had passed.
Jake, what the hell are you doing? Where are you going? Leah's voice echoed in Jacob's mind, never really a sound but more like a deeper knowledge, an echo of the memory of her voice. Jacob could see her running into the woods behind the house, could see vague figures standing in the distance, watching her disappear.
Leave me alone, Leah. Stay where you are.
You wish, Jake. What is wrong with you all of a sudden? He knew her steps were getting less forceful, the faint order behind his thoughts slowing her down against her will. But she would not give up so easily.
I just need to be alone for a while, Leah. So, could you please just phase back and stop getting on my nerves?
This is not because of her, is it? Leah never thought the concrete name, but when her thoughts took that direction, Jacob was granted a glimpse into her memory, saw himself - tense as his muscles right now - storming towards the glass door and running off into the forest, saw Bella standing on the front porch, holding Renesmee back from following him. Although she had a strong grip on her daughter, her eyes were focused on the edge of the forest, the exact pleading in her eyes that Jacob had recognized and longed for. Really, Jake? Still? She's not that girl anymore, Jake. You know that, right?
Shut up, Leah.
Do you honestly think I didn't know, Jake? I have to share your depressing mind for thirty years now. Believe me, I know what you are thinking even when you are walking on two legs. I know you're hiding that, Jake. And I hoped it was just a phase. You have to let her go. It's been so long and with those shallow thoughts you have lately - I mean, you sometimes don't even notice when I'm phased, too - you start to lose your mind. Let her go. She's dead.
Says the girl who has been crying over the same guy for all these years. Jacob felt a twitch of guilt as he could not stop himself from thinking that thought. He could feel Leah's heart ache in his very own chest, could feel the strength leave her legs.
That's different. He did not die.
For all we know he might as well be dead by now. It's not any different. So stop trying to give me any advices, Leah. Go back.
Jacob could see Leah's mind drift off to a wedding where she was not the bride, a house she did not live in, children that were not her own, while he pushed his legs faster, wanting to mute her thoughts, getting farther away, testing how far he would have to go to hear nothing anymore.
Leah gathered her thoughts, while her legs slowed down to a gentle walk. I'm not trying to force you to do anything. I'm just trying to warn you. Because… I really don't want to lose you, Jake. The overwhelming amount of effort it cost Leah to form this thought almost weakened Jacob's knees, causing his paws to slide along the cold surface of the creek he had just jumped across.
We never even liked each other, Leah. The response was weak and they both knew that.
I know. I still think you're terribly annoying, but… Images of First Beach interrupted Leah's thoughts, blurry images of two black haired children paying in the water, then the children turned older, the little boy clinging to his sister's arm while she tried to shrug him off, the boy became older, just like his sister and they were standing by their father's grave, not daring to glance toward their mother's crying eyes next to them, everything fell apart, wolves suddenly replacing the boy and his sister, chasing through the forests of La Push, accompanied by many others who eventually turned back into human forms, smiling in Leah's memory - you're the only one I have left.
I never thought the day would come for you to admit that you need anyone else apart from yourself. The dry, bitter laughter inside of Jacob died quickly, suffocating before it could even blossom properly.
I know. Maybe I'm getting old.
That's the thing, Leah. We're not getting any older.
I feel old.
I know. Go back, Leah.
Where are you going?
A swirl of images of places Jacob had once been to, and many his imagination made up were the only answer Leah got, and she understood. Away.
So, see you soon, Jake?
Yeah.
And then the world turned quiet once again.
x
Jacob did not know how long he had been running without a break, but deep in his subconscious, he was aware of the sun setting and rising multiple times, every time flooding the world in a reddish glow. There was no more sense of time, no hunger or thirst, no need to sleep, even the need to breathe seemed to be shut down to the minimum.
All that existed was the moment, the speed, moving forward. For these few days, such a ridiculously small amount of time compared to what lay behind Jacob already, the world seemed to make sense again. Being outside in the forest, smelling the woodsy, fresh scent, hearing the birds sing above his head, feeling the uneven ground crumbling beneath his paws - to Jacob, this felt more like home than any place they had lived in over the last years.
He was never a person to be unsettled and roaming around the world without a goal. Jacob Black was homebound. La Push had been his home his entire young life and never had he considered living anywhere else. And even if the circumstances had required him to leave that place, he had been sure that there was some place he would call his home for the rest of his life.
Instead, Jacob and the family his archenemies had become to him, had been moving from place to place like locusts, feeding from what the place had to offer before moving to the next.
Their vegetarian lifestyle had become equally sickening to him as the image of drinking human blood. It disgusted him when he joined them for the hunt, mostly because the pull on Renesmee was too strong to stay behind while she left, or because it would sometimes take him to places he had not been to before. But whenever he saw the blood glistening against their teeth, the terrifyingly graceful way they killed their prey, it made him nauseous. They were predators. He had known that from the very beginning. Monsters.
Still, he had allowed them to lull him into a slumber, making him numb for the cruel images he was confronted with every single day. Slowly, ever so slowly, had had woken up. Seeing things for what they really were. Devious. Abnormal.
But out here, in nature, Jacob had a feeling that there was still good and normal things in the world, that it was still turning perfectly healthy for so many other people out there, and he felt selfish for pitying himself. It was just him, one poor, lost, homeless soul.
The closest thing to home was this, running away from the prison that his life had become.
Jacob slowly started to perceive his surroundings more. Everything suddenly become sharper, clearer, the colours brighter, the warmth of sunlight breaking through the trees tickling his muzzle. It had been a long time since this had happened, but Jacob immediately recognized this as some kind of sixth sense he only possessed when he was in this savage, libidinal stage.
His pace slowed down from a race to a slow walk, his paws digging deep into the dry, soft ground, earth sticking to the soles, as he inhaled deeply, eyes closed, concentrating only on the senses he could trust.
Eyes only betrayed, deceived, formed wrongs, hallucinations.
Faint, distant, quiet voices filled Jacob's ears, and for a bittersweet second, he felt as if he was sixteen again, running enthusiastically through the woods of La Push and hearing faint voices just like that in the milliseconds it took a couple of his pack members to phase before they voices turned louder in his head.
But that was just an old memory, and these were not just echoes of voices in his head. These were real voices. Human voices. Voices that Jacob did not know.
He opened his eyes slowly, surprised by how green everything around him was, glistering in the sunlight.
The voices came from his right side, and, feeling the muscles in his massive body twitch in foreign anticipation, he turned in the direction, slowly stepping closer to the source. There were humans, actual people, here. They were real. Strangers.
Jacob moved slowly but deliberately, carefully setting his steps, avoiding branches that would give him away. He wanted to slap himself for that thought. Those people would never be able to hear him. Leah was right, just like he had known. He was indeed losing his mind, any grasp onto reality. He had spent decades in the company of supernatural creatures that should not even exist, and had forgotten, that not everyone could hear as sharp as he and they could.
Once upon a time, he had told Bella of a place with no monsters and no magic. That world, the utopia he had longed for for so long, was slowly slipping through his fingers.
The forest around Jacob started to become lighter, less dense, more light flooding through the branches, as the voices got louder. What he was doing was dangerous and Jacob knew that, but it was some kind of magnetic pull that kept him going, the need to see with his own eyes what normality and reality was. The evidence that it still existed out there.
He stopped immediately when he could see a mostly empty parking lot that apparently marked the beginning of multiple hiking trails. Keeping safely hidden behind the trees and bushes, Jacob watched a small family unpacking the trunk of their car.
The young boy, not older than six, was jumping around the car, while his parents put on two heavy-looking backpacks. The woman had long brown hair, pulled back in a tight ponytail, her face glowing from the fresh wind, her high cheekbones making her look ethereal. She knelt down to zip up her son's jacket, a look on her face that Jacob vaguely remember seeing on his mother's face when he was younger. But, for all he knew, it might not actually be a memory but wishful thinking. Another fantasy. He barely remembered her at all.
"Stella, honey, where are the car keys?" the man asked, his red hair shining in the sunlight, his skin pale and covered with freckles.
"Here," Stella answered, reaching her hand out towards him, pressing a gentle kiss on her son's forehead.
"Mommy, when do we start?" the little boy asked impatiently, fumbling with the string of his own backpack.
"As soon as Daddy has everything ready, sweetie. Let's be a little patient," Stella said calmly, smiling crookedly at her son.
The little boy's groan mixed with the thud of the trunk closing.
"He really is your son, honey. Always just going for it without planning or thinking. You're going to get yourself killed out there one day if you don't start taking some precautions," the man said in an easy tone, whispering the last parts into Stella's ear before kissing her cheek gently.
Jacob felt tears gather in his eyes, blurring his eyesight as he heard the young woman laugh warmly, before the small family made their way to one of the hiking trails, their son in the middle, holding his parents' hands.
The tears that now soaked his russet fur surprised Jacob, after all these years in which every kind of emotion had become so indifferent to him and nothing was worth shedding tears anymore.
But seeing this, everything he had been denied of and would never be able to experience, tore at Jacob's weary soul. Anger and sadness mixed inside of him as he watched their human forms slowly disappear between the trees, hearing their carefree laughter.
That should have been him kissing Bella's cheek, taking their son hiking in the woods. It should have been him worrying about his wife's life, it should have been Bella zipping up their son's coat.
Everything Jacob had wanted in life was now disappearing with them in between the trees. No monsters and no magic…
He had promised to fight for her until her heart stopped beating. Instead, he had given up too early, and had allowed her to pull him into a net he could not escape anymore.
The sun rose higher with every passing second, and by the time Jacob had gathered himself back together, the heat of noon had dried his tears. He turned around, running back toward his original path, not that he had a specific route, but he tried to walk straight forward, always forward. Dry branches were crunching beneath his paws, a nearby creek rustling melodically, a soft breeze dancing through the tops of the trees.
Then, as sudden as a strike of lightening, Jacob stopped in his tracks. Like a brick thrown at his face he suddenly saw a pair of chocolate brown eyes in front of his inner eye, looking pleadingly at him. He could hear her gentle voice whispering his name, felt the pain he had inflicted on her by running away.
It was a miracle it had taken so long for the imprint to reattach it's strings onto his mind and every limb. But before he knew what he was doing, Jacob had changed course, like an inner compass always pointing towards her, pulling him back like a magnet.
He knew now. This was as far as he could get away. Never further. She would always bring him back.
Faster and faster he ran, the pull of the imprint giving him speed, fed by his insatiable anger that he kept pumping into his muscles before it could blast his brain apart.
There was no escape. Running away was not an option. He would have to go back to lying and pretending, to be what Renesmee needed him to be. To feel his own heart shattering a bit more each day, every second he laid eyes upon the person his Bells had become.
Jacob Black had always had a huge heart. But even the biggest heart had a breaking point. And there were not many more pieces left to shatter.
part 3