"...Lets keep it friendly..."
I'm tired of living this lie, I really am. I'm trying to convince myself that everything will evenutally work out, and everything will be fine, if I only give it time.
I had so much fun with Josh this weekend. We stayed in a really nice hotel in East Louisville. We went out, he took me to Joe's Crab Shack, because he knew I had never been there before. We had a lot of fun, and he went swimming with me. Too bad hotels cost so much, because it was a nice getaway for us. However, the whole time he kept saying "we're just friends," and it kinda got to me. I know thats what we are, but I personally feel like we are more than that. I know that we have been doing great latley (except for last weekend) and I know that maybe if we can keep this up, we might end up back together.
Last week, I asked Josh if we should just "give up on us." He stopped me, and was like "No, I don't think so" He then went onto to tell me that he has hope and that I should too. In my opnion we've been doing really good, and I just want to show him that its not just for a week or two weeks, that I really have focused myself on changing into who I want to be.
I'm hoping we can keep this up. Today I picked him up for work, and woke up really early to pick him up after he dropped his car off. I know he appriciated it, because he kept telling me how it really helped him out and stuff. It was really nice to get to see him, and make somewhat of an impact in his life. Haha.
I've been thinking about when I move to Louisville. Will 40 miles really ruin our relationship? Will it put that much of a damper on us? I guess we're just going to have to wait and see. I know the first year is going to be the hardest, because the dorm I am staying in will not allow males to spend the night. Between the two of us (if things do work out) there will be a lot of driving, I can already tell. I'm sure I'll only see him maybe once or twice a month. But part of me thinks that will be good for us, because we will both do what we want, and not have to worry about each other.
I'm just going to keep waiting.
However, there is this guy at work I kinda like. We talk on AIM a little bit, but I don't really think he's that into me, which is cool. I just don't know. I feel like I'm pushing everyone who I come into contact away because Im still stuck on JoshBrad. But I feel like I should be holding on to him. I don't know. I'm sooooo confused.
Oh, and Josh paid for me to get my tragus pierced finally. I decided to only get one done due to talking on the phone and things like that. I will however the left one done someday.
I'm about to go. I'm talking to Joshua (guy from work, funny how they have the same name, huh?) online. Keep it real.
till next time america...
I had so much fun with Josh this weekend. We stayed in a really nice hotel in East Louisville. We went out, he took me to Joe's Crab Shack, because he knew I had never been there before. We had a lot of fun, and he went swimming with me. Too bad hotels cost so much, because it was a nice getaway for us. However, the whole time he kept saying "we're just friends," and it kinda got to me. I know thats what we are, but I personally feel like we are more than that. I know that we have been doing great latley (except for last weekend) and I know that maybe if we can keep this up, we might end up back together.
Last week, I asked Josh if we should just "give up on us." He stopped me, and was like "No, I don't think so" He then went onto to tell me that he has hope and that I should too. In my opnion we've been doing really good, and I just want to show him that its not just for a week or two weeks, that I really have focused myself on changing into who I want to be.
I'm hoping we can keep this up. Today I picked him up for work, and woke up really early to pick him up after he dropped his car off. I know he appriciated it, because he kept telling me how it really helped him out and stuff. It was really nice to get to see him, and make somewhat of an impact in his life. Haha.
I've been thinking about when I move to Louisville. Will 40 miles really ruin our relationship? Will it put that much of a damper on us? I guess we're just going to have to wait and see. I know the first year is going to be the hardest, because the dorm I am staying in will not allow males to spend the night. Between the two of us (if things do work out) there will be a lot of driving, I can already tell. I'm sure I'll only see him maybe once or twice a month. But part of me thinks that will be good for us, because we will both do what we want, and not have to worry about each other.
I'm just going to keep waiting.
However, there is this guy at work I kinda like. We talk on AIM a little bit, but I don't really think he's that into me, which is cool. I just don't know. I feel like I'm pushing everyone who I come into contact away because Im still stuck on JoshBrad. But I feel like I should be holding on to him. I don't know. I'm sooooo confused.
Oh, and Josh paid for me to get my tragus pierced finally. I decided to only get one done due to talking on the phone and things like that. I will however the left one done someday.
I'm about to go. I'm talking to Joshua (guy from work, funny how they have the same name, huh?) online. Keep it real.
till next time america...