FORTRESS
Today was one of those days. One of those days where life could have been a little better. I did homework, napped, ate, studied. I mean it wasn't horrible, obviously, but something is just missing. I hate that feeling. Something's missing. Johnny said it best:
I'm not alone, I wish I was.
Cause then I'd know, I was down because
I couldn't find, a friend around
To love me like, they do right now.
They do right now.
I'm dizzy from the shopping malls
I searched for joy, but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
and a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all
When autumn comes, it doesnt ask.
It just walks in, where it left you last.
And you never know, when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart:
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all
I can't be sure that this state of mind, is not of my own design
I wish there was an over the counter test, for loneliness.
For loneliness like this.
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Something's different
And i don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Friends -check- Money -check-
A well slept -check- Opposite sex -check- Guitar -check- Microphone -check- Messages waiting for me, when i come home
-check-
How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means
How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means
I don't know what it is. It's a constant nagging feeling that flees and returns again only to haunt me. I have a great family, friends, boyfriend. I'm doing well in school for the most part. I have a job and nice things, but I can't but help this feeling that I get sometimes. It seems not even justifiable. It makes you want to sleep away the thoughts of angst and doubtfulness. I don't like it. I feel like I am losing my passion for a lot of things and gaining it in areas I shouldn't. Hard to understand but it's not like me, myself or I. How do I fix that?
It is getting darker earlier in the day now. Winter approaches. Sweaters emerge. I couldn't be more happy for this event. Winter is just clearer to me. Days are more enjoyable. Oh bless the winter, friends! Oh!
THere are a thousand things I want to do, but practicality holds me back. It's holding me back like I'm in a fight I shouldn't be in. I want to cut the ties and you make me want to do that. But that's not me? Who is me? Who am I really? Smart or Un-Smart? Weird or quirky? Hardworking or Lazy? Studious or not? I hate being combinations of more than one trait that counteract eachother. I am really starting to wonder where these doubts come from. I think I need a European adventure to "discover who I am", but honestly I would only come to find out things that will confuse me more, but yet I still want to do it. Things I do, say or feel don't make sense to be honest.
One thing is for sure, I am happy. Not the more entire extent, but a lot happier than I have ever been. Relaxed. Enjoyable. Emerged in my life, so I suppose getting to that point where I can fully be who I am to the extent in which I want to be (still yet to be determined), full happiness will be obtained and I will be LAURA ANN PREHODA, once and for all. The journey getting there is what it's all about, I suppose. The journey is rough my friends, it's rough.
I'm not alone, I wish I was.
Cause then I'd know, I was down because
I couldn't find, a friend around
To love me like, they do right now.
They do right now.
I'm dizzy from the shopping malls
I searched for joy, but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
and a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all
When autumn comes, it doesnt ask.
It just walks in, where it left you last.
And you never know, when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart:
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all
I can't be sure that this state of mind, is not of my own design
I wish there was an over the counter test, for loneliness.
For loneliness like this.
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Something's different
And i don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Friends -check- Money -check-
A well slept -check- Opposite sex -check- Guitar -check- Microphone -check- Messages waiting for me, when i come home
-check-
How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means
How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means
I don't know what it is. It's a constant nagging feeling that flees and returns again only to haunt me. I have a great family, friends, boyfriend. I'm doing well in school for the most part. I have a job and nice things, but I can't but help this feeling that I get sometimes. It seems not even justifiable. It makes you want to sleep away the thoughts of angst and doubtfulness. I don't like it. I feel like I am losing my passion for a lot of things and gaining it in areas I shouldn't. Hard to understand but it's not like me, myself or I. How do I fix that?
It is getting darker earlier in the day now. Winter approaches. Sweaters emerge. I couldn't be more happy for this event. Winter is just clearer to me. Days are more enjoyable. Oh bless the winter, friends! Oh!
THere are a thousand things I want to do, but practicality holds me back. It's holding me back like I'm in a fight I shouldn't be in. I want to cut the ties and you make me want to do that. But that's not me? Who is me? Who am I really? Smart or Un-Smart? Weird or quirky? Hardworking or Lazy? Studious or not? I hate being combinations of more than one trait that counteract eachother. I am really starting to wonder where these doubts come from. I think I need a European adventure to "discover who I am", but honestly I would only come to find out things that will confuse me more, but yet I still want to do it. Things I do, say or feel don't make sense to be honest.
One thing is for sure, I am happy. Not the more entire extent, but a lot happier than I have ever been. Relaxed. Enjoyable. Emerged in my life, so I suppose getting to that point where I can fully be who I am to the extent in which I want to be (still yet to be determined), full happiness will be obtained and I will be LAURA ANN PREHODA, once and for all. The journey getting there is what it's all about, I suppose. The journey is rough my friends, it's rough.